Gender Equal Ceremony

I don't really think having both your parents walk you down the aisle is gender equal, personally. The idea is they are "giving" you to your groom, so that still suggests you are property.

Unless your fiance will also be walked down the aisle earlier by his parents so that you're both being given to each other?

But really, I'd focus on the elements that bother you and that you want to change to reflect your relationship. Those would be more meaningful.

View Quoted Comment Yes, he will he walked down by both his parents...I neglected to mention that in my original post

We are also not going to use any “obeys” or “follows” in our ceremony.

Understand what you're getting at, and just my opinion but instead of "you may now kiss your bride and you may now your groom" what about "you may now share your first kiss as One" or something to that effect? It just sounds a bit wordy the other way, but nothing wrong with that if that makes you happiest!

View Quoted Comment I actually love your idea - thanks!

I think we will definitely be changing up the the part where the officiant asks who is giving the bride away into something that does not imply that I am property there are some examples/ ideas of alternatives in this article: https://www.thespruce.com/giving-away-the-bride-traditions-and-alternatives-3490163

View Quoted Comment We did this too!

We viewed it as both his parents raised him equally so they both wanted to walk him into the start of a different part of his life!

My gram had some words about it but it represented us!

Our officiant said "now you two can *finally* kiss!" (we snuck kisses when I first was passed off after the processional and when we did the unity ceremony) and she had to say "hey none of that" a few times (in a joking manner)

We also took out the obey and serve language in our ceremony. Idk if we did anything else gender equal but I love it!

View Quoted Comment

Being escorted down the aisle does not automatically signify that you are being "given away" or are property. In the catholic church for example, brides have never been "given away", but in modern times are often escorted by their father's, mother's, or both. It's simply a way to honor the relationship between the escort and the bride. OP - I think it's nice that you will have both parents of both of you join in the walk towards marriage and you can certainly eliminate the "who gives this person" verbiage from the ceremony.

We are also having a ceremony that nods to gender equality. We are having the officiant just say “you may now kiss” and leaving out titles. We are also including my name in the introduction. We are writing our own vows to eliminate all that creepy possessive stuff about honoring and obeying too.

My father is escorting me down the aisle and my FH is escorting his mother. My brother will escort my mom and his sister will escort his dad so that our entire family is included in the procession.

Instead of my father giving me away, we are taking our officiant's suggestion and she will ask who supports this woman in her marriage to Groom and my parents will say we do. She will then ask who supports this man in his marriage to Bride and his parents will say we do. Seemed nice and inclusive of both families.

I like the idea but, think the wording for the kiss is a bit too wordy. I think we are going with you may now kiss.

Instead of Mr. & Mrs. John Doe, we will be introduced as Jane & John Doe since I am taking his last name.

We omitted all reference to obey, serve, etc. We worked hard to be inclusive too and our officiant was great about this too.

I was inexplicably attached to some of the traditional trappings of wedding-ness, so I wanted my dad to have the honor of escorting me down the aisle and stuff... but I also didn't actually want to be given away because I'm not property and it's icky. The way we arranged it was that when the officiant asked "who gives this woman" my father answered "she gives herself, with the blessing of her mother and myself" It may still be more traditional than you're looking for, but it was just right for us.

Our officiant ended the ceremony by saying that he was thrilled to present "the newest married couple in the world: T___ V___ and A___ G___ V___."

I want to walk with my dad, but will skip any language about being given away. I'll probably just give him a kiss on the cheek or a hug and let him take his seat.

My FH's parents are deceased or he could walk with them if he wanted to. He'll probably walk in with one or both of his daughters.

View Quoted Comment I never knew this. Thanks for sharing!