Gender Roles

View Quoted Comment I love the team aspect.

No. You're lucky!!

We don’t have gender roles. Most things we do as a team, we’ll cook dinner together and clean together and we take turns doing everything else. If there is a day where I cook and clean, he will cook and clean the next time.

I think it's 2019 and you both should do whatever you need/want to do. This idea of gender roles is not as prevalent as it was 50 years ago. Yes I cook and clean, but my fiance works in the city and can't cook to save his life and I don't mind doing it.

Every time I hear “gender roles” I cringe & laugh at the same time. In 2019 women make 47% of US workforce & women are primary breadwinners in 40% of US families. Yet some still expect them to do majority of housework & parenting, while men mown the lawn & take the garbage out?! I mean... why would anyone want to marry a man so that they can fully take care of him & the house & the kids, while also working, is beyond me 😆
The only gender role I can get behind is my FH being in charge of carrying EVERYTHING lol. But that’s because I’m a tiny, skinny woman with not enough muscle mass 😆

No, I don't think "gender" should have anything to do with it. For us, it comes down to "skill" and "want" vs. "need." For instance:

My husband is hands down 100% better at cleaning them me, especially when it comes to dishes. However, when we want something cleaned and organized, it's all on me, because that's where my talents are.

My husband folds way better than I do but that's a joint expedition.

I mow the lawn and he cleans the bathroom, but we will reverse sometimes if one of us get tired of doing it.

I take care of the money and bills, and he fix's the cars.

I do ALL of the cooking, baking, etc., BUT he does all of the dishes.

Everything else we really just do together or one of us will take it upon ourselves to do so the other one doesn't have to.

It's all part of being married.

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Iva,

Your last comment made me crack up laughing. So my husband is pretty strong, especially compared to me of course, but I've always been one of those people where I don't want around for assitance I will just do it. So I laugh because my husband and I were at Home Depot last weekend buying bags of dirt for our yard and here he is on his phone while I'm lifting huge bags of dirt onto our flatbed cart.

He says "Babe everyone is going to think I treat you as a slave." I laugh of course and say "Yea, but they don't know that you had lambrin surgery on your shoulder, nor that I asked you to find our electronic gift card so we didn't have to pay for all of this." ha!

So even though I'm 5ft tall weigh 110lbs and my husband should totally (by the standard) be lifting those bags of dirt, I know that if he does I'll hear nothing but complaining later about his shoulder so I take it upon myself so he doesn't hurt himself, plus, it keeps him busy looking up our gift card LOL.

We don't really have any roles. We share pretty much everything. We both have full time jobs so we share the responsibilities of cooking and cleaning.

View Quoted Comment That’s too funny 😄 Hey whatever works! You for sure have my full respect lol, I barely carry two cartons of milk from a grocery store. So when we go grocery shopping, my role comes down to saying: honey, are you sure you can carry all that? But FH knows better than to say “no, I can’t” 😂

It's 2019. You do what works for you, not society.

Definitely not.

My FH thought this when we first got together. I asked him what his idea of what we each should be doing was and he's stuck in the 50's where he works and provides for me and our kids and I stay at home to cook, clean and all that. Which I threw out the window. It was kind of difficult to get through that barrier, he felt such a strong urge to provide for me, but I'm not willing to give up my job. We floundered through it. As long as it works and we still love each other, who cares who cleans as long as it gets done? that's how I feel

My fiance cleans cooks and does basically everything around the house... his excuse as to why? He doesnt like the way i clean, he mostly cooks and i cook on the weekends....i cant ask for a more perfect man hahaha

No way! My FH works a very weird schedule due to his career so he will be cooking/doing yard work when he’s home and I will be doing the same when I’m home! We see it as an equal partnership!

Oh heck no! Gender roles don't fit the time we live in! DH works in an office where he often meets with clients and has to wear a suit and tie to work. I work at a metal recycling facility, often outside around heavy equipment. I have to wear FR HV work cloths with steel toed boots, hard hat and safety glasses.

Although I am a better cook, he is better at and more willing to do house work so that is what we stick to.

We have also discussed the possibility of him one day being a stay at home dad because this is far better growth opportunity where I work than where he does.

Definitely not. My FH does most cleaning and household chores even though we both work. He gets an hour lunch and works 5 minutes from the house so knocks most of them out on lunch. I do most of the cooking because I workout at home after lunch to be with our son and he goes to the actual gym. As long as there is no resentment being built up on either side to each their own! You do what makes sense for your situation

No, I think both parties should help out around the house. There are weeks where FH will cook and clean and there are weeks I will. We both work full time, he's going to school online, and I'm studying for the CPA exam. It just depends on our schedules and how lazy we are. Haha.

Gender roles are a thing of the past, not all women stay home taking care of the kids all day, but some do and that's okay! There are also tons of kick-butt stay-at-home dad's with working wives! Partnership and caring are totally key. My FH is so much better at cleaning than I am! He does dishes more often and doesn't mind it-- whereas I moan and complain about it. I also hate cooking things that take longer than 5 minutes, but he LOVES experimenting with food and new dishes. Then on the flip of that, I have a huge sweet tooth and love to bake, and he thinks he's terrible at it. We do our laundry separate, but sometimes I fold both of ours because little routines are therapeutic to me. He likes to clean things around the apartment and is way tidier than I am. But then again, sometimes if I get home first, I'll do the dishes in the sink so he doesn't have to. It's just all about working together.

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Huh? Can you elaborate on this response?

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I love the idea of cooking together. Believe it or not, my husband and I have been together for 7 years and we have never cooked together.