General Q's that need some A's!

I recommend you send out STDs 9 months in advance.

Save The Dates are typically sent around 8 months before the wedding. Invitations are sent 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Everyone who receives a Save The Date should also receive an invitation, so make sure you only send Save The Dates to those who you definitely want to invite. For bridal showers, those are hosted by someone other than the bride, and are usually held within 3 months of the wedding. Do not include registry information on your Save The Dates or wedding invitations or bridal shower invitations - instead, put that information on your wedding website, and put the website address on your Save The Dates and invites. Happy wedding planning!

Save the dates should go out anywhere between 6-8 months before your wedding just to give everyone a heads up that they are invited. I did mine at the 12 month mark to be extra cautious with the whole covid thing. Mine is in July and I was worried about vacations and other events being rebooked to that weekend, but 6-8 months is a perfect time to aim for.


Invites usually go out 2 months before the wedding. You would give your guests about a month to respond that way you can give your venue a headcount at the 1 month mark.
The shower can be any time really but I would do sometime after invitation time, possibly a month before the wedding. It would be cool to make games for the honeyfund at your shower. Have people bet on stuff and in return the winner gets a "reward." It could be interesting.

Save the dates are typically sent 6 to 8 months in advance, and invitations are sent 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Wedding showers are thrown by whoever volunteers to host it for you (could be a bridesmaid, mother, aunt, friends, etc.). Whoever is offering to throw the shower for you should consult you for a list of days that work within your schedule, but they are typically thrown within 2-3 mos of the wedding. Honey funds are used for weddings; whereas showers typically require you to register for physical items guests can purchase for you and bring (ie, they “shower” you with gifts for the newlywed home).

The date of the shower is determined by the hostesses who volunteer to throw one, not by the bride. it is usually 1-4 months before the wedding, though on occasions where a lot of people are gathered for other reasons ( childhood friends who always spend Thanksgiving weekend in their home town) a hostess may want to make traveling to the shower a priority and do it at 6 months. ... Save the Dates are a new thing. You do not have to do any at all. If people are mostly within a short drive, you may use a Save or Phone call or email to give much earlier notice to someone who would travel from far away, or schedule . Be careful of Saves. Once you send a Save, you are committed to inviting that person and their SO, and if you later have to cut your numbers, it is much harder than if you waited until invitation time for the non-essential guests. And guests who receive one are under no obligation to commit themselves until actual invitations are received at 6-8 weeks. So sending Saves earlier does not mean they are more likely to come. An international Save , or one to a very expensive destination wedding may go put a year in advance, so Visas and work can be handled, and money reserved. One requiring not expensive air travel you might wait til 4-6 months, and mostly local people at 4 months, or not at all. You may send Saves to some people, not all. ... Invitations are mailed in time to arrive 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Usually when signing contracts for venue and catering, couples should not agree to sign to have final numbers in before 15-21 days. For many people, jobs only guarantee time off a month in advance schools the same, set 4 week schedules. So you want to sent an RSVP date no sooner than the 25th, then have a few days to call those who only know last minute. ... By social convention, general agreement for years and years, invitations for big events like weddings come 6-8 weeks out. That is so people have in front of them at the same time, all invitations for a given day.
If you send invitations at 4 months, very early, and people reply yes, they may still get an invitation from a sister or brother, or closer friend, and when they get those invitations at 6-8 weeks, they may cancel yours, and accept those of someone closer. Promises to attend asked for too rarly are not binding. They are hosts taking advantage of things you cannot know. However, if you receive an invitation at the usual time, that is considered a commitment. Too bad if another closer friend gave you less notice than 5-6 weeks. ... Some brides send Invitations months early, and get extremely upset even 2 months out a huge number change their minds, particularly for destination weddings. So be aware. Have Fun🙂

Save the dates are sent 8-12 months ahead after you finalize your guestlist. Invites are sent out 6-8 weeks ahead, no later or earlier. With replies due 3-4 weeks ahead with a few days' cushion for you to track down replies.


You don't worry about a shower since someone else will host that. If they don't, then you don't have one. A shower is for physical gifts and many people do not give cash gift or donate to honeymoon funds. Graciously accept physical gifts with prompt thank you notes.

Aww your wedding is my birthday! And I would recommend sending the save the dates out in January and your invites out in August.


Who is planning tour shower? Just come up with a date that works for you guys preferably 2-3 months before the wedding. Goodluck with everything!

1. I'd send out Save the Dates as soon as you're locked in with your venue. In my circles, there are a lot of weddings and events, especially in the fall, and the earlier people can plan out their calendars, the better. Send your invites about two-three months before. Some people say you should give people two weeks prior to the wedding to RSVP, but I've always been given an RSVP date that's 4 to 8 weeks before the big day.

2. Your shower hosts can have your party whenever you want, but usually within three months of the wedding. Mine was three weeks prior.

3. Consider registering both for Honeyfund and physical gifts. Some people prefer to give physical gifts no matter what, and in my circle it's gifts for the shower and cash/Honeyfund for the wedding. There's no rule that you have to open your gifts at the shower. You can still have a nice brunch or lunch, play games (or not).

I want to thank everyone sooo much! I already have my venue booked and paid off! All of this advice has given me much to think about. God bless and stay safe everyone

Agree with the others. STDs 6-8 months & invitations around the 3 month mark. Our wedding is 4/3/21 & we plan on mailing our invitations out the beginning of January. The deadline to RSVP is 2/28 but the deadline for our final headcount for the venue is 3/5. That gives us a week to track down those who haven’t responded.
My sister is my MOH & she is planning my bachelorette/lingerie party. She knows what I want & will make the necessary arrangements. My FMIL is taking on the responsibility of planning the rehearsal dinner.