Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Shaunda
Beginner May 2020

Get married one day and have a ceremony another time

Shaunda, on September 9, 2018 at 5:21 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 16
Is it okay to get married on one day and have a ceremony and reception a year or two later to have something nice and planned to show share your love with family and friends and not on the same day you actually got married on? Or is that too much?


16 Comments

Latest activity by Alexandra, on September 11, 2018 at 3:37 PM
  • L
    Super August 2018
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    People on here will say that’s a vow renewal, and I’ve seen discussions where people get really mad about this and what’s wrong and what’s right. IMO, do what works for you. If you’re getting married ahead of time for particular reasons and keeping it quiet, then whatever. I’ve been to weddings where people got married ahead of time, like 6 months or so and it never phased me, I never felt cheated...we had a great time at their wedding and their ceremony was beautiful, but be prepared for some people to fully disagree and knock you for this. Everyone is in a different situation and no one can judge...you do what works for you!

    My only caveat is, if you change your name before your ceremony/wedding, people may be confused.
    • Reply
  • Gabby
    Devoted April 2019
    Gabby ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Like Lisa said it will be vow renewal and alot people will bark.
    But you do as you both need and want to do. Feeling as 1 and wanted to celebrate later whether for finances, business, location is fine. Its your decision dont stop your hearts and your lives
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    VIP August 2018
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I think this is totally fine I've heard of people doing this often.

    • Reply
  • Camille
    Devoted October 2020
    Camille ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    This is a vow renewal. People are so serious about this because it seems to minimize your actual wedding day if you have a courthouse wedding and then think your “actual” wedding is the big party. The original wedding is the real wedding and that’s why people get annoyed on here! I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all with getting married when it works for you and then having a celebration later, but it’s just that - a celebration, not a wedding.
    • Reply
  • Cheryl&rock
    VIP June 2019
    Cheryl&rock ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I see no problem with a vow renewal ceremony with reception to follow later on!!
    It's your life, and your choice!!
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    It’s perfectly acceptable to host a vow renewal after getting married, as long as you’re up front with your guests and make sure that they know it’s just that, a vow renewal.
    • Reply
  • Deirdre
    Super March 2018
    Deirdre ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I think it's totally fine to have a vow renewal and you can treat it like a wedding. You don't have to worry about getting legally married, so you don't need to have any type of officiant, you can just exchange vows to each other. You can still have a BP if you want and a wedding dress. I agree, just make sure everyone knows it's a vow renewal. For me it's not that you "cheat" your guests out of a real wedding, it's just being honest with the people that you care about. I wouldn't recommend pretending that you are not married for a year, so people think you are getting married at your bigger celebration. I think it's wrong to lie to your loved ones, especially about something as life-changing as getting married, but I'm sure people will be excited to celebrate with you even if it's a year after the fact.

    • Reply
  • Malwen107
    VIP October 2018
    Malwen107 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    As a guest I would be confused as to why the event was so far after the fact. Once you're married, you're married, and everything else is just a party. People do get married sooner for their own reasons, and all are valid, but once you get married, you're married. A celebration doesn't change that.

    • Reply
  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I mean you can do whatever you please just know that people are going to have their thoughts/opinions/views on it.

    Your wedding is the day you get married; you're just going to have a reception a year or two later.

    • Reply
  • C
    Super October 2018
    Cassandra ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Hi! I think it is your wedding, you can do whatever you want too. Could you do a small ceremony now then later a reception?
    • Reply
  • BB-H
    VIP September 2018
    BB-H ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    As long as you're honest with your friends and family and not hiding it, I don't see why you can't have a vow renewal and the whole shebang after your wedding.

    • Reply
  • JustKidding
    VIP April 2018
    JustKidding ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    All of this!

    • Reply
  • Annie
    VIP October 2018
    Annie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We're doing this! We went to the courthouse in April 2017 before my husband left for a 13 month deployment, and our having our wedding next month. Everyone was told after the fact; we had no one go with us so then they can't complain that one person was invited while they weren't. We plan on celebrating our Oct date as our anniversary. Who cares what other people think. Do what works best for you, and honestly no one will care that you were married on paper then celebrated later.

    • Reply
  • S
    Savvy April 2019
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    People who get so worked up over this need to find a hobby lol. How ever another person handles their wedding in no way makes yours less or more meaningful. They shouldn't get so annoyed lol.

    Now, I think it's fine. I also don't mind if you tell everyone you are already married or if you keep it hush.

    We personally are doing that. We got married a year ago, but for certain reasons were not able to plan the wedding we wanted. Now next year we have planned a wedding ceremony (symbolic since we are ready married) and a reception. A wedding planned just about a traditional as you can get. It's not a secret to anyone that we are already married and no one seems to have an issue with it. In fact we even have several family members traveling in from other countries. Everyone is happy and excited for us that we can share all together and have this memory. On all the invitations it says "wedding" . I just don't see the big deal. And those that do, then dont do it yourself or don't attend one. Simple! Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    This! We were legally married on 2/16/18 to get him on my insurance and we are having our wedding celebration and reception in Vegas on 10/27/18. Everyone knows that we are legally married. Everyone knows we will still do the ceremony with bridal party and the dress and all of that. The only person who was there at the courthouse with us was my son but that was because he had the day off of school. Not a single person changed their RSVP after we announced we eloped. We sent the invites out before our less than 24 hour notice elopement since we are having a DW and didn't know about save the dates lol. People were confused as heck but super excited that we didn't cancel the Vegas ceremony and reception because they still wanted to celebrate with us. We also will celebrate both anniversaries. Our legal marriage my son refers to a marriagetimes day and our wedding will be the wedding anniversary. I know most people here will say it's just a vow renewal but where his family is from it is actually the norm to get legally married with the state then do the big family ceremony at a later time so his mom was actually really cool with the whole thing

    • Reply
  • Alexandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Alexandra ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Shaunda, I got married last year 9/3/2017 and my big wedding is 9/13/2019 we did this as we wanted to be already married and did not wanted to wait for the big wedding to come around. Vow renewal or not it is still a wedding as we never did vows or anything( not allowed on our county court house) so yes you can definitely do this.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics