Getting legally married before the wedding?

I agree with others to wait as you will have to handle his long deployments. I do feel that getting the license to get married now would be ok as depending on the state you have about 2 months before the ceremony. I would only get the marriage certificate if your wedding was international like mine will be. Fill the month with events with family and girls outings to make it go fast. Plus listen to the military brides as they know more than some of us do about this. I know this may not be what you want to hear but you just being with him (be it legally as his wife or not) is the time you should value and love right now. A month will go fast.

View Quoted Comment So he is deployed... which we've handled. We want to get all moved in as well and start getting our apartment sorted which we need BAH for. So there's a couple other things which kind of contribute to the whole thing

View Quoted Comment We don't have his schedule for when our wedding is planned so we honestly don't know what's going to happen. Theres a chance that a bunch of our guests won't make it because they go into the field and his family aren't sure if they can make the drive. Plus we want to move in when he gets back

View Quoted Comment He's deployed. We already did the whole basic song and dance and there was no way we were jumping the gun and getting married then

View Quoted Comment He's deployed

View Quoted Comment So he's deployed. I've been with him for a couple years now anyway ^^

View Quoted Comment

Based on what you said it does not sounds like it is a big wedding nor do many people plan to show but I may have misinterpreted. Let me ask you think, did you pay and book for a venue? What were your wedding plans? I ask because this close to some places may not refund you.

View Quoted Comment That’s good glad you didn’t jump into anything quickly (although I would still support your choice if you did just as I did with them).

I have to agree with the pro early wedding folks! We're considering doing it so I can get on his health insurance plan. With your fiancee in the military service, you are probably thinking about some similar shared benefits.


I think if you feel it will make your lives easier, then do it! Usually, you go sign the marriage license in a random office with the officiant anyway, so it's not as though you were going to be legally married in front of all of your guests anyway!
The next question is if you acknowledge that you're legal married already at the ceremony or if you act like the ceremony is where the legal real deal is happening. It also wouldn't be inappropriate to just let your parents and immediate community know and then proceed with the ceremony as planned.

After all, your wedding day is just a way for you to bring the people you most love together and throw them a great party for thanking them for what they've done to help you become the person your future spouse chose to spend the rest of their lives with!

View Quoted Comment Ahhh okay. Then I wouldnt be so worried. I'd still think about waiting though. Coming home from deployment is enough of an adventure. Everyone wants to see you. They have things to work out once home. One month wont make a huge difference unless you were needing immediate healthcare.

Do it ASAP

View Quoted Comment Nope no difference. I haven’t seen anyone sign paperwork in front of everyone.

At the end of the day do what makes you happy. You wouldn’t have to wait long but it’s all about what’s going to be the best for you and bring you peace and happiness. Remember why you’re getting married is my advice.

I would wait. We are having a destination wedding in Jamiaca. Since it takes so long to get your official documents and then deal with the hassle of not having a US marriage didnt seem practical. We are doing a private legal ceremony with just his sons (who can't to Jamaica) and then our big event is on the following Tuesday on the beach. Not sure which date to recognize for anniversaries but it will probably be our legal ceremony date. I would love to do everything at once but this is our next best option. Good luck!

We got legally married last year in winter and are now planning our wedding summer next year. I don't see any problem to that. For us (or maybe our culture), wedding and legally married are anyway two different events. This is also the case for most of my friends.

View Quoted Comment

So I don't think I'm following this. Are you already planning a big wedding? Have you sent invitations? Bought a dress? I'm really not understanding the motivation to call yourself married one month sooner if you have already planned a wedding. Are you just upset that not everyone can make it?

View Quoted Comment No mostly BAH, BAS and healthcare plus the fact that we really miss eachother.


A month can make like 1.8k difference in finances for us plus my insurance is up for renewal before the wedding and I'll be without it for a while.
The majority is he's so far away rn and when he gets back we want it all offical so we can move in together and start our life.
We'd still have the wedding wedding but we'd make it legal before then I guess

View Quoted Comment

I totally get the insurance, BAH, and BAS, but I still think you both need to think about it. Maybe give it a week once he's back. You can always go to just get the license together and be excited about that step. I'm not telling you you're making a mistake if you get married at the courthouse, it is your life, but missing him and wanting benefits are not a reason to rush the marriage.

View Quoted Comment Well we're getting the license the day he gets back and we're probably gonna think about it. It doesn't help that we're massively in debt from the wedding as well and need to pay it off somehow

View Quoted Comment

Starting a marriage with debt is never ideal. Some people do get married sooner for benefits, but honestly one month isn't going to make or break the bank even though it would help of course. The bottom line is doing what's best for you for the right reasons. Only you two can answer that, but I think people here want to make sure you consider it all before making any rush decisions.