Getting married at a court house, an having a real wedding in 2012 is it possable?

My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year but just recently we have been trying to get back into our relationship with God. The bible talks a lot about sexual immorality and cohabitation being a sin outside the context of marriage so we know some things need to change. On the one hand we could just move out but that would require a lot of work to separate our stuff (and cats), stress explaining to people why we are doing it, and money finding and paying for new places. On the other hand we could have a courthouse wedding soon and plan for a traditional wedding later. As much as I always wanted a traditional proposal and wedding, we are both in our early 20's and working on degrees so money for engagement rings and wedding dresses is kind of out of the picture. I mean I like the whole idea of eloping in a courthouse but I have very conservative parents and I'm not sure if they will even support the whole idea. We know we are meant to be together and eventually get married so living together didn't seem like a huge idea in the first place but at the same time neither one of us wants to live in sin just because we can't afford a nice wedding right now. It's all very frustrating to be honest... I just don't want it to feel forced or be a kiss of death for us but it IS something both of us want. Any thoughts?

@jessica B, me & my boyfriend are the exact same situation. We live together and are trying to get back in church. We just got engaged & set our date for November 28th but we don't wanna live in sin for that long. Therefore we are going to the courthouse this week & are still having the wedding in November. We are only telling close family/friends that we will already be married prior to the "wedding". We aren't going to be asking for gifts twice or anything so I don't see a problem with it. I would say go for it. Doing it for religious reasons is more important than whatever people think. If you're sure that he's who you want to spend your life with then I would do it. Good luck to you!

I did the same thing last year. My husband is in the army and we knew we were gonna be together and get married he just wanted to help take care of me and it would be more economical on our part due to some health conditions I have. So we did the JOP but since my mom and her side of the family are very traditional I know they would freak out if we told them. So to them were just engaged. I'm just worried that at the wedding ceremony I'm gonna have to come up with some excuse as to why we don't have a marriage license for the officiant to sign. I just wanna cover all my bases with my mom if you know what I mean. Anyone have any ideas on what to do?

I think that on your day, late or not, you can do whatever your heart desires. No one else has to live your life so wedding it up. Wear the white wedding dress, have your tiered wedding cake at where ever you want or can afford. It's a once in a lifetime event. Have your bridal shower. Register for gifts you have not acquired yet. Shame on those who look down on others who did not get their chance. I say go for it ladies!

Sooo...I know I am late to the party...but I'm dealing with this now...

My fiance and I did the same thing. We had a civil ceremony August 9 and are having our religious ceremony on November 11.

Some people are such Bridezillas! Or jealous post-Bridezillas! I read such mean responses across several blogs of how "you are married! You can't get married again! Leave weddings to people who aren't already married!"...duh! that's NOT what I was trying to do. And one person tried to say that what the OP wanted to do was illegal! What?! Unless you are trying to sign 2 marriage certificates, having a separate civil and religious ceremony IS NOT illegal.

So...ladies who are considering this option...you do what is right for you and your fiance/hubby. Don't let the naysayers try to step on your happiness!

Chelsea -

Let your officiant know you are already married. Then you aren't keeping anything from him. Usually the wedding license is signed behind closed doors after the ceremony...so you can tell the important people what happened, and they will probably understand.

Good luck with planning the wedding...hopefully the headaches will be minimal for you...for me, things have popped up that I didn't expect to pop up...so I can't wait until November 12 :0p

I'm so glad I found this thread! My boyfriend is in the airforce and we have been talking about getting married for awhile now but won't be able to afford a wedding for another 2 years. We thought about doing a vow renewal but I don't think people would be as willing to travel to my wedding if they knew we were already married. We don't want to keep that secret for a year but we are thinking it's the best option for us.

We have had 5 people back out last minute to marry us and our wedding is in 3 WEEKS! We have our marriage license but are wondering if we can use that license at the justice of the peace? After that, just have our normal reception? It is in the state of michigan, if anyone knows, please let me know! Been up all night trying to figure out a solution and I'm in my second trimester! I'm having a mental breakdown!!

My fiance and I have been comtemplating this issue for the past few months. We are an older couple and I have college age children living with me. He does not believe in pre-marital cohabitation so we maintain separate residences in a small rural town. My twin sons live at home and go to college in a neighboring city where both my FH and I also work, so it was decided that we should move closer to campus. His parents offered us a substantial sum to purchase a new home there with the stipulatuon that we should not wait almost a year for him to move in with us and suggested that we get married sooner. Not wanting to mess up my taxes for 2017 they recommended we wait until January. We've now decided that we will have our legal ceremony just after midnight on New Year's Eve, which is also the anniversary of my proposal, and have our church ceremony and reception in August. We are still not sure about any type of announcement but are thinking we could use pictures from the New Year's Eve ceremony to create our Save the Date announcements and let people know that way rather than try keeping it a secret and risk hurt feelings.

My fiance and I have been contemplating the same thing. We are an older couple and I have college age children living with me. He does not believe in pre-marital cohabitation so we maintain separate residences in a small rural town. My twins attend college in a neighboring city where both my fiance and I also work so it was decided that we should move closer to campus. His parents offered us a substantial sum to purchase a new home there with the stipulation that he live there sooner than August and suggested that we get married sooner. Not wanting to mess up my taxes for 2017 they recommended we wait until January. We are going to have our legal ceremony just after midnight on New Year's Eve and have our church ceremony in August. We have not decided how to announce it yet but are thinking we could use pictures from the New Year's Eve ceremony to create our Save the Date announcements and let people know that way rather than try keeping it a secret and risk hurt feelings.

Hello,
Should the paper say marriage license or vow renewal. Does anyone have any references for a good place that make and print them for you?

View Quoted Comment I know you replied to this 9 years ago but you have no idea how much peace it has brought me. My H and I literally got married yesterday at the courthouse because of money and other circumstances that need to be cleared up. Absolutely no one knows and I feel so so guilty about this. We are planning for our big wedding in a couple of years and plan on announcing the official wedding plans in a year. Almost feel as though the anxiety of keeping it from everyone was going to make me burst but seeing that someone else has the same idea has truly brought me off the edge. Thank you! I hope your wedding was amazing!

Thank you all for sharing, I really enjoyed getting to connect to some of your feelings on this topic. I eloped and got married at the JOP in 2017 with no family or friends. It was a surprise to them when they found out but we had our reasons. We plan on having a wedding/vow renewal for our 5 year wedding anniversary which will happen to fall on our 10 year dating anniversary. My question is how do you recommend going about invitations specifically with the wording for that if we are already married?

View Quoted Comment What did you do in regards to marriage certificate? I’m in the same dilemma.

Hello everyone,

I need some help please... My husband and I got married 12-23-15 at an old friend of mines tattoo shop so we didn't get to have a wedding. So my question is since we want to renew our vows and actually have a wedding with family and friends can I? And can we choose like a summer month or fall month to do the wedding?

I actually doing that also for the same reason ins. Is it okay? We are having are wedding 8 months later . I want to tell my kids tomorrow at dinner do you have any ideas you can throw my way ?? Thanks