Getting married in a Baptist church

Have you asked them yet if you can get married there?

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If you’re not comfortable with the church I wouldn't get married there. Have you thought about other venues?

Yes, they said that we can get married there and have to do the pre-marital counseling and address the “issues”. And I am comfortable there, I think it’s just the anxiety of the other things that is worrying me.

A church shouldn't make you feel anxious nor should it refuse to allow someone to become a member based on their living with another person. It sounds to me like you don't really feel comfortable there. There are lots of welcoming, affirming churches who will love you and your fiance for who you are and let you both become members without "frowning upon" you living together. You have over a year, and most churches don't book up for weddings that early (esp. non-Catholic), so I suggest finding a new one. I'm United Methodist but also look at Episcopal, Presbyterian, Lutheran, and American Baptist. I would never go through premarital counseling with a pastor who fundamentally disagreed with my choice to live with my SO before marriage. The counseling likely won't focus on providing helpful tools for you two to address issued but will only be a platform for him to lecture you on your sinful life.

I would speak with the pastor about it privately. My fiancé and I are getting married in a Baptist church but our pastor is still marrying us.

View Quoted Comment You insist that people ought to find “affirming” churches, yet it is by no means the role of a church to “affirm” us. On the contrary indeed—it is the role of the church to will *our* affirmation of *God*. It is the role of the church to preach the scriptures, to uphold its community to the doctrines set forth to us therein, and to BE the living bridegroom to Christ—thus it should come as no surprise when a church asks that its members be committed to living a lifestyle devoted to Christ and maintaining the Word of God. Remember that not a single one of us is worthy of God’s grace, but because of Christ’s love for us—because of his sacrifice—we may all be redeemed. None of us is in a state of deserving affirmation, as we are in a constant state of sin—therefore NO ONE should be going to church for “affirmation”…we should be going to church to give thanks and praise to God, to support fellow Christians in their glorification of Him, and to join hands with fellow Christians in our path to live more like Christ and following His Word.