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Just Said Yes February 2022

Getting Married in a Place You Dont Love

Hannah, on May 22, 2021 at 8:48 AM Posted in Planning 0 14
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My fiancé is from Florida, and I’m from Kansas. My fiancé is 27 but his dad is 92. Yes you read that right. So the concern is getting him on a plane to come to our wedding. They said they could do it, but we’re afraid he would be exhausted, and moody. He moves around and is very healthy for 90, but no one has a crystal ball to know how he will be come wedding time. So the plan is to get married in Florida. But having a beachy vibe, hot, Florida wedding was always exactly what I didn’t want. All of the venues in the area around where they live (and easy for guests to fly into) are just not my style at all. Of course since everyone thinks Florida is the greatest thing since sliced bread, my FI, some of the guests we asked, and both sets of parents want it there. I am also concerned that most of my people won’t go because of the expense. People say they will but when they realize how much it is to fly, get a hotel, rent a car or Uber on top of gifting us something, I don’t think we can just count on many to come. My family is footing practically the whole bill, so it’s frustrating me that we will likely be paying for his whole crowd and just my immediate family. I’m not excited to have my parents pay $15,18,20K for a wedding that is just not what I love. It is also crazy that we would plan a wedding to be in the location that the least amount of our guests are from. We just found my absolute dream venue in Kansas City (lots of trees and greens that make for gorgeous photos, a gazebo, an all wood floor and everything is white, chandeliers)- the complete opposite of what venues are in Florida.


It sucks that the rhetoric around weddings is to do whatever you want because it’s your day but that really isn’t the case. Am I crazy? Anyone had a similar situation or suggestions?

14 Comments

Latest activity by Natalie, on May 23, 2021 at 12:58 PM
  • Sharonda
    Super January 2021
    Sharonda ·
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    I’m from Florida and I’m sure you can find the vibe you want. Florida is not all beach and palm trees. North Florida is very different from Central Florida and they are very different from South Florida. In fact, I’m from North Florida which is more pine trees and rolling hills and the beach is 2 hours away. What area are you thinking about having the wedding in and what vibe are you going for?
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  • H
    Just Said Yes February 2022
    Hannah ·
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    St Petersburg is where they are from. Our parents don’t want to go too far from Tampa since for the convenience of guests flying in. But they also believe guests will want to stay on the beachside, but they don’t like Clearwater. So that is leaving St Pete, Sarasota and I’m not sure what else. We’re looking at a place in Dunedin but it’s going to be a hard sell. The vibe I’m looking for is a clean and classic. Thanks for your help!!


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  • Sharonda
    Super January 2021
    Sharonda ·
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    You’re welcome. I lived in the Tampa area for a few years. You don’t have to plan your wedding based on where guests will want to stay. It’s your day ... they will stay wherever — and if they want to stay at the beach they can regardless of where your venue is ... they just might have a drive to the venue.

    I would recommend Brandon or Lakeland ... a little farther inland east, but about 30 minutes from Tampa. Those towns might offer some venues with the vibes you want.

    Also, Orlando is about an hour from Tampa. It’s not all Disney World and theme parks either. Guests could fly into the Orlando airport and there are gorgeous venues around the city or on the outskirts that offer all types of different vibes. Just another thought.
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  • C
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    It looks like you’re getting married in September 2022. I don’t want to be morbid, but there’s a good chance his dad isn’t around by then. Now you can find a more delicate way to approach that with FH but no I don’t think you should plan a wedding you don’t love around this one person.
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  • Catherine
    Expert March 2023
    Catherine ·
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    Sarasota is absolutely beautiful! Maybe if you plan a March of April wedding, when I usually go to Sarasota, you could have a good time. Plus it’s close to Disney for your guests. You could absolutely find a beautiful botanical garden in Florida that is your vibe and it isn’t be too hot in those months.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    It sounds like part of the issue is the fact that your parents are paying for the wedding so they seem to think they are entitled to decide where the wedding should be. While I do think it is probably easiest on your FFIL to have it in Florida, it shouldn't be limited to one specific area. The fact that a town is a hard sell tells me that your parents won't be happy unless they have their way. I would kindly decline their help and pay for the wedding yourself and have it where you want while still keeping your FFIL in mind.

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  • H
    Just Said Yes February 2022
    Hannah ·
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    Date is actually a random date I put for the profile. So it could be much sooner than then.. but yes, something to keep in mind.
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  • Emily
    Devoted June 2021
    Emily ·
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    I used to work in Spring Hill and it’s pretty there and inland from the coast! Funny we were thinking that same general area!
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  • Sharonda
    Super January 2021
    Sharonda ·
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    Great minds think alike!! 😊
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  • Jess
    Devoted January 2022
    Jess ·
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    I am from Florida and getting married in Orlando. There are venues far from the beach area that look beautiful and ballrooms that you can decorate to your liking if they allow it Smiley smile
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  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    Have you looked at places like the Don Cesar? I know the Don at least has multiple wedding spaces, some of which aren't beachy at all (even though it is on the beach and they do beach weddings). I'm sure there are other hotels/resorts in the Tampa/St. Pete area that have similar accommodation, if you don't like the Don.

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  • KYLIE
    Super May 2019
    KYLIE ·
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    Not that their opinion should matter at all, but why don’t either set of parents want the wedding in Clearwater? We were recently there on vacation and saw some gorgeous hotel resorts that I know have sleek, modern ballrooms. Beachy wedding not necessary, but the area was just gorgeous.


    I also super recommend Orlando, which is not far from the Tampa area, has a major airport and every level of accommodation to fit any budget. We got married there and had a distinctly un-beachy wedding. We looked at photos of tons of venues and many of them could fit the vibe you’re looking for.
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    I’m not in that situation, but Florida is pretty large. So, I imagine there would still be other options you will like for September 2022 (even if it’s a little drive away). I say that because we live in San Diego (same thing here about people thinking it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread too 😂). But, as lovely as it is, I didn’t want my wedding here. So we planned a destination wedding in Vegas for 2.5 years (because of postponing). Well about 3 weeks ago I suggested that we scrap all those plans, stay local and have a beach wedding. So with only 6 months to go, there were still options available here in San Diego and we booked the perfect one right away (without needing to change out date either).


    However in your situation, I think the concern about your parents paying and your family (possibly) not attending is hindering you from seeing any venue in Florida as being worthy. So, perhaps you look outside of the area where they live. That seems like a doable compromise. Hope it all works out!
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  • Natalie
    Devoted January 2022
    Natalie ·
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    Just want to say, you don't have to have a beachy wedding just because you're in Florida! It's one of the biggest states and there are all kinds of towns and vibes...like look at St Augustine, which looks very European/Spanish in its architecture. And then there are many places in the middle that like like any suburban area in America, just flatter and maybe more palm trees lol. They also have venues that are like botanical gardens, castles, lodges, etc if you look deeper.

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