Gift of money

Hey there! I’m doing the same thing, we don’t want gifts because we live currently in a tiny apt and just wanted cash too!
So we didn’t register anywhere, we are just letting it known that we will have a card box.
I’ve had people ask what we need and I politely say we don’t need anything, but we are thinking about moving in the future and have everything we need. I told family and close friends (who I am comfortable with) that we just want cash as it would help in whatever endeavors we have after the wedding. And not for nothing, most weddings I’ve been to recently didn’t have a registry either, and we assumed before going to the wedding we would be throwing some money in an envelope anyway, as it’s easiest for the newlywed couple in my opinion!

I would say something to the effect of, "In lieu of a registry, the couple would be happy to accept monetary gifts as they take the next step in their life together". Polite but to the point

You should never ask for gifts, but especially not money in the middle of a pandemic when people are losing their jobs. People will ask what you want if they want to know. Otherwise, skip the registry and guests will default to cash or check gifts. Everyone knows cash is a good gift without being told.

View Quoted Comment Exactly!!!

I was thinking about this for my own wedding in either the 4 years or sooner since we wish to move up the wedding. We have also started our own nest and have all the toasters and whatnot - I found this lovely website it gives some good advise.

https://cakeandlace.com/ask-for-money-instead-of-gifts/

View Quoted Comment Your totally right. I've only been to 2 weddings in the past 10 years probably. And both were an older aunt and uncle. I just gave money cuz I knew they had everything.

Just don’t register— people will know to give cash.


However, there will always at least one guest who doesn’t like to give money as a gift so be prepared to get something random.

We have a lot of people who do not like gifting cash, so we did a small registry with little on it. On our website under "Registry Information" I wrote "If you're thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way, a gift of
cash towards our future would really make our day. If you would prefer
to give a more traditional gift, we do have a registry or you are
welcome to surprise us in your own way. Please remember that your
presence at our celebration is the greatest gift of all!"

Hope that helps!

The easiest thing to do is to not have a registry. If people ask just say, “we didn’t register anywhere,” and leave it that. No need to explain why.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with others that even/especially in a pandemic there is no "polite" way to do this. If it were me, I would let people know about the ceremony changes/video stream, but say NOTHING about any type of gift. (That advice is the same regardless of the wedding circumstances.) Those who want and/or are in a position to send a gift will either do what they want (which many will do even if you say, "we just want money") or ask you or a family member about your preferences. If someone asks directly, it's fine to say something like, "with the upcoming move, we don't really need any physical gifts." They'll figure it out from there. (And while there are those who "ask for money for a honeymoon," there are still a lot of potential guests who find that really impolite, too.) Good luck! I know these are tough and unusual times, especially to plan a wedding, but I also think some guests might be even more sensitive than they would normally be to behavior they might perceive as rude or insensitive because of the circumstances.

I agree with everyone who says not to ask for money for a variety of reasons.

But I wanted to address this in your OP: "I mean most people ask for money for their honeymoon.....and we're not having one." This definitely doesn't work as a justification for asking money because it's just not true. Most people don't ask for money, whether for their honeymoon or otherwise.

Many people, however, DO gift money for weddings (which is why you don't need to ask for it) and you can spend the money you receive in any way you want. For a honeymoon, for moving expenses, for household furnishing, for student debt...that's the beauty of money.

I agree that you shouldn't ask anyone for money. We did a register, but that's mostly for a bridal shower and if people want to get us something. I would never ask or expect someone to give me money for a honeymoon or moving as that is just rude.

You could call it your Wishing Well. - There are several cute ways to word it on pinterest.

There is never any polite way to ask for cash. You cannot dictate that guests bring cash, gifts, no gifts, cards, no cards, etc. Accept what they give give you graciously and promptly send out thank you notes.

If your having a shower, make sure you have registry. Once it’s done close it. We’re an older couple and one of my friends asked where we were registered. Ugh really? I told her we’re trying to downsize. So in your case, if people ask, tell them your plans and that you plan on starting your official household later after you move. Hopefully they get the hint. Or honeymoon fund, first house find, etc. I

I'd just put it out there to people who ask.

Here is a great article with some very good advice and it's a reputable site, so i would definitely trust this advice! https://www.brides.com/story/how-to-ask-for-cash-for-wedding-gifts

It is never acceptable to ask for money, to create a honeyfund, to have a wishing well, etc. It implies that people owe you a gift in return for their invite, and it's tacky. That used to be much clearer on this site.


One acceptable way to turn down physical gifts is to specify politely that you don't want gifts because of the upcoming move. Also, guests have a year to send a gift so you could always note the move and register anyway, asking guests who want to send a gift to postpone purchase. At that point, many people will just opt for cash.