Gifts.

Engagement parties are always optional and many couples don’t have them. Don’t feel pressured to give a gift and if you do, keep it on the lower end of the price spectrum: $25 is gracious.


The registry is for the shower and the wedding day. Many people on WeddingWire don’t give physical gifts and say to bring money to everything, while other social circles don’t give cash for any occasion. But you need to work with your budget and the customs of your social circle. Only select guests are invited to the shower, some will purchase 2 or more physical gifts from the registry for both events and others will only give one physical shower gift.

The bachelorette party doesn’t require a gift but it is common to cover your own bill plus contribute to the bride’s bill. Talk to the hostesses to find out. It is common on WeddingWire but not the majority of real life in most social circles to have super expensive elaborate destination weekend sleepovers that require plane tickets and lodging on top of the typical expenses. These have their own drawbacks beyond financial. The local one night out that people are accustomed to is considered taboo, boring, cheap. But physical gifts are never required while money to cover expenses is. Not everyone can afford that because part of the bridesmaids hosting is to cover all expenses so it’s not the responsibility of guests.

Some of this will depend on your social circle and financial circumstances.


Engagement: I think a small gift is a nice gesture, but totally unnecessary. A bottle of wine or champagne is a perfect option.
Shower: this is what the registry is intended for. I would suggest getting a gift off her registry for the shower and that is your wedding gift. In my friend group people get a registry gift for the shower and a check/cash for the wedding. Doing both is not necessary, or common in most groups (I think).
Bach party: technically it’s not required but this is where the brides personality and expectations will really determine your answer. You don’t “have” to and most people do not care if you can’t attend but I’ve seen many brides on this forum very angry at their bridesmaids for not going to the Bach party.

Hi Jaimie! Here's what I usually do:

Engagement Party: Give a small gift like a nice bottle of champagne or a ring dish!

Bridal Shower: Give a physical gift off of the wedding registry!

Bachelorette Party: No gifts needed!

And here are some fun engagement gift ideas:

30 Engagement Gifts to Buy for Your Best Friend (or Yourself)

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Thank you all so much. I am actually the one in my friend group that was tapped for bridesmaids that is responsible for coordinating the more uh...social awkward members of our group. While this does not make me the Maid of Honor (thank god) having an answer for the other bridesmaids that seem to expect me to know the answer to this stuff is hard. The guidance is helpful.

I should have stated also that this is not a destination wedding, she is from a small town in Texas (which is the state we all reside within 45 mins of her place) and is using the town renowned event hall for her wedding. No clue about the Bach party yet. It is still almost a year ahead and given that the bride herself has a job that keeps her from being able to take more than a week off and that most of her bridesmaids are either in college attending classes or teaching students. I don't foresee an out-of-town bach. While I am fairly decently well off while one member of the bridal party struggles to do much financial. I just didn't want to go too far and set up an expectation that my fellow bridesmaids could not financially keep up with. The bride is also far more understanding than some of the brides I have seen on here, so for the larger gift, we were all just thinking of going slipsy on something big in her registry.