Girlfriend is fighting with her best friends but wants them included in our engagement

This story sounds a bit off. Did she recently tell her besties the truth about her orientation? If they are best friends, I’m assuming they knew she preferred Sam sex relationships. Why are they unsupportive now?

If they are homophobic and don' approve of same sex relationships, they are not her friends. I don't know what amongst other things are, but I don't understand why a prior conversation needs to be had here. If they don't support both you and your gf and are not excited for you as a couple, then they don't deserve to be part of this milestone.

View Quoted Comment

So we have all had mutual friends for about 10 years, I just somehow never was there when my girlfriend was there. We were like the last 2 to not meet and then once we finally did, we hit it off immediately. They were wishy/washy about it from the get-go. They very much make it seem like it's just a phase for her, like our relationship isn't serious, which is still odd to me because we have been dating for 2 years. They aren't the most supportive friends just in general. They also don't like when my girlfriend talks about settling down. They've told her that she's getting "boring" and they want her to come out more.

View Quoted Comment

That's exactly how I feel. I am trying to understand the feelings of my girlfriend and recognize how disappointed she is in them, which I know takes time to get over. But at the end of the day, it has to be about her and I.

Carlye,

Two of your sentences 100% have your answer:

1. They both were not exactly supportive of her being in a same-sex relationship

2. But at the end of the day, it has to be about her and I.

If they were her friends, they would not be fighting over her orientation. They do not love her like they claim to, or have claimed to in the past. Move forward with your engagement without them. I would not encourage you to include two people who don't respect you, as this engagement is for you as well! To be honest, if they're fighting over your fiances orientation, this WILL happen again.

If this upsets your fiance-to-be, I would gently explain to her what it seems like you already know: this behavior is toxic and damaging and she deserves better!

If the strife in the friendship is coming because of her relationship with you, then indeed they are not friends. This will continue to be an issue, and who wants that? Honestly, I'd have a big talk with your girlfriend about all of this, even if you have to forgo the surprise part of the engagement. I'm not sure she's being realistic about the chances that these friendships will be OK after all of this. To answer your question, her "friends" definitely don't need to know of the plans ahead of time, that's giving them too much power here.