Giving myself away?

You don't have to include that part in the ceremony if you don't like it.

No, you do not need to be "given away." Most ceremonies don't even include that language anymore. Even if you have someone walk you down the aisle, they are merely escorting you down, not giving you away like a piece of property.

I personally chose to walk down the aisle alone as a symbolic move that I'm an independent woman confident in my choice of partner.

View Quoted Comment That sounds so cool. Cause it's not like I hate that part of the ceremony I just want people to realize this is my decision and that I can't be given

I'm walking down my own. Father and I are not close, he isn't even getting a invitation. I love the independent feeling of walking down myself.

Of course not!
i walked with both my parents and hugged them and showed them to their seats. There was no giving away.

Your story sounds very similar to mine. I don’t get along great with my father, I’m not even sure my parents will be coming to our wedding as they don’t approve of me getting divorced (from a horrible person mind you) years ago. It’s a long story.

But, I’m still inviting them and part of me felt like I should ask him to give me away. But the more I thought about it, the less I wanted that. Then I was trying to think of someone else who could give me away. I have a few options, but then I asked myself the same question, “Do I need anyone to give me away?”.

I moved to London by myself when I was 21. I moved back to NJ 5 years later. Then almost 3 years ago I moved cross country to California by myself.

I decided, two things. One, it’s an old tradition and there is no rule that says you need someone to give you away. Two, I am more than qualified to give myself away. So that’s what I’m doing. I played through all of the different scenarios in my head, and the only one I feel comfortable with is the one where I have a few moments by myself before I walk down the aisle on my own to start my new life together with my FH.

But you should take some time to think about the different options you have and play through them in your mind. Go with the one you feel best about. It took me 2 months of thinking about it daily to decide. But I’m definitely glad I’m not being swayed by tradition with my decision.

Good luck with your decision making. It’s not an easy one to make but I’m sure you’ll make the right one for you!

No way, it's totally up to you if you want to do it or not!

My FH and I have been living together for 8 years now and have 3 kids but I'm still having my dad walk me down but I'm close to him and i feel like it will be a special thing to do, I don't feel like he's "giving me away". It's just what I want to do.

You do what you want. I know lots of people have gone by themselves or have had other people do it. It's not necessary.

I totally agree and feel the same. I am over 40 with 4 kids 2 of which r grown. No father in my life. My oldest son is 24 and a father himself and my other son is 16. I dont want them to GIVE me away cause im not goin anywhere, im always gonna be their Mama. So I think im going to walk myself.

Absolutely not, you can have it however you are comfortable with.
Both my parents are walking me down the aisle as I have a good relationship with both, and instead of ‘giving me away’, the officiant is simply asking ‘who blesses the union of these two’. I’ve seen ones where older children walk the bride down and the officiant asks ‘who supports...’., and other similar phrases that don’t have to deal with the women being ‘given away’.

I am walking with my dad, but the officiant won't ask the "who gives this woman?" question. He'll just walk me down, give me a hug or peck on the cheek, and take his seat. We aren't super close, but we do have a good relationship, and it means a lot to him.

You should do whatever makes you happy. Brides are choosing to give themselves away these days.

I am in a very similar situation with my father, we do not get along at all. I am not doing any of the traditional things that are father/daughter things, but he will hopefully be there. My father doesn't know that these are my wishes yet. So I am unsure how he will react, he has a short fuse and may blow it out of proportion and not come at all. But I have decided I want to walk myself down the aisle. So long story short you don't need to be given away, I am giving myself away..

I’m taking the stroll on my own! No father daughter dance either! Just me and wedded bliss!!

I’m not a fan at ALL of the whole “giving away” thing. I find it archaic and sexist, myself. I am omitting all of that from my ceremony, totally unnecessary!

YOUR wedding = YOUR rules.

No, you don't have to do that.

If that's not what you want then why do it on your special day?

I walked by myself, it was the one thing I wouldn't compromise on (even though H and I fought about it more than once). My dad and I just aren't close and, like you, I've lived on my own since I was 17 so it didn't feel right to do anything but walk alone. We had an intimate DW with no wedding party so I really wanted the day and ceremony to just be about me and my husband.

So this is interesting to me. I’ve been with my FH for 12 yrs now and this is the most constant and consistent time my dad has been in my life. He’s a great grandfather to my son. My mother gave us the stone from her mother’s ring so FH had her approval and I told him my dad would love to be asked but it wasn’t necessary. Assuming my dad I’d coming to our DW I plan to have my dad & brother walk me down the isle bc my brother was the constant man in my life and my dad bc he’s stepped up in my life finally.

My officiant actually had a great idea for this one I just have to share! Just for background I will be walking by myself.
Our officiant will say something along the lines of:

X and X didn't get here all by themselves. They have been loved and cared for by you, their families, and friends. Without you, this day would not be possible.
With this in mind, I ask all family and friends in attendance will you take this happy into your family and into your hearts? Please say I will.

Then hopefully everyone will say I will.

This may not be his exact words I'm going from memory here but I thought this was a great suggestion. We are definitely not the traditional type and love that it gets everyones attention.

My Dad passed away almost 7 years ago and this decision was tough for me. My Dad and I were super close, I'm still upset that he won't be there, but at least he was able to meet my FH. He really liked my FH. I almost decided to walk down by myself, then thought it would be cute if we did the uniting of the 2 families in a way. My FH is walking down with his Mother and my Mum, and I'm walking down with FH's Dad and my Godfather (the person my Dad asked me to be my Godfather, whom he really liked.). I have some pictures of my Dad that will hang from my bouquet.

View Quoted Comment That is so beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss. My step dad was like how you and your dad were, he was the one I really wanted to walk me down because even when my father decided to pop up and disappoint me again, my daddy would always be my Yondu (guardians of the galaxy thing, he was a big nerd too lol). He hated every single guy I dated until I brought my fh home and he said "I like that boy mama, he's the one for our baby"