Going to bachelorette party as a married woman?

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I'm hoping this is sarcasm or humor that wasn't conveyed through text.

Why would it be okay to have your own bachelor/bachelorette party right before getting married, but not okay to attend someone else's after you're married? Rules about being monogamous don't change once the relationship upgrades from being an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend, to being engaged, to being married.

My fiancé and I are the first to get married in our close friend groups. He's gone to a bachelor party last year in Vegas where the bachelor wanted full nude strippers. He's in a committed relationship with me, so he didn't feel comfortable participating and getting a lap dance. He sat there and chatted with his buddies and while drinking. When our other friends get engaged in the future, we WILL be attending their bachelor and bachelorette parties. We respect and trust each other to remain faithful to our relationship. You can attend a party without cheating, and not all bachelor and bachelorette parties are these super sexualized parties you see in movies.

I totally agree with you David. Its about respect. When you got married you had vows. If it's your soulmate. Which most people consider their significant other. That means God first significant other second. Your friends last. I'm sorry I love my friends but my friends don't pay my bills or live my life. My wife does. I tell my wife everything. She's my other half. If you aren't willing to do that and respect each other. Trust and everything else will go down the drain and you shouldn't be married in the first place. All your doing asking them. Why keep it a secret. If you can't tell them. That means there's something wrong in your relationship. That needs to be fixed first. Period. How would you feel if your husband goes on a part like that and don't tell you. You find out. I guarantee you. You will be asking all kinds of questions! And raising hell.

Ask the husband instead of strangers.

View Quoted Comment Yes I couldn’t agree more. Ask the person who means most to you. How can a woman give advice to strangers like that? “It’s ok for you in your marriage to attend a bachelorette party “. Really? And when it causes a big rift in their marriage, are you prepared to fix it? Obviously not.

View Quoted Comment You’re assuming that the party will involve sex with strippers. That’s not always the case. If the party is stripper-free, I see no harm.


However, to your point, I have heard many stories of bachelorette parties turning into sex parties. So...

View Quoted Comment Mrs. Whoooo, I just read this now. It was already said that it has NOTHING to do with “trust”. Maybe the SO isn’t comfortable with his girl attending something like that......is that ok with you? Is her SO allowed to be uncomfortable with a near naked man dancing sensually for his girl (this is the part where you jump in and claim it’s all about fun and you spend the whole time laughing....yeah sure). Men & women should speak to their significant others and see how THEY feel. If you want to let her know how it works in your particular relationship then that’s fine, but to sit there and make value judgments on other relationships is just going to cause problems for THEM that YOU can’t fix. I’ve read so many posts on here where women are crying that their SO went to a strip club...not one woman mentioned trust. It’s about respect and your partner’s comfort level, not about what a stranger thinks or feels.

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I strongly agree with you, David. I looked this up because I am faced with this situation now. I caught my wife of 6 1/2 years telling her daughter that she would go if she was directly invited (without checking with me at all) I'm not controlling at all but, she has been caught cheating with her baby's father and other guys over the years. I do well with controlling my trust issues with her however, I felt totally disrespected when I heard how willing she was to overlook me when making the decision. She's 7 years older than me with 5 kids and 3 grandkids. I've been an active grandfather since I was 31 and have always stepped up to the plate without complaining and the thought of being considered the insignificant other is completely outrageous. I feel disrespected and like walking out because after all her expectations I've meet and bullsh!t I've accepted while dealing with her, I have earned my respect.