Grandmother not on board

Why can't you uninvited her?

My grandmother isn’t invited. Not a chance in hell. I don’t even want to invite my sister, Just because they’re family doesn’t mean they need to be invited.

If she’s made derogatory comments, why allow that to possibly affect your wedding?<

I think that would cause a lot of family drama that I don't want to deal with, also I'm pretty sure that would effectively end the relationship I have with her (which when it comes down to it I don't want to do because she's the only grandparent I have left) and also she lives with my mom so it'd be awkward to go home to visit.

Oh yes you can to uninvite her!!! Your wedding should be a group of family and friends who support your relationship and come specifically to give their blessing and celebrate the union with you. Any disrespect or negativity can take a hike. and that includes granny!

I wish I could tell her to take a hike lol. Got several choice words for her that I don't have the guts to say to her face.

Why can you not remove her from the guest list? Just because she's your grandmother doesn't mean she has to be invited.

I guess in addition to the family drama thing I've learned from WW that you can't uninvite people? Not that the invitations have gone out or anything but I'm 100% sure it's assumed by everyone she's going. Maybe this is a special circumstance.

FH proposed to me whilst we were away travelling. On our return my grandmother asked if he had just proposed with a piece of string, as "he couldn't possibly have planned this and got a ring." She's not invited to the wedding.

My grandmother is the only grandparent I have, you couldn’t pay me enough to invite her. I’m perfectly content with any relationship with her ending. I do not speak to her now as it is. I’ve tried to make amends with her several times to no avail, thus I don’t want her at my wedding.

I’m sure my extended family thinks she’ll be invited, no issues not inviting her.

@Jaime-Leigh - if you sent a STD, it is generally expected that you would then send an invite - HOWEVER - if she doesn't support the marriage/wedding, then there is no need to invite her - especially if she's just going to be mean and nasty

You know what really pisses me off too is in that conversation she goes, "Well I guess I'm just old-fashioned" EXCEPT 2 of my cousins got pregnant accidentally without being married, 1 broke up with the mother the other married the father but not for another 2 years, and she was 100% on board with that. She was excited to have great-grandchildren, even. That's not exactly "old-fashioned"

To be clear I'm NOT saying that's a bad situation or wrong in any way, just that I don't get why she's cool with that but not this?

Was that a while back? (I only ask because as she gets older my grandma seems to be becoming more old-fashioned, so maybe that's the issue?)

Yeah a bit, the first child was born in... I wanna say 2011? The second 3 years ago. Maybe she is just getting more ornery as time goes by.

Still doesn't mean she needs to be invited - you don't want someone there who's going to bring your day down

I hate to be forward but please do not invite her. Please! You are asking for drama at your wedding. You want to be comfortable and stress free. Not uncomfortable and embarrassed by things that she WILL say at the wedding. I understand that she is your Grandmother and under normal circumstances, I would opt to have her there. However, unless she apologizes and acts like she has respect for you and your relationship, she should not be invited. It's already very stressful to have a wedding. It's even more stressful when you have to be threatened by drama from your Grandma on your wedding day and possibly destroy your wedding. Think about it and speak to your Fiance as well. Good luck to you in whatever you chose.

I wouldn't invite her. You should be able to enjoy your day with your FH and not have to worry about more rude comments being made day of. We also have a few family members we aren't inviting. Sometimes it's better off that way.

FH's grandmother is awful, I wish I could get away with uninviting her. His father told us we didn't have to after a particularly terrible display of behavior but then later went back on that. I don't want her there, but I have to allow it so we don't upset his parents. I think in your case you have the green light to leave her off the guest list, I would take it!

That's a rough situation. I'm sorry that your family is not being supportive. I can defiantly understand the pressure that you feel to invite her, and think it's ultimately up to you what to do. Sometimes older generations have a hard tone understanding younger generations' lifestyle changes. Just because you're doing something different from what she did doesn't mean it's any less valid, meaningful, or symbolic. I would agree with you that this doesn't seem like something to end your relationship with your only living grandparent. I work with older adults on a daily basis, as sinuses you just have to have a thick skin and understand that these kind of statements are just them having trouble adjusting to differences.

@Elite and @Christine, that's exactly what I was thinking... even if she never says any of this to my face is she going to voice her opinion to anyone who will listen at the wedding? Particularly FH family? Ugh.

Thank you to everyone for your support. Everyone on here is so wonderful. I have to leave for an appointment but I'll be back... I don't want anyone to think I abandoned the post.