Grandmother not on board

It's a heartbreaking situation, but I think it's a personal decision, and the last thing you should consider is the aftermath from family. This is something you have to do for you. It sounds like YOU already know what YOU want. I've learned a bit about social and relationship issues in my 46 years on this weird planet. I find that an insensitive comment that hurts your feelings, you can forgive and forget. But when it turns manipulative and malicious, people have to realize there may be no coming back from what they've done to people. And they may face social reckoning, either way, not the problem of the victim, which in this case is you. But you only continue that if you let her come and in essence, letting her continue her behavior. I'd NOT invite her, for ME, let the chips fall where they may. Sometimes no is no, with no room for debate.

Yeah make a do not invite list and put that lady at the top. If she feels you shouldn't have a wedding then don't bother her with an invite.

ETA I think it's safe to assume this women has a sense of entitlement because she says whatever she wants and thinks she would still be invited. I'd go out of my way to prove her wrong.

No problem. I wish you a happy wedding and again, speak to your FH. This is a decision that you guys should make together but I personally would not want to risk her ruing the wedding. Peace and blessings lady

Granny can kick rocks. The whole idea behind inviting someone to your wedding is that they've been there for you and supported your relationship. Inviting her after her making these comments is counterintuitive.

Wait. Your mom lives with your grandmother and yet she's saying don't invite her? That seems quite odd to me. Do they get along normally?

I get your reasons for not inviting her, though.

I don't even speak to my grandmother. When she finally found out I was engaged she called my sister trying to find out details. She refused to speak with her too. Some grandmas just are better kept at a distance. At least mine is.

Just cuz someone is family doesn't mean they can say whatever they want. She was rude and clearly doesn't support your relationship, why let her know it's ok and keep her on the guest list?

Why can you remove her?