Grief and spreadsheets

I had to do this with my uncle. I had already written the save the date and had to change it to just his wife. I gave the family time before sending the invites but It does feel weird just deleting someone or erasing their name. I felt like I was uninviting them. It adds more pain to something already painful.

I'm sorry for your loss. Not wedding related, but I remember after my dad died, I refused to delete his phone number. I ended up losing it when my phone broke, but it's three and a half years later and he's still my friend on Facebook. I know deleting names doesn't erase that person from your life, but it can feel that way sometimes.

I ha en't lost people off my guest list but phone contacts are another thing. I lost a grandmother and a father figure within 9 days of each other. Both of their numbers are still in my phone after 2.5 years.

I have not, but I am so sorry you are going through this. I can only imagine how heart breaking it is.

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry for your loss. I agree, the act of removing their name is tough

I had to do this with my FH's grandfather (my FH doesn't have a relationship with his father and was extremely close with his grandfather) and I cried like a baby. His passing was also extremely sudden and unexpected so no one got to see him or say goodbye. It was seriously gut wrenching when I had to delete his name from my spreadsheets and not send him an invite.

View Quoted Comment I agree. There are several numbers on my phone that I haven’t deleted for that reason. The nice thing is you can keep them there. With the wedding stuff you do have to delete it for organization purposes.


hank you for sharing

View Quoted Comment 💚💚💚 my heart goes out to y’all. It’s tough

View Quoted Comment That’s so hard. I hear you on the phone thing. No reason to delete them, and doing so is too painful. 💚

I'm so sorry, Katherine. Between me and my DH we had to remove four of our grandparents from our guest list spreadsheet, that was really hard. The grandmothers hadn't been well for a very long time but my grandfather was a shock, and very close to our wedding day. I had wanted my grandfather to walk with my mother just before the ceremony procession and it was really really hard choosing someone else to escort her. He had been really excited about my wedding and loved my DH so that was just one extra thing on top of how hard those losses already were.

I'm thinking of you, Katherine, and everyone else who shared here.

We actually had to do this just yesterday. The husband of my mom's best friend passed away on Wednesday. They've been friends for over 40 years, but they've never lived close, so I don't know them all that well. It was still weird and a bit eerie removing someone from my guest list for that reason. Hopefully that's the first and last that we'll have to remove.

Yes. We sent my aunt a save the date knowing she probably would not be healthy enough to make it to our August wedding. And then she passed a few weeks ago. I just updated our invite spreadsheet to remove her name, and it really hurt. I’m sorry you’re also going through this.

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Oh Jo, that sounds excruciating. Thank you for sharing and for your kind words.

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I hope it's the last one as well. I haven't had the heart to remove the name of my cousin yet. For the one a couple months ago my dad did it for me in a couple places, which was kind of him.

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My heart goes out to you. We had one person we had to remove before the save the dates went out. The other was sick and I'd lost her address, so I still have her invitation at home, waiting to be addressed. I was going to wait until she got back from the hospital to ask for her address again. I'm sorry you are going through this as well.

I had a friend pass away suddenly, and I cant remove her from my guest list. Its still too fresh.

View Quoted Comment It sucks so much. I’m sorry for your loss

Yes I had to go through this right when my great grandma passed away literally two months before I sent out our invitations. The MD said she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a week after I gave birth to my son on the 23rd. I talked to her for the last time on Christmas Eve. He estimated that she would have at least 6 months to live. She was gone two weeks after I got the news. It was so quick & my brother just got back in town to her the night before & he was able to say his last goodbyes to her. I am staring at her heaven badge as I am typing this. It truly hurts sooo much but I know she was there raining happy tears along with my other great grandmothers when I finally said yes to the dress ❤️ R.I.H Mimi 😘

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Sending so much love. I'm sorry you are dealing with that

Thank you so much I appreciate it. It’s very hard but she came to through a red cardinal & I smiled & cried. Everything will get better in time. Just think of all the happy memories & hold onto those.