Groom Sister Drama

I've actually been that sister. This was many years ago, and even though I knew that it was their decision to make, it still didn't make it hurt any less. I do think I felt expected and entitled to play some role in my only brother's wedding, so even though I understood they wanted to keep their wedding party small (only her sister and his best friend), I still felt irrationally hurt and very left out. They also offered to me the option to walk down the aisle and wear a special corsage, but it felt patronizing to me so I rejected both (what can I say, I was young and a jerk).

I completely support the fact that you own your own wedding and attendants, and should never be forced to include anyone just because they are family. I just thought I would weigh in from the other side. She will probably feel hurt - let her feel it, she'll get over it and maybe be a brat like I was, but she'll come to terms with it. Sometimes it's hard watching your siblings grow up and move on without you. Good luck

In addition to agreeing that you should stick with your plan, I also think this is your FH's issue to deal with. He should be the one to talk with his sister about backing off. Does she have a right to be disappointed? Sure! Does that mean she needs to get her way? Absolutely not. Also, if it were important enough, FH could have asked her to stand with him.... Given that his two best friends were his priority, she didn't make his "cut" either.

I'm one of five siblings. I was a BM in one sister's wedding, didn't attend the other sister's wedding (it was in Australia, I was a teenager at the time, and due to cost only our mom went), and was in neither of my brothers' weddings. I was asked to do a reading at one of them and was strictly a guest at the other. B&G get to choose who is in their wedding! Good luck!

When my sister got married she had 4 BM and her husband had 4 GM. I was not included in the wedding in any way, but I didn't expect to be because my sister and I aren't close and have a weird relationship. Not necessarily bad, just different. I was maybe a little hurt that it wasn't even a consideration, but ultimately I brushed it off.

I think talking to this sister, or having FH do so because it's his sister, sooner rather than later would be a good idea. Knowing that you are thinking of them and want to honor them in some way may help ease feelings a little. If it makes things worse or they don't want that, well then that saves you the time and money of making corsages for them.

When we got married, I asked my husband if I should ask his sister to be a bridesmaid. She and I aren't close at all, he and her are not particularly close, and she has said/done some hurtful things in the past and she's not my favorite person, nor someone I desire to have a closer relationship with, but I wouldn't say I have a problem with her at all. He said absolutely not and questioned why I would even think to include her.

Being related by blood to someone doesn't obligate you a role, or even an invite, to their wedding. Your decision to keep your wedding parties small is 100% okay, regardless of the size of your event. Someone (your FH) needs to be firm with the sister and let her know that the wedding parties are purposefully small. It sounds like you have a plan to include his sisters in the wedding procession, so just tell her your plan if you are set on it. There is no reason to hide that from her and it might help ease her dismay a bit to know she will be more than just an ordinary guest.

Coming from someone who has an overbearing, downright MEAN SIL, I unfortunately have been in a similar situation.

I think it's great that you are still including her in some way and she should be happy about that when it's time to let her know. Maybe you could think of letting her know her place sooner rather than later so she has time to process and accept it. She can feel hurt for not being a BM, that's fine but she should not get in the way of you enjoying your big day. I also agree with PP that your FH should help you out with dealing with any feelings she may have/explain things to her. It makes total sense that since you are having a significantly smaller wedding than originally planned, you are also wanting to keep the wedding party small! COVID has changed so much especially with weddings and people have to understand that.