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Lauren
Dedicated September 2019

Groom Support - Advice!

Lauren, on June 7, 2019 at 5:50 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 3

My dilemma: My FH is an amazing and amazingly generous person (nope no bias here, haha). However, as we have gone through wedding planning, it's become clear that he is getting little to no support from his friends and family with regard to the wedding. He's so hyped about the wedding and has been down lately because of lack of support, ex. having to plan his own bachelor party and key people not coming despite having a year to plan and other general non interest or dropping the ball situations. What makes it worse is my family and social circle is super excited about the wedding/us and are doting on me. They love him to pieces too, but I can't imagine how tough it feels to not get that type of support from one's own circle. He's been down about it lately.

Anyone been through anything similar? Any advice to cheer him up? I know I can't change the circumstances, I just want to be as supportive/sensitive as I can, it's new territory for me.


Thanks!

3 Comments

Latest activity by Jo, on June 11, 2019 at 4:24 PM
  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    First of all I’m sorry that you are going through this. I went through the same thing and it was hard. It was my second wedding and his first and his parents are deceased as well as his brother and his only living brother decided not to come (long story). He has great friends which helped but because we had a destination wedding many of them couldn’t attend. It was hard because my whole family traveled to be there and at times he felt very alone. I kept reassuring him that my family was now his family but it wasn’t easy. Luckily my cousins and other family included him in everything and checked on him many times throughout the process. Just know that it’s a struggle for him and be there to support him. You can’t change how he feels but maybe you can make it easier along the way. Good luck.
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  • Shannon
    Expert October 2017
    Shannon ·
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    You just need to support him and also let him be sad about it to. My husbands family was and still is like that. So keep in mind that it's probably going to happen again in the future. It's not just the wedding but it will probably happen on holidays and birthdays too. My family gets together for all birthdays and holidays his don't even call. He tends to not make a big deal about holidays and birthdays where I go all out. So I've learned over the years that I have to let him have that space because I think it kind of overwhelms him when he doesn't get that down time.
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  • Jo
    WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
    Jo ·
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    My experience wasn't dissimilar. I felt badly for my DH often because of the unequal support we each got. But the way I look at it is, my friends and my family are his now too so he IS getting support for his wedding from his new family. And you're his family too, so keep him involved and keep things fun and keep encouraging him, and I think you'll be able to make sure he has a great time while wedding planning, even if his family aren't very involved with the planning. Sending him my support and positive vibes!

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