Groom's family does not care

Attending the rehearsal, or even having a rehearsal, isn't mandatory. I know you're stressed, but just take a step back a breathe! It'll all work out!

View Quoted Comment I agree it isn't a mandatory thing. And some brides and grooms skip the rehearsal all together. It's going to work out just fine.

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We wanted to skip it, but on this forum, people kept saying it's needed. We will just want to treat the wedding party a free dinner and give gifts as well. I guess I shouldn't stress too much.

View Quoted Comment It's definitely not needed. I would just host those who are able to make it, and not worry about the ones who aren't. Don't stress!

Yah.. don't stress it. Those who don't make it will be directed by the others on the day of.

Yeah unless there's going to be an elaborate dance number then they should be able to manage walking down an aisle without practice.

Take a breath and step back. I think brides tend to forget that no one cares as much as you do. It's not that big of a deal to them. As much as you would like everything to be just perfect, it's never going to be. The more humans you invite, the more room you have for disagreements. You have to be willing to calm down and take a breath and go with it. If you don't you could turn into a Bridezilla and ruin the wedding memories for your spouse and yourself.

How much does the groom care?

Some people are really chill and DNGAF who is at their wedding as long as they get to marry their person. Due to Covid rescheduling, of our guest list, which is about evenly split 50/50 between "my" guests and "his", I anticipate the final numbers will be about 65% his people and only 35% mine, and I'll end up with no bridesmaids at all and he still has all four of his original groomsmen. I'm a bit bummed about it, but in the end having our celebration is more important than getting upset about every person important to me who won't be there.

Rehearsals are absolutely not necessary and if you are having an uncomplicated ceremony you will be fine without them.

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Thank you! I just found out another one cannot make it, so we decided to just cancel it and just have a family dinner instead.

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Thank you! Yeah, I need to see it that way too that others don't care as much.

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True true. Groom did not care much either. At this point, I am just done.

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You're so right about this. I was stressing a lot because my family has been super unhelpful, but the moment I realized that no one is invested in this event as much as myself and my groom are, I was able to let go of all my expectations and stop allowing people to disappoint me.

View Quoted Comment Oh yea, it's super easy to get so caught up in it. Then you can get angry that everyone else isn't. I think once you put it in perspective that it's really YOUR day and that everyone supports you but will never be as invested as you guys it's a lot easier to calm down. Expecting perfection will just add to disappointment. Just enjoy the process and go with the flow so you only have good memories. It's great you came to that conclusion. I hope OP does because she doesn't want this tainting her wedding. You just can't let other people have that much control over your emotions or you will never be in control of anything since you can't control other people.

It is pretty much understood in most weddings that the rehearsal is an "if you easily can attend" thing. And that people do not take off an extra day of work, pay an extra days lodgings and food, if that would be necessary . Same as people not traveling far for showers, a secondary party not worth traveling 10 hours to get to for most. Anyone who has ever been in a wedding, or graduated anywhere, can step right in to the role with 5 minutes coaching from the Br or Groom. More than half of all weddings I have been in had no rehearsal at all and went fone. The Br, Gr, and the person doing music are the essential ones, and the clergy or officiant.
It is not disrespectful, it is the usual thing.
Walk from there, down the aisle paise then walk there. Rehearsal pver, for many. You likely have no idea who has been in somebody's wedding before. Spending hundreds of dollars ( or not earning it) is not worth it.

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I have been in a wedding before. I was a bridesmaid and spent over $750. I helped hosted the Bridal Shower, and Bachelorette Party. The wedding was 4 hours away, so we had to book 2 nights of hotels. The bride also had 6 other girls, and they all flew in early and stayed 2 days at the hotel. Anyway, we decided to cancel it all together.

View Quoted Comment That means that you ladies could afford it ( I hope) and chose to spend your money that way. And for a lot of weddings that is true. My second wedding was the 40th I had ever been in. More than half had no rehearsal , or had a half hour meeting wedding morning. And many of the other half had people missing, travelers from a distance. Maybe you could afford the rooms. Maybe, unlike others, you did not lose a shift, or two people's shifts of work, to afford tocome early. For many, an extra $700 or $1300 would mean having to drop out of the wedding. Or, not attending non-essential events. It is not a test of loyalty from family. Maybe a half month's rest or an anmual car insurance bill, though. People have a right to control how they spend their money, and only the wedding is essential. The rest , parties and shopping and such, are optional. and traveling from a distance makes a difference.

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Nah, well, I didn't mention, but I found out the reason is because they will be at Disney. Anyway, yeah, I know where you are coming from. After reading all the responded, I felt better and decided to just let it go.

View Quoted Comment It is sometimes hard integrating your new married selves with the family and friends you each come from.
It does not matter to me personally whether you have a rehearsal or not. Only that you not feel that this is an example of his family is against, when likely they did it for money or practicality. They will likely be more welcoming as time passes, but for starters, neutral is fine. 🙂 I hope they come back happy from Disney with a lot of positive energy for your wedding.