Groomsman called to back out!

Sorry to hear this is happening. Releasing your groomsman from his duties leaves you short a groomsman and not releasing him may cause other types of drama. Try a serious conversation with your groomsman about how important it is for him to be there, the time you've invested in planning your wedding, etc. Did your groomsman make travel arrangements already or not?

I'm not sure you have the ability/right to "refuse to release him from his duties." Life happens, and you can't control other people. It surely does suck that he is backing out, I get it...one of my bridesmaids backed out last minute and I had already ordered personalized gifts. Sorry you are going to be out of so much money......BUT, other than politely asking him to reconsider, there really isn't much else you can do. Unfortunately, other peoples lives and timelines don't stop for someone else's wedding. Sounds like an opportunity came up that they needed to do, and his wife's new job is important to their lives and I can understand him not wanting to go without her. I know you were relying on him to be there for you though, so I am sure it's hurtful. But try not to let it consume your thoughts / time. Take the loss and move forward with planning the best y'all can. Your wedding is too special to you and your FH to let any outside factors "ruin" it.

Haha I laughed at that too

You can't force him to be a groomsman, especially for a destination wedding on a cruise ship. I know this is really frustrating and that you spent a lot of money on him already, but he isn't obligated to do anything. You can ask him if he'd be willing to come without his wife, but if not, then you can either find someone to take over his room or see if the cruise company will let you cancel his spot.

I agree with this. I think that's really really rude of him to not be a groomsmen still as you paid for him to have a room etc.. Not like you can get that money back!

I agree with this. You can't force him to go on a cruise without his wife.

This is one of things that can happen when you choose a destination wedding, and especially a cruise wedding where your guests are stuck on a boat for days. It's more inconvenient for guests and when things happen that are outside of their control it can make it so they are unable to attend at all.

Sure, it might have been possible for him to attend a land based wedding alone for a night or 2, but to expect him to go on a 5 day cruise without his wife is unreasonable.

There's 6 months until the wedding, you should be able to get most, if not all of the fare for his cabin refunded.

My thoughts are it was your choice to pay for everyone so early ahead of time. That was a gamble and unfortunately it didn't pay off.

He is fully allowed to say he can't come. Hard stop.

You can't refuse to release him from his obligation. There's no way you can force him on the cruise. However, if you can't get a refund from the cruise line, I think I would be asking him to pay for his room.