Groomsman driving me crazy!

If he's a good friend I'd try to do what you can to keep him in the wedding. It sounds like he's having a hard time financially. Can you rent his tux for him? He may not want to have to tell you guys that he can't afford it so he's just not responding. As far as seeing him travel, it's not your job to determine what his finances are off of that. Unless he told you that he was paying for it instead of other stuff they could have been saving up to travel.

Obviously if he can't get the time off he can't come, but some places are really weird with time off, especially with temp workers. I got fired from one job once my hours changed because my college courses started again, and they knew about them from the beginning of my employment. Can you guys meet with him in person to talk this over? Sometimes that's easier to convey emotions than over text.

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Hi Jessi!

We would be more than happy to help rent his tux for him. What is hard for me is he boasts about getting "funemployment" and brags about only having to work 2 months out of the year. So it is a bit annoying to me that he wouldn't come to his good friends wedding because he has been unable to get time off of his job. But of course would never tell him that. That is just where some irritation occurs. As well as him giving us different dates of him telling us when he'll know and rent his tux. I am not upset at all about his finances and what he is doing with them, its the ignoring us that upsets me. I again would be way more than happy to help out with his tux because it would save me all of the stress.

We won't be able to meet in person, but my fiance has called him a couple times just to talk, and he usually gets back way later. This isn't super uncommon for him, but now its getting a little crunch time.

Its hard because you say he's a good friend. Unfortunately, it seems like he isn't being a good friend to you guys. He has had a lot of time to figure things out. I would turn things back over to your fiancé and have him call him. Like PP said sometimes things get lost via text. Your fiancé needs to just be very direct and say you know you're one of my best friends I really want you there, is there a way we can help, and that you really need to give us a yes or no answer. At this point, he is making the choice to cut himself off if he isn't communicating with you guys

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I agree, he has been known to be flakey here and there, but this is something that is larger. Sometimes he doesn't have service at his job, but I he hasn't responded to my text asking for an update again and its been four days. So i want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I have a feeling he may back out due to not planning properly.

I agree. I may have my fiance be more straightforward with him. We will have to know soon because i don't want to buy him anything more if it is so uncertain. I feel bad for my fiance if he ends up backing out.

Honestly I'd stop trying with this guy. When the RSVP date passes (and it will), make a final text to him saying unfortunately you've had to mark him down as not attending. Then carry on with your lives. No point in trying to make this guy do anything.

I agree with Jacks. The RSVP due date is there for a reason. If he hasn't made the effort before then to communicate, just move on.

If you cut him as a groomsman are you going to replace him with someone else? If you're not, then I'd say just wait and see what he says by the RSVP date. Because cutting him now won't do anything. If you don't plan on replacing him then I wouldn't even cut him at all, honestly. Because worst case scenario is he doesn't come and you're down 1 like you would be if you cut him now. But if you're really adamant on having a certain number of attendants then cut him.

Yep I agree if you don't hear by the rsvp date just count him as not coming. He doesn't sound like a very good friend to me.

You’ve done all there is to do. You’ve expressed the need to answer by the rsvp date, so now the only action is to wait for that and proceed accordingly. Best to mentally prepare for him to not be involved. But otherwise don’t waste any more time worrying over him and his decision.

I definitely agree with Jacks! It sounds like he doesn’t want to be in the wedding. Despite what he says, his actions are loud and clear. Stop stressing over this guy. If he wants to attend as a guest, then great. If not, he can spend his time however he chooses. I would love to know how it all turns out!