Everyone had a great time and the minor issues we did experience like not enough chairs per table were resolved pretty easily, though it was a little embarrassing for me since it was a totally DIY wedding and I’m a perfectionist. I had one groomsman that complained all day. They had agreed to set up the tables and chairs (115 guests) and put the lights on the tent. It turned out my coordinator had already taken care of the tables so it was just chairs and lights. I was frustrated by his complaints day of and he was my only source of stress. Apparently he didn’t sleep well the night before….I let it go because I didn’t want to be a brat about it and wanted to focus on the positives. I showered them all with praise and thanks in addition to thank you gifts and dinner at our best restaurant. We are happy to do this because we love and appreciate our friends and want to be generous with them.
Well yesterday, this groomsman comes over and starts complaining about the wedding. He had to “stand there like an ass****” for about a min bc there weren’t enough chairs at the head table. (In fact, we were missing about half and everyone else who didn’t have one just went to grab one for themselves. This guy had someone give him their seat so he didn’t have to go get a chair). He said to me that he was very frustrated, especially “given how stressful set up was” and starting critiquing the fact that I didn’t use place cards, just a seating chart. He is a groomsman and he “shouldn’t have to deal with that,” we should have started earlier, he had to stressfully eat the lunch we provided etc. Then he started complaining about costs. This was a local wedding and he just got a 30% (!!) raise for an inflation adjustment…costs were very minimal for him. I calmly said that the venue was pay by the hour, 3 hours would have been plenty if all the groomsmen had helped, that my place cards didn’t get put out, and that he was the one who set up the chairs in the first place. He didn’t even notice that half the people didn’t have anywhere to sit bc he was so focused on himself. He was unabashed. I secretly got mad and left and my husband talked to him about having awareness of how his words and actions affect other people.
Fast forward to later that night. We are out to dinner for a birthday celebration and he’s hardcore pouting bc my husband said something to him. He obviously wanted someone to ask him what was wrong and have the attention on him even if it meant ruining everyone’s night. I received no apology or explanation or acknowledgment from him. I’ve known him for 9 years and have always tried to be a supportive friend.
Am I in the wrong here or his behavior unwarranted and generally crappy? I poured my heart into planning every detail and let it go when things didn’t go as anticipated and now am baffled that I am the one receiving criticism. Have any other brides or grooms out there experienced this and if so how did you handle it? I don’t want him to tarnish my positive memories, and he is a close friend of my husband and is always here. Thanks for reading!
