Groomsman in military blues instead of tux?

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This. Not only is it not required for active duty members, but a lot of people choose not to wear them unless they absolutely have to. It's awkward because people approach you and want to thank you/talk to you and you have to behave a certain way because you're in uniform. The only people I've ever met who want to wear them are brand new military and people going to formal military events. I think I would find a way to respectfully ask that he wear the same thing as everyone else. It would be different if the whole group was doing this.

My fiancé is active duty and choosing not to wear his dress blues (simply because of preference.) however, my dad and fiancés grandpa are retired military and not wearing their dress blues because they don’t want to steal attention. I don’t think it’s wrong to ask him to wear a tux to match the groomsmen. Does he not want to pay for it?

Yes, he should wear his uniform, especially if he’s active duty

If he wants to wear it, I certainly believe he's earned the right to. Everyone will know who the groom is.

It is not required. Completely your choice. He probably has minimal ribbons if he’s a private if it makes you feel better.

I am always ok ways with service members wearing there blues to weddings and even if in wedding party. They are proud to serve the county they love and looks good also. I got yelled at for nog wearing mine to a friends wedding.
But it is something you have to discuss with him. If it bothers you that much tell him and explain why. They don’t need to wear it and some don’t even want to wear them but wear in special functions or weddings.
But also what is there reason asking to wear it. Is if they flashy respectful vain or just don’t have the money to rent the tux.

We told our two USMC veteran groomsmen they could wear their dress blues if they wanted!

My first wedding had 1 in tux and 3 in uniform. It looked beautiful! They are proud of their uniforms, and are considered dressy. Plus, it saves them money for tux rental. Sometimes, that could be the issue.
Good luck!

Military protocol aside, I personally wouldn't want a member of our wedding party standing out more than the bride and groom. If the groom was in military dress I wouldn't mind, or if all of the rest of the groomsmen were in military dress I think it would be fine also, but I think just one guy wearing military navy when the rest are in black will really call attention to that one person. Ultimately, I think it is a decision you and your FH should make together. You should of course be sensitive to the best man, but it is your wedding.

I'm pretty sure at a civilian wedding there is no requirement for anyone to wear military dress uniform, especially anyone other than the bride/groom, but I'm not 100% sure.

Also here's a similar thread, if it helps: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/dress-blues-at-civilian-wedding/eb5cdec13f50fa39.html

This will just make the wedding more awkward and uncomfortable for the others. This is the thing about the uniform – it always calls for some unusual reaction in some people and does not let them behave casually. They feel this urge to approach, thank the guy, and just stare at him the rest of the evening. So, I would say that this is not the best idea. It was a thing in some years after WWII, but not now.