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Dedicated January 2021

Groomsman Issue

Amanda, on October 12, 2020 at 10:56 PM Posted in Planning 0 13

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One of our groomsman has been difficult to get ahold of lately. He ate three months out and he needs to order his suit by month end. He doesn’t respond to texts, calls, or fb messages. I feel like he just doesn’t want to be apart of our big day anymore... he lives in another state as well. We have a small wedding party, 3 on both side. One of my FH’s is a groomsmaid (she’s the one who introduced us). I don’t feel right replacing him is right because I feel like that’s rude to the other person we ask, like ‘hey you weren’t picked before so you’re clearly a back up.’ But on the other hand is it going to look totally weird having an odd number plus 4 girls and one guy? 😞

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Shelly, on October 14, 2020 at 12:35 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on October 12, 2020 at 11:00 PM
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I’m not sure why that would be weird. It’s unlikely that any couple has the exact same number of close friends, so uneven wedding parties are pretty common. It’s also very common to have friends of different genders.
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Dedicated January 2021
Amanda · on October 12, 2020 at 11:03 PM
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I think I’m just over thinking everything with the day getting close and now he’s being difficult.
But yes I am aware it’s common to have friends of different genders. Thank you
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on October 12, 2020 at 11:08 PM
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The bridal party doesn't have to be even, it won't look weird. I would ask him if he still wants to be a part of the bridal party and it's okay if he chooses to be a guest instead
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Dedicated January 2021
Amanda · on October 12, 2020 at 11:10 PM
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That’s a good idea, Thank you!
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Super October 2022
Michele · on October 12, 2020 at 11:15 PM
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He hasn't responded so you are down one groomsman. People have uneven groups all the time.
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Expert September 2020
· on October 13, 2020 at 12:13 AM
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It sounds like hes not interested in being in the wedding for whatever reason. But if hes your FH’s friend you should have him ask him if he wants to step out of the party. He may say yes immediately or he’ll say no and start being more cooperative. and if still you get no answer, send another text that basically says we cant have you as a groomsman if you dont buy the suit so youre out. But to answer your other question, I dont think its weird to have four girls and one guy or to have an uneven wedding party. It’s much better than asking people who you wouldnt have asked to begin with
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on October 13, 2020 at 1:00 AM
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Uneven is fine
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on October 13, 2020 at 8:11 AM
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Having an odd number is fine. If he doesn't come through then he doesn't come through. No nedd to replace.
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Devoted September 2020
Samantha · on October 13, 2020 at 8:31 AM
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From what I learned is people who don’t respond don’t know how to say they have something going on. I would say something like the lines of if you can’t answer then unfortunately you will not be able to be a part. We need to know for sure so we can plan accordingly. Different numbers does not matter I had 2 girls and my husband had his sister. We went out of state tho
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Expert August 2020
Angel · on October 13, 2020 at 3:59 PM
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If you feel he doesn't want to be apart of it, and if he doesn't get his tux, then leave him out! Don't let anyone be apart of your wedding who clearly couldn't care less. We're having sort of the same dilemma. We got married on our original date, but had to postpone our big wedding for March. One of his groomsmen, the guy who introduced us actually, didn't even congratulate us. Not one "like" on a FB post, not one text, nothing. So he's booted. Originally, my husband would have 4 groomsmen, now he'll have 3 and I'm just having 2. Not a big deal!
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Dedicated April 2021
Bridget · on October 14, 2020 at 9:25 AM
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My bridal party is an uneven number, I have 5 bridesmaids and my fiance has 3 groomsmen. I would reach out to him and just clearly ask him if he still wants to be part of the wedding or not.
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Master May 2020
Kari · on October 14, 2020 at 11:24 AM
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I wouldn't worry about odd/uneven wedding parties or the gender breakdown of either side. Have who you want there, supporting you, and don't worry about the rest.
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Devoted January 2022
Shelly · on October 14, 2020 at 12:35 PM
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He might have second thoughts about being part of the wedding party and just doesn't know how to tell you both. Not having him is fine, and an uneven number won't hurt anything!
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