Groomsman stressing me out!

This gives me anxiety to read lol. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this so close to your wedding. I am 11 days away from my wedding and have had somewhat similar situations happen with one of my FW’s bridesmaids. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do but keep checking back with them and hope for the best. Worst case scenario, they will have to drive. Good luck and try not to stress (easier said than done, I know)!!!!

Actually i remember for my wedding, i was more annoyed with the guys than the girls too. i hope your groomsman will be able to come!

It seems like your GM doesn't know how much it means for him to be there! I really hope everything works out

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None of their cars will make that drive again lol... I hope for FH sake he figures it out.... Like I said I always had a feeling this was going to happen..... sucks none the less though and cost us extra money for sure if he doesn't come.

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I have been super lucky.. this is pretty much the only issue guys have given us except at one point best man started dating this girl that refused to let him drive up another guest that had planning on riding with him... they ended up breaking up a few weeks later which worked out because she was nuts.

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I think he does. he just has a very carefree mentality about everything. Its worth noting he is a major stoner and and pretty much just does things on a whim (hence the move to Colorado). lol

If it makes you feel better, one of our groomsmen didn't book his flight or hotel until 5 days prior. It wasn't a money thing, that is just how he traveled. I know it's hard, I would just try to focus on other things and hope he makes it. He is a grown up so only he can book his flight & do all that.

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That must have been stressful. Honestly like I said I always had a feeling this might happen.. what i didn't think about is the added expenses to us if he doesn't come... lol

We already paid for him and his girlfriends lodging so we would be out that lol and FH got to rent his tux for free because 6 guys were renting their tuxes so if he doesn't follow through on renting a tux because he doesn't show up we didn't plan on that added $200 which isn't the end of the world but still annoying 18 days out lol. I more so just feel for my FH because its one of his best friends, so if he doesn't show I know he will be heart broken honestly.

Yup... we're dealing with groomsmen right now ourselves lol.

Two have yet to RSVP - telling us if wives/girlfriends are coming, names of guests, etc.

Three haven't even gone in and been fitted for their suits.

And one (our officiant) hasn't even begun working on getting ordained.

Yikes that is stressful!! I am suspicious that my groomsmen will cause some sort of headache for me.. and then if everything goes smoothly I will be happily surprised rather than super stressed lol

Deff stressful. All you can say to your FH is that what happens happens. We went through some annoying stuff with my husbands family and in the end they were all there, We helped out with paying some lodging, rides around, advice on where to stay etc but in the end it's up to them to get themselves to the right city. In our case everything worked out after a few months of frustration so I hope it's the same for you! All you can do is support your FH.

On of the groomsmen have been my only source of ire. My FBIL took FOREVER getting fitted for his tux. We are renting from a local place and i was getting anxious because they are slammed for August. I told my FH he had to handle it because being a Bridezilla wasnt on my agenda. He finally told him if he wasnt in a tux, he wasnt standing with him and it finally got done.

18 days out too!

Sounds like poor planning on the GM’s part. Yeah, a few of the boys in our wedding have for sure been their own share of drama. I really hope it all works out and he is able to make it

View Quoted Comment I must confess, I am one of these people. Brides, because I have been in many, many weddings, and people whom I meet or travel to on vacation, always get nuts that I never book much in advance. They are getting crazy trying to check with me or behind my back, and I tell them, I'm all grown up. I have traveled to more than 30 countries now, and over lots of the US and Canada repeatedly. Only 2 states and 1 province that I have not been to. And they pitch fits that I have no 3-6 month out need to book anything. I have never been unable to go somewhere because I did things too late. Ever. I always arrive well before time required. And over and over I wonder why other people insist on stressing themselves out because I always do things on time. Just not as early as they want. Never late to work. Never late to appointments. Never a no show for any plans I commit too. Why do people feel the need to watch over other competent adults? 😋 Years back, my compulsive plan-in-advance sister bugged me weekly. She was terrifed I would miss her wedding, that I would not be home in NH a week ahead, from WA. I kept telling her, it is not like school. When you leave the army, stateside duty, you leave on time. You do not hang around a military base. They will boot my butt out. Still, she nagged and pestered. Have mercy, people . All your friends and family cannot be incompetent idiots. You would have noticed before this. Also, those few who are, do not improve if you nag them. You get mad, they get mad. But it does not change anything. Some of us are just routinely laid back, but always get things done.

Okay, my BiL didn’t book his Flight until the week prior to our Wedding, which was last Saturday.

You will be fine and get married with our without FH’s Best Friend being there. I know that it’d be pretty disappointing for him and painful to watch for you. The only thing that really matters is that you and FH show up and get married.

Same with the guys causing me stress here. We are getting married in a small town so there are minimal places to stay. The wedding is over an hour from where most of our wedding party lives and we will definitely be drinking that night so I feel like it's a given that they should all book rooms or share rooms.
I made a room block at one of the better hotels (still only $90/night) and even organized a shuttle from the reception. The room block ended 2 weeks before the wedding and now that the hotel is completely full everyone is asking where they can stay...and the other hotel in town is down to 2 rooms! lol. They don't want you to hold their hand but at the same time they do
10 days of stress to go..

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I've been in several weddings & traveled quite a bit, but I'm a planner. I book flights 3-4 months out for weddings, and buy my dress 6-10 months just so I don't cause stress on the bride. All my bridesmaids were the same and most the groomsmen were, it was just a few that did things more last minute. But I really didn't care and assumed they would make it, and if they didn't, we would have a few less groomsmen. Did I care? Not at all! Haha!

I had a destination wedding and a lot went behind the scene of who’s coming and not very last minute. The best advice I can give you is don’t stress it because stressing it doesn’t fix it. At this point there’s nothing you can do besides wait and hope he makes it. If he doesn’t then he’ll be the one to regret it. I say have FH stay in contact with him and if he doesn’t come pass the lodging along to someone else or maybe try to cancel if possible. Enjoy the last couple of days!

I'm so sorry they are adding so much stress so close to the wedding. HOnestly, he sounds like a flaky friend. I think you and FH should come to terms that there is a strong chance he doesn't make it. Maybe he'll surprise you, but it will eliminate the stress if you let go of the idea of him coming. That really sucks for your FH :/ I'm sorry.

Can you afford to help with the flights? If its important to FH it might be worth it. We did that for 2 people -aunt to keep his mom entertained and his best man who could never afford a destination wedding. We just budgeted for it and they are very appreciate. We were paying for the groomsman as well but he was wishy-washy on committing due to a new job. This guy had the nerve to say that on top of paying for his whole trip and clothes that he would need a weeks wages to be able to go. Big nope!! I draw the line there.