Groomsmen are something else

No, he can't dictate anything since it's not obligatory for anyone, including groomsmen, to participate or attend an optional bachelor party. It sounds like many of them are on tight budgets, so that is something that should have been discussed and considered before making any plans. I'd recommend that your H figure out what an acceptable budget would be and go from there. You can have a very nice night or day for a lot less than $250 each.

If H wants to go jet skiing and sailing with his brother then he can arrange that for just the two of them. Alternatively, if it fits into the budget he can pick one or two of the three things he had in mind.

Your H may just share that he can't get an agreement for a bachelor party. Maybe your BIL can nudge the other groomsmen into something. Otherwise, just celebrate with the two of them.

They don't sound like the kind of friends I'd want if they are rudely ignoring messages and constantly in strip clubs, but that's just me. Regardless, you can't count their money or push them to participate or contribute. At most, H can call or write back one more time and say that if he doesn't hear back by a certain date then he'll assume they aren't interested in participating. At that point, I would deal only with those who did respond and said it was about budget or just do something special with the groom.

My only point was it could help to let the groom know that other plans are not working out. If the groom knows that, it won't be a surprise there are only the two of them for the events -- or maybe the groom could convince some others to join. But perhaps the activities don't interest them at all. oh well.

Overall it remains confusing that friends for so long would not join in -- even if they weren't excited about the specific event.

I would not recommend involving the groom he has enough on his plate. It is rude the other groomsmen are not responding to him though. Maybe try calling them instead of sending a message If you can maybe save the boat thing to as a couple thing with you and your friend and your hubby and his brother and just plan something dinner and bar, a casino or poker night, baseball game, golf day whatever works for the group for the bachelor party. Sorry you and your hubby have to deal with this. Good luck!

Oh, not everyone responds to group chats. I don't. Have your H call them separately with a date for the above itinerary. In a private conversation, each person may comment on the costs and availability. Good luck.