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Champion August 2017

Guest attire: How much say does the couple get?

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Mrsbdg, on September 6, 2019 at 3:37 PM

Hey y’all!
Well. My dad is getting married in December 🙄 As planning has gone on his FW has really pushed my sister and I around and I’m curious if my hatred towards her is tainting my judgement (okay, I’m bored at work too and her most recent text came through this morning and I’m still processing)

The wedding doesn’t have a listed dress code but she’s been texting us lists of rules even though we haven’t asked her input at all.

Also we are not in the wedding party or in any way a part of the ceremony.

Her rules thus far:
Wear clothing that covers all tattoos (for me that’s : forearm, wrist, behind my ear, and upper shoulder) (for my sister that’s :upper back, ribs and wrist)
Shoulder, chest, back and stomach covered (no mesh)
No suits, pants or jumpsuits
I remove all piercing (nose, septum, rook, and tragus)
No black, grey, red, yellow, or green
No books or sneakers under my dress (and no stilettos for my sister)
Floor length or knee length dresses
Nothing tight or fitted
No natural curls, no heavy makeup, no red or dark lipstick, and no dark nail polish

Other rules are:

We aren’t to talk to her family without her or my father around.

We aren’t allowed to drink.

My sister, husband, and I aren’t to speak Spanish to one another around her family.

A few of these rules I already plan to break: I’m drinking and speaking to my husband any way I wish. I’m tempted to just buy whatever dress I want.

Also, yes, we’ve talked to Dad and sent him screenshots and he’s basically said she’s a picky bride and that we need to respect our FMIL.

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204 Comments

Devoted September 2019
Nicole · on September 6, 2019 at 4:02 PM
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Well it is ok and if she wants to poison her kids minds w hatred then I’d say as much as I could when she’s not around! Ugh
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VIP February 2020
Julie · on September 6, 2019 at 4:06 PM
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I notice that she didn't say not to wear white...
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Master October 2018
MrsV1027 · on September 6, 2019 at 4:06 PM
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WOW that's super bridezilla right there. Your tattoos and piercings are who you are. You aren't in the party so how does it effect her? I vote you wear what you want. You'd think since she is marrying your dad she'd have a little compassion towards you. She sounds like the evil stepmother in Cinderella.
No pants? Some people are not comfortable in dresses.
Personally if I could pull it off I'd wear this
with these
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VIP February 2020
Julie · on September 6, 2019 at 4:07 PM
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😈 I mean...right?
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Master October 2018
MrsV1027 · on September 6, 2019 at 4:07 PM
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Yasssss! Wear a full on bridal looking dress! pure white with a train and everything
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Master December 2020
Amanda · on September 6, 2019 at 4:07 PM
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Nope. In my opinion you can ask guests to wear formal, casual, etc and thats about it! There is no reason you shouldn't be able to show tattoo's,drink if they have alchol there, etc. I'd barely go at that point -.- I'm picky but hell no I wouldn't say ANY of that
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Master October 2018
MrsV1027 · on September 6, 2019 at 4:10 PM
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Does she not think that if she just said please dress conservative you would understand and dress conservatively? If someone gave me a list like that I'd either not go or I'd break the rules but if they treated me like an adult and nicely asked me to dress conservative I'd find a nice long sleeve dress and respect her. She's not respecting you so why does she feel you should do the same?
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on September 6, 2019 at 4:13 PM
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I have to say that she sounds absolutely crazy. I understand it’s her wedding but she can’t control what people wear. What happened if you show up and break all the rules? Will she ask you to leave? I would probably respect some things but definitely not all of her list. Maybe just tell your dad you can’t follow all these rules and maybe it’s best you don’t go and she if he stands up for you. Good luck!
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Savvy October 2019
Lené · on September 6, 2019 at 4:14 PM
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Ummm she sounds very rude. She's not your mom so I wouldn't listen to any of her demands because she has no right to tell you, a grown woman, what to do. Just wear what you want
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Master December 2020
Amanda · on September 6, 2019 at 4:16 PM
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I would talk to her or demand your father step in. Otherwise you will go in whatever you want and "her day will be ruined" or whatever because thats redic! I'm sorry, talk about MONSTER IN LAW
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Super January 2020
Rebecca · on September 6, 2019 at 4:18 PM
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Omg! Everything she is asking of you to comply with is just absolutely ridiculous! I don't think I would go if I were you, but that's just me... Unless you have a great relationship with your father. Literally, my jaw dropped lower and lower as I kept reading on the list of rules!
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Master May 2019
Chandra · on September 6, 2019 at 4:24 PM
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Wooooowwwww.... is she imposing these rules on all guests or just you guys?
Regardless, that's so overbearing it's insane. I think brides and grooms can only suggest the formality of the event in regards to guest attire (cocktail, semi formal, etc)
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Super August 2019
Btbride · on September 6, 2019 at 4:32 PM
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She's bonkers. Please break every single rule. I'm so sorry that this is the kind of person your dad is marrying.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on September 6, 2019 at 4:37 PM
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My sister and I were pressured into going because he’s convinced we “sided” with our mother in their divorce. We were only going in an attempt to take the heat off our mom. I feel like since she knows that we won’t back out it’s her opportunity to do what she wants 🙄
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Master January 2019
FutureMrsKC · on September 6, 2019 at 4:38 PM
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Sounds like she is overly trying to hide you and your sister from her family. I saw your comment that they are very conservative, which is fine, but that doesn't mean it should be this tight lipped, crazy strict family affair.
I'd absolutely do what you want. If she wants to marry your father and invite family from both sides she has to deal with who you are. Your tattoos are unique, being bilingual is a skill, and how you choose to portray yourself with your attire is totally your choice. You should show up as yourself, not who she wants her family to think you are. She's being disrespectful to you.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on September 6, 2019 at 4:38 PM
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Hahaha. I don’t trust her fashion sense. I was looking at a long sleeve high neck fit and flare but it’s SO hard to find.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on September 6, 2019 at 4:41 PM
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THATS WHAT WE SAID!

I had fallen in love with a boat neck long sleeve gown when I was dress shopping it it wasn’t a possibility for a late August wedding. My sister texted a picture of me in it to me and was “Do it!”
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on September 6, 2019 at 4:42 PM
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Lol I’m well over a decade over 18.

I planned to cover my MCR tattoo because it upsets her but if we get thrown out my sister, husband and I would just head to a bar 🤷🏽‍♀️
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VIP September 2019
Lauren · on September 6, 2019 at 4:49 PM
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I wouldn't either but if she had to find something that fit the requirements and pay for it herself she might just back down and let you wear whatever you want. Kind of a taste of her own medicine.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on September 6, 2019 at 4:50 PM
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Lol she’s been texting them over the course of a few weeks so I guess she’s just making it up as she goes. My sister and I have a google doc of it so we don’t “mess up” 😆

If it were up to her I don’t think we’d be invited. They are doing a unity ceremony without us (but with all of her kids) and she constantly guilts my dad when he comes to see us.
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