Guest list and plus ones changes

No, it doesn’t matter if you met them. You invite the entire couple. Plus ones are for single people , significant others are not plus ones.

Contrary to popular belief, etiquette still exists within Covid to navigate social situations. If anything, it should be taken more seriously instead of people wanting to throw it in the trash.

COVID or not, a significant other (regardless of the time together which is not up to you to judge the validity) is not and never will be a plus one. People just don’t understand that. They are an automatic invite because you cannot ask someone to celebrate your relationship while disrespecting and discounting theirs. It doesn’t matter if you have met them or not. Many couples meet their significant other’s friends/relatives for the first time at the wedding. Invite them both as a couple or don’t invite either of them.

A plus one is a random stranger who cares nothing about you because your single unattached guest doesn’t know another soul to talk to.

A relationship is a relationship. There has to be a first time to meet every new partner ! If they’re always excluded because you’ve never met them, you may never meet them


For what it’s worth there were THREE “new” partners that we extended and invite to for our wedding. I’m very glad we did , because 2 are now married and the 3rd is engaged. I would’ve felt awkward moving forward and attending their weddings knowing that they knew that I didn’t invite them to my own.

View Quoted Comment Excellent points, thanks!

View Quoted Comment Thanks. I see your point about the possibility of these persons sticking around. I think my hang-up is these family members are known for their ever changing partners.

Unlike other posters, my fiancé and I told everyone who has a SO we've never met (or one of us has never met); and the singles ones (baecause they might start a relationship later) that they have to introduce them to us (or to the one who has never seen them). Doesn't mean they have to take us tto a restaurant or to their home but they have to make introductions BEFORE the RSVP deadline .

Even if it means seeing them for 3 minutes on skype or zoom or visiting us with the SO for 3 minutes,as long as we see their face before our RSVP deadline 😀 because we don't want anyone to be introtuced to us on the D day.
I know that many weddingwire members disagree with this but this is OUR RULE: NO INTRODUCTIONS ON OUR BIG DAY, take it or leave it ... but we still give them a chance to bring their SO.

I'm not saying we have to know them well ,we only want to see their face so on our big day we know that this girl is Steve's girfriend or this guy is the aunt Vanessa's partner. Lol.

Normally I would say you should invite/include the new SO if they have been a couple for at least 6 months or so (like the timeframe in which you would have sent STDs for the wedding if it hadn't been moved). I don't think its necessary to accomodate very new relationships, but I do think an "established" relationship earns the couple an invitation as a couple, even if you haven't met the SO.

If you are having to downsize or limit your guest list due to Covid, I do think its fair to be a little more picky with extending invitations to people whom you haven't met and are not a part of your social circle. I would automatically eliminate all plus ones, and I really like the previous poster's idea of "no introductions" on your wedding day. Your wedding will be so busy and the last thing you need is to be meeting and trying to play host to people you have never met before.

We had one "unknown" at our wedding celebration (new GF of a guy who we had previously invited with his old GF). She was lovely and I had no issue with having her at our wedding, but I felt like I spent extra time talking to her so that she felt super welcome, and I spent so much of our wedding making sure I connected with all our guests that the night flew by and I barely got to dance or even enjoy the drinks and just have fun. I loved our wedding but wish I could have been a guest at our wedding instead of hosting/being the "main event". I would do everything you can to lessen having any significant portion of your sized-down wedding be people you don't know and don't have a relationship with.

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I honestly think this is a great idea and am very supportive of it!

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I disagree. I think it's a bizarre thing to focus on and an inappropriate expectation to put on guests.

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Well I think its incredibly rude to expect a couple to spend a significant amount of money hosting someone they have never met before. If you are planning to bring a date to someone's wedding (aka one of the most important and most expensive events of their lives) having a 3-min Facetime call with the couple seems like a minor inconvenience. Plus it sets up the couple to actually be better hosts because the actually know who the random girl in the corner they've never met before is.

I really wanted the one guest we had never met to feel welcome so I tried to figure out what I could about her so that we seated her with other guests she had stuff in common with and I made it a point to talk to her for one-on-one for several minutes when we went around to greet all of our tables. We had one guest (out of 47) that we didn't know but if we were having a larger wedding and there were a handful of people we had never met before, I feel like having those "nice to meet you" moments before the wedding would be so helpful. Guests would feel more like they belong and the couple would be less likely to mix up those unknown guests at the wedding itself.

I don't know how you could say that knowing the people invited to your wedding is a "bizarre" thing to focus on.

Unlike the previous poster I wouldn't focus on guests only one of us had met, but instead the guests that neither of us had met before, but that's just me.

View Quoted Comment Of course, you have the right to disagree.
However: This is a rule that we both agreed on because we both hate the idea of introducing people to the newlyweds on their wedding day.
We still let our guest who are in a relationship an opportunity to bring them. I don't think it's rude to request that the newlyweds want to see all faces of the SOs they don't know yet, in my mind (and in my groom's) seeing them for 2 minutes via webcam or in-person is not the hardest thing to do in the world. Distances are not even a big deal anymore thanks to the internet.Some guests might dislike this, they are free to RSVP no or they are even free to ask us to give them an explanation. Some couples are definitely fine and comfortable with the idea of having some people they've never met but we are not, not even for one people. That's it.