Guest list dilemma

Hey ladies , I'm sure everyone goes through this same delimia with the guests list being created. I'll paint the picture a little better, my mom and I were having lunch a few days ago, I had made my guest list and I wanted to ask my mom permission if my dad could be there out of respect for her my dad has been out of the picture since I was 22 I'm 29 now and he had asked to be there as a guests and he really wants to make it a point to build a better relationship. I shared that with my mom she said it was OK , moving forward she had asked me if I was going to invite her husband's parents and his brother to our wedding I had said no. I said I never thought to invite them I'm sorry. My mom had mentioned in a previous conversation when I asked her for some help paying for a couple things she said absolutely not you guys are adults you should be able to pay for your own wedding. She feels entitled to ask details about the wedding and when I tell her something she's not pleased with it , I'm getting married to an Asian guy and we are following some of his traditions and I think she is afraid none of our traditions will be In cooperated. Long story short she asked me of my finace sister would throw the bridal shower. It bothered me because she had claimed that she just wants to show up as a guests. This is my second wedding and I feel she doesn't support it like the first one. I'm 29 I'm in school and I work , so I don't feel like I'm being inappropriate asking if she can help. We had a big blowout the next morning when I asked her why are you putting so much on yans ( my finace) family. She wanted to know the budget , everything. I blew up and said OK if you want your guests to go you pay for them! Things got worse from there she took my stuff out of her car and made me Uber home . She said she wants no Involvement. We have been arguing alot and I'm exhausted by her 2 cents . What should I do? Am I being unreasonable with her requests when she doesn't offer to help 🤔 thanks girls