Guest list dispute/ probably too long of a rant🙃

Background — both my fiancé and I come from large family’s I have 86 relatives over the age of 18 and my finances family is a little bit larger. We both agreed we wanted a small wedding and want to keep it closer to 15,000$. We have agreed upon a 75-100 person headcount.


My fiancé has been asked several times to fill out his family headcount. Today when discussing he said he did not want to cut out any cousins. More than half of his cousins I have not met and he does not keep in touch with outside of a family event every few years. None of them have reached out since we’ve been engaged although it was announced in their family groupchat. I told him I do not want anyone at our wedding that I do not know or that we do not see more than once a year. He is extremely upset and said that he doesn’t know if he can make cuts. Am I wrong for my view and expectations on who is invited to our wedding?
I also am struggling cause he has a friend who I do not like who he wants to come. This person has made it clear he doesn’t like me, he owes my fiancé money, and only wants to visit when my fiancé will use his season tickets to take him to football games. My fiancé texted him that he was proposing and he never responded. When my fiancé called him to tell him I said yes he didn’t even say congratulations he just talked about how he was going to be the best man. He word for word said “I’m not going to contribute to anything financially to be your best man or help plan anything but I do expect to be the person standing next to you on the day” this is not someone I want in my life let alone at my wedding.
It’s starting to get really frustrating because our wedding is not a family reunion and he has been asked for over a week to get a list together. He also wants me to start planning now so we can plan as I just moved out of state and we are buying a house here an he is moving here later this year so we want to get married right after and also have a tight bonus with two mortgages and a wedding.
I’m probably just stressed but it’s feeling like this isn’t about us anymore and is just causing flights. I’m becoming more and more stressed about it and feel like I don’t really have support. I have him my expectation that he needs to help with at least 50% of every thing because I work 60-80 hours a week and making all the decisions by myself is stressful and he told me there was no way and that it’s not typical for the groom to help so I shouldn’t expect him to and he shouldn’t have to. I just really don’t feel like we are partners in this.