Long story short - we sent 310 Save The Dates to people. Our venue holds 250 and I am already aware of a number of people who cannot come before invitations have gone out - reason we sent that many is 1) they say to expect 10-20% of people invited not to come 2) kids are counted in that number - I do not expect everyone's kid to come (and have been told by a few couples that they plan on not bringing them) . Here's my issue. I have had multiple conversations with my future MIL involving the guest list, essentially telling her that I need to cut more people because of cost and venue capacity. Each convo has ended with her yelling at me/telling me off and that I don't respect her as the mother of the groom. Here's the thing - I have gone out of my way each time trying to keep her updated with wedding to-do's, guest list and more because I am trying to build a relationship with - she never seems interested. I didn't have to come to her with the guest list asking who on their side of the family we could take off - I could have and should have just not included her and figured who to take off on our own and dealt with the fit she would have thrown - but I was eager to please her, as I am the new daughter in-law coming in and want to give a good impression.
My fiancé comes from a huge Hispanic family, I love his family and wish we could have every single one of them there - but financially it can't happen and honestly almost 170 people on the list our his family (*both mom and dads side!). However, MIL will not contribute financially, we've asked and she beats around the questions, changes topics, or details how awful her wedding was and how no one likes her...shocker. She has continually pressured me to add more of her family on (family members that my fiancé isn't even comfortable with having) I am so blessed to have my parents who are helping front most of the costs - but I feel as though my future MIL is taking advantage of my parents wanting to help plan a nice wedding for me and my fiancé. My question is - is it tacky or looked down upon now that I am getting ready to order and send out the actual invitations to not send one to some people who received a Save-the-Date? I feel awful doing that, but I feel I am getting pushed into a corner and am starting to panic that there will be more people then seats because I caved to my bullying MIL's ways. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle it?
The wedding is June. 18th, 2022.
