Guest list is getting out of control

Does your venue have any space restrictions that you could use as an argument to tell them to stop inviting people?

View Quoted Comment We are getting married in Florida, and the venue is so large that they’re really is no restriction that would help. Our venue can hold up to 300 and right now our guest count is at 110 which is 20-30 people over what we had been anticipating

Woah I don't think I even know that many people

View Quoted Comment At that point then you just need to sit down with your parents or give them a call and explain everything. Just be firm and say that you were expecting this amount of guests and that they have to stop inviting more people.
Also that it’s rude to invite people just because they might give you a gift haha

You’re probably looking at an uncomfortable sit down- and you are absolutely in the right.
Try to frame it in ‘the grand scheme of things’ that you’re being money-wise. You want things after the wedding (house/children/pets...) and that’s what this wedding is kicking off, your marriage and your life together. The gift money and your savings are better spent on that, then this one occasion.

View Quoted Comment Yes you’re probably right. It’s just frustrating because we were mainly in the green and now it’s all these extra people and last minute expenses that are really adding up. And my dad is the kind of person who when he got married had no problem taking out a second mortgage and spent 30k on his wedding. Which we are in no way okay with doing

View Quoted Comment That’s exhausting... it’s very sweet they want all these people around to celebrate and that these people seem to as well. My money would be on that your folks want you happy first.
I hope you and your FH are proud of yourselves for being money savvy! It’s so hard to keep to budget with some things.

Set boundaries and maintain them. Learn to say and repeat no like a broken record. This will snowball with them taking over other aspects of your life (where you live, where you work, where you spend holidays, how you raise kids, etc) if you don't stop it now while you can. Your wedding should be your and fiance's wishes, not parents because their day has already passed. Give the money back, cancel the wedding they have planned and you and fiance have the wedding YOU want that you can afford.

View Quoted Comment For sure, don’t get me wrong I have a great relationship with my parents however I think they’re just a little out of touch when it comes to finances and the fact that we aren’t in same situation or want to make the same decisions as them. But yes honestly even with the year we had we have been saving and were so close to not having to borrow a dime and cash flowing almost the whole wedding ( minus what my parents paid of course) although I’m sure my fiancé feels very differently I think in comparison to others we’ve come out not too bad. But I just keep reminding my FH that this is a one time deal & honestly am glad would not have to ever plan again lol

You & your fiancé are going to have to sit down with your parents & set some boundaries ASAP. Let them know that you understand that they are extremely excited & happy but the guest list is getting out of control. Let them know what your vision is for your wedding & having a large number like that isn’t what you want. Also, let them know that you guys want a no children wedding so you now have to contact those with children about your wedding.

Wow this got very out of hand. I think you need to hit the breaks today. Set the guest list, put a pin in it, tell people no children, and end it there. If your parents want to add other guests, they should cover the entire cost of the plates--and you should limit them.


Did the invites specify the number of seats or specific names of guests? If not, I think you may have given people the impression that their kids were invited
But also, do you not want your own younger siblings there?

One thing I got to say to this is that it's your wedding not a reunion. If they want to get together with all those people they have the freedom to at a reunion that is separate from the wedding.


However you got two options. First option is to sit down with your parents and set boundaries and if you decide not to have kids its no kids, not those kids and these kids can come but those ones can't. And then you need to tell your parents that kids are not invited no matter what. But that is if you decide on no kids. Yes most guests will give you money, however you should never bank on that money because it's not a guarantee.
Second option is to tell your parents that you appreciate their financial help but don't want it. Unfortunately rather someone is giving you a penny or thousands to help with your wedding, it always comes with strings. People always think that because they are giving you money for the wedding that they have a final say. So if you want to eliminate your parents thinking they have the right to tell you how your wedding is going to be then don't take the money. Otherwise you might end up having to deal with inviting the whole neighborhood.
Thirdly I don't know if this will help you, but my fiance and I did our guests in the beginning with our parents and before we knew it we were at 200 guests. My fiance and I only wanted 120 before covid. So we decided to make a rule and stick to it. Our rule for guests is that if we meaning my fiance and I haven't seen or talked to you in a year or more you aren't invited to the wedding. I hope this helps. Good luck

Not to play devil's advocate (because I FULLY disagree with parent's taking the reigns and treating your big day as their social hour), but how much of the wedding are they paying for? Is is putting you over the budget you and your fiancé have set to pay over your parent's portion? I see that your wedding is next month, is this effecting your caterers?

Either way, I think you decide the rules of your wedding. If you didn't list these kids by name on your invitation, there's no excuse for the parents to think they should bring their kids. Although I may be totally in the minority, families are not a package deal at weddings. If you aren't including children at the wedding, you aren't including children at the wedding - no exceptions, IMO. Even though you said you didn't specify that you didn't want kids there, I assume you specified the invitation? If you included the kid's names, I think you'll have to bite the bullet with it.

But you and your fiancé need to sit down and remind your parents who's day this is - and soon, since your wedding is so soon.

View Quoted Comment Lol! I’m exhausted from planning... we were 90% set then covid hit. So all the replanning the last year for two events when I was already over it has been awesome lol
I’m sure you’re going to get this under control and balanced sounds like it’s going to be a great day!!