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Alexa
Just Said Yes July 2021

Guest list troubles

Alexa, on September 28, 2020 at 8:13 PM Posted in Planning 0 8

Hello, I wanted some advice because I am at a complete loss at this point.

My FH and I are getting married July 2021 and because of COVID our venue has implemented a 80 person limit on our guestlist. This was initially fine with us because we wanted a small wedding. However, my parents have made this rule about the guestlist a large problem - specifically my dad. He wants to invite an additional 8 people after we have already cut so many people because of the limit that we wanted and we do not particularly want these extra people. My dad has also asked that all my little cousins come (they're younger children) which adds five people. I have told him that I don't want to risk going over the limit by assuming people won't come because we are only inviting people we know will come. He insists I cut more but our friend list is significantly lower than family and we have cut family down as much as possible.

TLDR: my dad wants to invite more people than the buildings limit and I don't have anywhere else to cut

8 Comments

Latest activity by Yasmine, on September 29, 2020 at 7:05 AM
  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Is he paying for your wedding? If not then it would be a definite no for me. Even so it’s you and you’re fiancé’s wedding, and he can’t go over the venue limit. That would just cause unnecessary problems with your venue.


    It seems like you guys need to have a talk
    • Reply
  • I
    Expert August 2021
    Ingrid ·
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    The venue is setting a person limit for July 2021 or are you saying the venue only holds 80 people.


    If it's due to a COVID limit I would make two lists, number of people restrictions will more than likely change by the time you need to send invites.
    If it's due to the venue limited space then stick to about a 10% overage for inviting. Some who you think will attend will probably back out. And as you get a No RSVP get a List B invite out right of way. Maybe make your List A RSVPs due sooner than you would typically.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    If he's not helping pay for the wedding, then I would tell him no. It's your wedding, and if even you aren't able to invite everyone you want to, he shouldn't force you to remove even more people from your list in favor of adding people that he wants.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Unless he is paying for the wedding then he doesn't have a say. If you are happy with the guest list as it is then just say no. He can't make you invite people that you don't want to include.

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  • Julie
    Just Said Yes July 2021
    Julie ·
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    Ugh guest lists are the worst part about planning... especially during covid. I hope it works out for you! I would make two lists in case people back out or in case you are allowed to have more people.
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  • Alexa
    Just Said Yes July 2021
    Alexa ·
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    He is paying for some of it, and I tried to talk to him about the list and he was very mad about it and didn’t talk to me for like 2 months over it. Now we’re back to square one. So I’m not sure if I should just make the executive decision and make cuts or not.
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    I'm sorry he's being so petulant.

    Make the executive decision. When he complains, again, simply say you are following the rules the venue has set down. They can refuse you service if you do not follow them. End the discussion.

    (As the daughter of a toxic mother, this is the best way I found to deal with them.)

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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Oh wow. I think you should make the executive decision because its your wedding.

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