Guest list

View Quoted Comment This! You took the words right out of my mouth.

Huge red flag. He sounds selfish and controlling. Unless I read the op wrong. It honestly reminds me of an awful relationship with a narcissist that I was once in for a decade.

My FH and I had no issues with our guest list. Family came first and he invited a good portion of his friends. There was one friend he wanted to invite but I didn't really know why. They never seemed close. I asked for his address and was told he didn't know if he had his number. I told him if he didn't even have his number he shouldn't be invited..but was still 100% willing to add him to the list if that's what FH wanted. I think he got his number from someone and texted him but never got an address/response.

View Quoted Comment I posted my response for reading this. I agree.

My FH has about 50-60 more people on the guest list than I do. He has more friends. He has more family. We are still splitting the cost. His people are my people now and vice versa.

I really wish you the best of luck..

View Quoted Comment That's all well and good but your family is just as important to you as his friends are to him. So why are you the one who has to sacrifice inviting the people you love? It's not fair. You're making excuses for him now..

I'm sorry I've posted so much but this whole thing really strikes a chord with me.

View Quoted Comment

The wedding is the beginning of a "we". Not mine and yours. The fact that he wants to pay for a bunch of guests and pay for it himself means that he is not compromising on something that is important to you. This is not just a wedding red flag, it's a marriage red flag.

My fiance has a larger list than me as well. He is paying for everything. He also is inviting work people and some whom I've never met. If he ever told me I couldn't invite family, regardless if we spoken lately or even get along,(or even friends), there would be a huge issue. I would let him know he would be on his own and there would be NO wedding. We have been together for 10 years. Even if we were together for 1 year, that is not acceptable. Family comes first no matter how distant. Then friends Then co-workers. You better put your foot down now. Also, whoever contributes is very selfish. That's an absurd way to look at things. I'm sure some of my fiance's friends gifts maybe a little larger than some of my family's gifts. But that doesnt matter. Family is family. Be strong and let him know he is wrong. Email him all these comments. Maybe he will get a clue. Tell him if your family doesnt show, neither will you. Good Luck!!

My Fiance and I have a large guest list as well. If both of you are not willing to compromise on people, maybe you can compromise on the food option and or drink option. The more people invited, the more alcohol (if you are having alcohol) and food will have to be provided, which we all know is not cheap. Maybe you can lower the costs by having a pizza bar, or everyone bring a dish, or even having like a Mexican restaurant cater. If he won't compromise on food either then see if he or his family will pay for the difference in costs for "his guests". I hope it works out!