Guests Have Decided to Go Vegan and I Don't Have Food For Them

Mary, honestly since they already picked their meal, I would say it's too late. You have too much on your plate to deal with people who want last minute special accommodations.

I just can't get over how rude that is.

Last minute is a fairly relative term. I would consider how close that is to be last minute because I don't know what else people have going on in their life.

I'm not judging dietary. I just believe deciding something originally then going back on it is rude. I think it would be 100% different if they had said this in the beginning.

Also, I do agree with everyone else. Your caterer can easily do vegan. I would be annoyed with both parties.

That is hardly a comparable circumstance at all.

@catlady5x - When did I say I was going to lie to a guest?!

Are you referring to me praising my caterer for being transparent about their abilities? I stand by that. I've seen caterers vegan option as a plate of iceberg lettuce. Sure, they CAN provide a vegan option, but clearly the caterer wasn't skilled enough in vegan cooking to provide something creative or interesting.

I agree that is totally annoying. It's pretty absurd to suggest that you would change your caterer at this point. I agree that you should find a vegan restaurant and have their meals brought in.

Your guests aren't rude. Your caterer is. Esp. in New York.

Agree with O&S, this is pure laziness on the caterers part but at the same time, they might be trying to cover their ass if someone complains. I've seen this more with smaller businesses though.

What is being cooked in butter that can't be substituted?

Any caterer worth their salt would be able to make a vegan meal. If they went to any type of culinary school they should be able to figure it out

The comment about lying to a guest was mine, which was a joke, not serious (hence the haha and saying I honestly don't know what to do). I just love butter so much I'd be tempted to say it (but wouldn't).

I do like the suggestion of finding a vegan restaurant to deliver two meals. I think that's your best bet.

Okay this is on the caterer but for real ... people are actually saying to find a new caterer 6 weeks before your wedding? That's absurd and unrealistic.

I agree with other ideas about bringing in your own vegan meal as annoying as that is.

@LillyBean17 That is exactly their reasoning. They do not feel like they can provide a good enough vegan main plate option that stands up to the creativity and quality of their non-vegan option. They are 100 percent fine with having other food brought in, they have just said from day one that they won't accommodate it.

Then you have your answer, mary, if they are fine with bringing other food in, then bring other food in. To make it less work on you, you could ask the guests if they have a local vegan restaurant they like to order from.

There's not a lot of "skill" needed to produce a couple of vegan meals, especially with this much notice. I had a vegan friend visiting last week and I found plenty of good vegan recipes to make while she was here. It wasn't difficult, and only required a bit of compassion and understanding. Your caterer is being unreasonable and you are being judgemental. Oh, and if we were to feed my vegan friend any kind of animal product she would be physically ill as her body isn't used to eating those things any longer. It should not be an inconvenience to accommodate someone's dietary needs, even if it is new to them, or foreign to you. Just a tip, consider them for dessert too...we grabbed a few vegan cupcakes for our friend so she didn't miss the cake experience.

Ok, then you have to bring other meals in. I understand not believing that these people are "genuine" vegans, but you still need to respect their choices as the host. If you aren't willing to do that, you should rescind the invitation (which would make you a bad Mary,BAD!). It's annoying yeah, but these people are supposed to be friends so you should want them happy after all.

Also, six weeks is a TON of notice. Stop using the term last minute.

What is your menu??

@rustythedog - thanks, that's a good idea. they're local so hopefully they'll have an idea

@catlady5x - Obviously I didn't think they were irrelevant. This has nothing to do with me not wanting to accommodate them. The details were important because first they were asking about the meat quality and when we weren't sure, suddenly they're vegan.

I've also never met these people (they're family friends of FH's) making this all the more annoying.

Yeah.....people telling you to find a new caterer this last are being completely absurd. I wouldn't do it either for someone who just changed their eating habits. Or are trying the new trendy diet of the month. I think your guests are being very rude as well. I would probably call a restaurant nearby that makes vegan food and have them deliver two meals. Done.