Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

The Potters
Master September 2009

Guests that didn't give a gift

The Potters, on September 28, 2009 at 3:00 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 72

Our wedding was 9/12/09 and we had about 5 people who came to our wedding but did not give us a gift, not even a card! Did this happen to you? I don't expect something expensive, but at least a card or something. I feel somewhat mad at those "friends" who didn't bring something for us.

72 Comments

Latest activity by Abbey, on October 25, 2019 at 9:51 PM
  • Shell
    Master June 2009
    Shell ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Yep. and from some of out closest friends. thats just how it is tho. its lame to be mad, the shouldnt have to bring us a gift, but i kinda was annoyed. oh well it happens.

    • Reply
  • Finally a Mrs.
    Expert September 2010
    Finally a Mrs. ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I dont think it would matter, as long as they are here to spend my day with me is all that counts. with the way the econ is i would be surprised to get anything lol

    • Reply
  • Analy aka T-waffle
    Master October 2009
    Analy aka T-waffle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Times are tough, and I am thankful that people care enough just to take time off of work and drive out to be with us for the day (after all, that costs money). Gifts are nice, but not necessary. The gift of their friendship and time is more than enough.

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Expert September 2009
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I know what you mean. We had some. But we weren't too surprised by who some of them were because we know times are tough for some of them. I was a little shocked to not at least get a card though! And others, well, was a little shocked to not get anything, but then you feel bad for thinking like that. So, I just enjoy what we did get and are still getting from others. However, do you still have to send a thank you to those that didn't even give a card????

    • Reply
  • The Potters
    Master September 2009
    The Potters ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I am more annoyed than mad. And somewhat hurt. One who didn't give was my best friend's Mom whom I've known for 14 years. I gurantee when my friend gets married that my Mom will get her an awesome gift. I think you need to bring something no matter what. Make a card if you have to! :o)

    • Reply
  • W
    Master June 2010
    wowjunkie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I understand your feeling completely, and I know I'll share the sentiment as well when my big day comes, but it's REALLY expensive to get to weddings nowadays, and then you have to have clothes, maybe even hotel accommodations. Some people can put out upwards of $300 just to show up - not including a gift. Yes, I agree at least a card, but some people don't see it that way. It's still annoying!

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Expert September 2009
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    That one guest I can really understand! Wow! Even if I can't make the wedding I still send a gift. Oh well.

    • Reply
  • The Potters
    Master September 2009
    The Potters ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Also, this was a $30,000 wedding. All of our guests were from in town. So nobody had to spend much to get there. You came to a beautiful wedding, bring something! Thanks for all your advice!

    • Reply
  • W
    Master June 2010
    wowjunkie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    It shouldn't even matter how much you spend on the wedding. That doesn't justify it or un-justify it. It's just good etiquette to at least bring a card.

    • Reply
  • Finally a Mrs.
    Expert September 2010
    Finally a Mrs. ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Like i said i would just be greatful that they took the time to come and share that special day with you. thats all id ask for

    • Reply
  • Melissa
    Super September 2009
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We didnt get gifts from a bunch of people. I kind of wonder if something happened to the gift rather than people not bringing one. I personally would never shower up to a wedding without a gift but I really dont care either way, it was more important to me to have the people I love there with us to share our big day than a gift...

    • Reply
  • Melissa
    Super September 2009
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Wow... shower up... ahaha I meant SHOW up.

    On another note we got SO much from the people at our wedding we really didnt notice not getting things... I mean obviously we NOTICED but I guess it just didnt matter as much.

    • Reply
  • Konichiwa
    Master January 2010
    Konichiwa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'd say it's poor form to show up completely empty handed to a wedding. Even if you can't afford a gift I think a card is the least you could do. I know times are tough but really, how long did the people know about the wedding and still can't afford $3 for a card.

    • Reply
  • Lisa *
    Lisa * ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    You may still get gifts. There is a certain time frame that a wedding gift is still appropriate. It may even be a couple of months. If not, just send a 'thank-you for helping us celebrate our special day' card and be done with it. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • HIS_WIFEY_09
    Devoted November 2009
    HIS_WIFEY_09 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I TOTALLY AGREE WITH KONICHIWA. ESPECIALLY IF THE WEDDING IS LOCAL AND NOONE IS TRAVELING. IT DOSNT MATTER IF ITS A SMALL GIFT BUT ITS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS. I PERSONALLY WOULDNT SHOW UP AT A WEDDING WITHOUT A GIFT. THATS JUST MY THOUGHT AND I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND HOW U FEEL.

    • Reply
  • Adriana
    Expert September 2009
    Adriana ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We got a lot of gifts but a lot people also didnt give gifts. I would be embaressed to show up to a party with out a gift.

    • Reply
  • southerngirl
    Super December 2009
    southerngirl ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    It's actually better etiquette to not bring something to the wedding because then the bride and groom have to get it all safely back to their home sometime after the wedding and before they leave on the honeymoon. The better thing to do is to send a gift to their home (whatever address the RSVP says) before the wedding or within a few weeks after the wedding. How long after the wedding is debatable depending on which places you look but personally I think a month should be the max. I know it sounds a little weird since it seems everyone brings a gift to the wedding, but when I was researching various etiquette stuff for a women's tea party this made sense.

    • Reply
  • Aussie Bride
    Master February 2010
    Aussie Bride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We are doing a wedding registry so that people can purchase things online to be delivered to us. I dont expect my family to bring gifts since they are travelling halfway across the world to be there but I would be shocked if they didnt bring a card. I think that people who have not had to travel to weddings should always get a gift no matter how small. But there is no excuse to not at least bring a card. I would never go to a wedding without a gift.

    • Reply
  • Jessy
    Master May 2010
    Jessy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I might be in the minority here, but I get really bothered by the fact that so many people seem to feel entitled to receive gifts. It doesn't matter how much money a couple chooses to spend on their wedding... gifts are not obligatory.

    For me, the presence of the people I care about at my wedding IS a gift. I don't expect any thing more from them. Yes, I will be absolutely thrilled when some folks DO give me gifts... but I don't expect them, and I won't be bothered if I don't get any.

    The purpose of getting married and invited guests to the ceremony and reception is all about celebrating the love and commitment that a couple shares. It shouldn't be about getting presents.

    • Reply
  • JJ
    Master December 2009
    JJ ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Maybe they are thinking about that rule --where you have one year to give the couple a gift???????????

    But most likely, you won't see one. Sorry. I'm sure I will be in the same boat.

    On another note, I hate it when I don't get "thank you" notes promptly from the bride and groom and then they don't note specifically all that I gave them, including little additional bonus knick knack gifts. It makes me wonder whether they got them.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics