Guests who didn't give gifts/cards

I cant wait for some answers on this! If the same thing happens to me I will need to know

I'd seriously let it go. If they ask you how you spent your giftcard, check, etc, then you can mention that you never got it.

You don't want to be "that person"

This may not really answer your question, but I think you should send a Thank You regardless of whether you received a gift. You should just thank them for sharing and supporting in your special day.

Yeah I would do the same, just send a thank you note saying thanks for coming and let it go. Chances are, if their card was stolen they will mention it when you don't cash the check

You don't chase someone down for money or gifts... I'm with Jen, if they ask how you are enjoying it, then you can mention that you didn't get it...but it seems rather gauche to be speaking with someone for the specific purpose of ascertaining whether they "forgot" your gift or not. BTW: as far as etiquette is concerned, they have six months from the day of the wedding to send you a gift.

I'd a) send thank you notes to all guests as quickly as possible, and then b) send a general FB message saying something like, "We have reason to believe some cards/gifts may have been stolen. If you sent us a gift and have not received a thank you note, please let us know." That allows you to find out whether there was a problem, without appearing to say to invidividuals, "How dare you didn't give us a gift!"

Thank you for not bringing a gift but enjoying our free food and alcohol, cheapskate... Next time please stay home....

That'll get the point across.. Hahahha I'm joking. I'd let it go when I did mine i didn't sent a gift thank you unless i got one and I surely wasn't going to ask whether they got us anything because I didn't particularly care... I was just glad to see both the families!

Others may disagree with me but I really don't think there's a good way to bring that up. I just don't know how you would even approach that conversation -- "Hey, so we thought it was a little weird that we didn't get a gift from you, did it go missing?"

If they wrote you a check and you never cash it, they'll probably bring it up at some point. Or, just do what Laura suggested and send a "Thanks for coming" note -- if they brought a gift and it didn't make it to your hands, this might prompt them to ask about it.

Can you check with whoever helped gather your cards/gifts to make sure none got left behind somewhere? If you legitimately think things were stolen, that's a whole other issue.

@Michelle I just spit out my iced coffee reading your comment! Hahaha!

Send the thank you for coming note and then never invite them to anything again. BOOM lol

I like 2d's suggestion. We had guests not give anything, but it wasn't out of character (though, really?!?) so we let it go. And by let it go, I mean, I'll remember that for when you get married or have a baby shower.

If it's truly out of character for them to NOT give a gift, and you haven't noticed new things coming off the registry recently, and you know there are some extenuating circumstances that may keep them from giving a gift (like unexpected medical bills, etc.), I think 2d's suggestion is probably the best way to go.

Yeah, you can send a thank you note for coming if they are super close...assuming they are since you expected a card/gift. Agree that bluntly asking if their gift may have been misplaced is a little forward. They will come to you if you did not cash a check or ask how your like their gift.

If you REALLY want to put it out there you can post something on social media. But I'm anti social media for making big statements so I'd let it go.

I like what 2nd Bride said. You could also have family help spread the word that some gifts may have been stolen and the couple would hate not thanking you for your gift. Something like that. I've been to 3 weddings where I gave a gift and never received a thank you note. I thought it was rude and if the gift was presumed stolen I would hope they would tell me.

I agree with some of the others that I would just let it know. If cards went missing, at least one of them had to have had a check in it and that person will reach out to you when you don't cash it.

Yep-I like the general message (email, fb, family or friends word of mouth..whatever) saying that you think things were stolen. However---if they are true jackasses, they may say that they gave and didn't really..just sayin

I know it's not about the gifts..but people amaze me when it comes to the lack of gifts given.

I would just send them a thank you for attending and celebrating you wedding with you. For those that did send a gift I would add a thank you specifically for the gift by name.

If I received a thank you note that did not mention the monetary gift or actual gift but just for attending, I would contact you to make sure you did get it. Thus by not mentioning the gift you are letting them know you did not receive one. This is the point in which you could say, we had an idea that something was not right.

I too like what 2nd bride said but would add something along these lines but am not sure if it would work or offend.

Send a general thank you to everyone except those whom you know gave a gift. For them I would specify the gift in the thank you. Then on the facebook page I would add "if your gift was not specifically noted in your thank you card, please notify us. Thank you."

If you receive no notifications, then you can assume no cards or gifts were missing but if someone has given you a gift and it is not noted, they will know that you did not receive it and you guys can take steps accordingly. Good luck!

My ex's and my wedding....we requested that no gifts be given, but in lieu of that, gift cards for store X or Y would be appreciated. It's common enough to do that here as most couples live together prior to marrying and already have their household set up.

We had 65 guests and got a grand total of $150 in gift cards. Some people gave five and 10 dollar amounts, but most gave nothing at all, stating they thought a gift card is tacky, hey, where's the buffet and bar? LOL. My then-husband was mortified as 90% of the guests were on his side. He wanted to say something, particularly since about ten guests gave gifts after all, all of them useless and we couldn't use (and had no receipts for).

But I said let it go. You just kinda have to to save your own sanity. But as others have said, if your guests ask how their gift went down, you can honestly say you didn't get it.

Not sure what you would say, but just for the record, I don't ever put a check in the card. It's always cash, so if any went missing it may be hard to determine.

Whenever I write a check out, I always write on the back "For Deposit Only"

This way, tellers will know not to cash it and if it is cashed to the wrong account, I would be able to trace where it went.