Guests who didn't give gifts/cards

It's a sticky, but increasingly common, situation.

At my daughter's wedding, we were surprised that there was no gift from a very close colleague of my husband's (who attended with his wife and adult daughter). It was a formal, top shelf/open bar wedding, but it was never planned with gift giving in mind. However, for a variety of reasons, we were expecting something from him. There was nothing. When my husband mentioned it to him so that he could put a stop on the check, the man responded by saying, "No way! We didn't write a check -- it was cash! I know because we stopped at the ATM and received three crisp, one hundred dollar bills". Umm...ATM's dispense twenty dollar bills. Now, it feels weird, and I'm sorry we mentioned it.

So, my advice is to let it go, and thank them for attending (in writing). The economy makes weddings tough on some guests, and it should be within working people's budgets to at least pick up a card and a $20 gift from Home Goods, not everyone does.

We sent thanks to every guest who came. For those who we didn't get a gift from, we thanked them for being with us to celebrate on our big day. Left it at that. That way if there was a mix-up, they could say something like hey, did you not get this? We were surprised at the few who didn't give gifts too. Sometimes you just dont know with some people!

2d nailed it.

My fh and I went to his friends wedding 2 years ago... after the wedding they were shocked that they hadn't received anything from a lot of people as well, more specifically the grooms grandparents. The groom asked his parents if they thought it was weird that the grandparents didn't get them a card... long story short, someone stole one of the card baskets they had out... there was about $4,000 worth of checks, cash and giftcards in those cards! The same thing happened to another couple at the same venue the following day...

I'd suggest asking through the grapevine... as Amy V. said ask either your parents or in-laws what they think.

I recently got married and was shocked by the number of people that didn't get us a gift. Also, every person that responded no (over 50 people) did not get us anything. Is it normal if you respond no to a wedding to not give a gift? I always sent a gift and now I am not sure what to do moving forward. We thought we lost cards at the wedding, but that wasn't the case. My husband told a friend of his we think cards were stolen and his friend asked a day later where we were registered. My husband told him not to worry about, and the guy never got us anything. Our wedding was fairly expensive per person. We don't expect anything crazy but something small and thoughtful is nice. We always go all out on our friend's weddings - we really felt upset that our friends didn't even think to do something for us. Yes, they came to the wedding and that's what matters. Now I know moving forward how to give gifts for these kinds of events. I'm happy to see we're not the only one's! Maybe this is more common than I thought.

I was disappointed by my husband's elder relatives who attended our wedding and who didn't even bother giving a greeting card. We had made sure to quietly tell our close friends and other family members not to give us gifts because we knew they couldn't afford to, but these are family members who are not financially struggling. We even went overboard on gifts for one of their daughter's baby shower this past summer. Having our wedding on a yacht and spending quite a bit per person, we had expected better from family members. So, I'm still debating on whether to send them thank you notes.

Give a thank you card to those who gave you gifts/cards. The thank you notes are really for that purpose anyhow. When those who chose not to don't receive a thank you card they'll get the hint. Initially I thought well at least if they can come Ill be happy. But most people who came did not bring a gift yet felt the need to eat all our food and then at the same time not even in person congratulate us. That's just plain rude.

To that cheapskate who came with his wife and three children to the wedding, who all ate, drank and danced all evening long, a curse upon you and your houses. I am sorry people, if you cant at least present a card and well-wish for a couple make up a social lie and stay home rather than embarrass yourself and your family. And he is brother of the groom! What a tightwad. Cheapness is not flattering on a woman, but on a man I find it even more despicable. This guy KR is a real mudskipper.