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Melissa
Beginner October 2020

Halloween wedding date - but groomsmen have kids

Melissa, on August 3, 2019 at 6:28 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 44
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Hello again! I feel like I'm posting constantly in these forums. Anywho, to get to the heart of the matter, my ideal wedding date is friday 10/30/2020. For spiritual reasons (it's close to a spiritual holiday but not on it) and it's on a blue moon (so romantic! At least to my cheesy nature-loving butt). However, there's this venue I ADORE and it's part of the Massachusetts Audubon Society, but they only do weddings on Saturdays and Sundays. So to book this venue I'd have to change my date...to Halloween.

As much as I adore Halloween, I was trying to avoid having it conflict with my spiritual holiday annnnd make it so guests with kids don't have to choose between family traditions or me and my fiance. Two of his groomsmen have kids, one is a few months old at the time of this post, and the other groomsman's kids are I think 3 and 5. So they'd be about 4 and 6 I think. How do I handle this?


I know it sounds dumb but I really love this venue and really was hoping for an October wedding (October is my favorite month) if not one that has that moon...

44 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah, on August 6, 2020 at 12:37 AM
  • M
    VIP December 2019
    Michelle ·
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    I would say go with the venue! It's your day and Halloween is not Christmas.

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  • Melissa
    Beginner October 2020
    Melissa ·
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    In case I need to clarify, I'm willing to change my date to get the venue, but I'm also willing to consider a different venue. I could also do November 1st, but it's not my first pick for a date. Just not sure what the mose sensible option is.
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  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
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    Are your groomsmen’s kids coming to the wedding? You could offer to chip in for babysitting so they can still go trick or treating. I don’t think it’s fair to take away a little kid’s Halloween.
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  • Melissa
    Beginner October 2020
    Melissa ·
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    That's fair, it's also what I was thinking. Young kids missing a Halloween isn't as big of a deal as missing an actual major holiday, I'm just not sure my guests would agree :/
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  • Melissa
    Beginner October 2020
    Melissa ·
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    As someone who loves Halloween I also see this side of it, I would hate to know their kids aren't having fun. I never considered covering their babysitting though but I would definitely do that!!
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  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
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    You could cover their babysitting to enjoy Halloween in their own neighborhood or depending on how many kids there will be at the wedding, set up a fun Halloween room for the kids with fun movies and snacks, let them come in their costumes too.
    Halloween is my favorite holiday and I would’ve been heartbroken to miss out. When else can you dress as a fairy princess pirate? I think the parents would appreciate it a lot if you could fit this into your budget.
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  • M
    VIP December 2019
    Michelle ·
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    I'm big on all holidays when it comes to my kids. Do I leave work early so I can dress them up and take them trick or treating yes I do. But would I miss a wedding to take them trick or treating no. Some parents might even feel a sigh of relief that they don't have to take their kids trick or treating lol. You could always have a really late wedding. We would always take our kids trick or treating about 6-730/8 go home get dressed up and meet our friends for an adult Halloween party from about 9/10-2-3am.

    I think some adults might appreciate a late night out if you have a no kids wedding. Good luck and remember is your day. You can compromise on a lot of things but I don't think the venue/date should be one of them unless it's absolutely unavoidable

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  • M
    VIP December 2019
    Michelle ·
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    That's another great idea!!

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  • C
    Dedicated May 2023
    Candace ·
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    If you do have the party on Halloween, possibly you could set up a candy basket of sorts at each table at the reception. Give the kids the opportunity to “trick or treat” from table to table. Tell their parents that they are free to dress up! If you’re okay with that, of course. It could be a good compromise and the groomsmen would appreciate your thoughtfulness😊
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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    Thus depends on how open you are. Can the kids wear costume to the reception and go trick or treating around the tables. You could buy some candy for each table and just whenever in the night the kids can go to each table during the dance time. I think some couple would feel that this would take the spotlight off them but others will be fine with it. Maybe even get some fir DJ table.
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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    Lol we had the same idea.
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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    This is a tough one, have you asked them to be in the bridal party yet? If so I would just point blank ask them. I'm sure they'd be glad you're being considerate.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I wouldn’t miss Halloween with my young children for a wedding, but I guess it depends on your priorities. What’s more important to you, your bridal party or a date?
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  • Katherine
    Expert July 2019
    Katherine ·
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    Are kids invited? Incorporate several bags of candy into your dessert table, or have little candy bags as favors. If the kids aren't invited, maybe they can trick or treat with a friend's family

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  • T
    Expert May 2010
    Theresa ·
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    What time of day would you have your wedding? If it's early enough, they could finish up before trick or treating.

    Like Kelly said, I'd ask the groomsmen for their thoughts. I'm sure they'd be happy to give them!

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  • Kat_
    Super October 2019
    Kat_ ·
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    I would let the kids wear costumes! You can have candy at every table and special treat bags for them to go around and collect it! That would be adorable!
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  • Sandy Yoga
    Dedicated January 2007
    Sandy Yoga ·
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    I wouldn't miss taking my young son trick or treating for a wedding. I would have to bow out. It also might not be simply paying for a baby sitter. I would want to take him myself, but besides that, we would need someone to give out candy at our house too. My parents always do that (one at my house, one at my brother's) so we can take our children out. They live where they get no trick-or-treaters.

    All that said - it's your wedding, and I wouldn't feel any sort of way for you choosing Halloween, but I would prioritize taking my son out.
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  • Naikesha
    Super September 2020
    Naikesha ·
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    Have your wedding on Halloween, if he's groomsmen he's close to the groom so maybe just talk to them about it. At 4 and 6 kids dont stay up that late, and shouldn't be eating tons of candy anyway. You don't know their situation until you talk to them they may be ok with it or the mom may take the kids then leave them with sitter to come.

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  • Sandy Yoga
    Dedicated January 2007
    Sandy Yoga ·
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    What their kids should and should not be doing is none of your (or anyone else's) business.
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  • Molly
    Super October 2020
    Molly ·
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    It's your wedding you choose what you want to have. I feel like with any wedding you will have some guest that will not be able to come so you have to keep that in mind with it being on Halloween. I also believe that Halloween is not a major holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas so I believe people would come. Also it's a wedding so if someone who cares about you would hopefully choose the wedding over going trick or treating with their children. That is just my opinion
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