Handfasting?

I don't know what you need, but I love the handfasting/Unbreakable Vow connection.

It's a very cute link to the Harry Potter unbreakable vow and I like the Christian symbolism that MoonRide found for using it. My knowledge of handfasting comes from celtic historical fiction so could be off, but this is what I know it to mean: When a priest was not available to wed a couple in ireland or scotland in previous centuries, the couple would perform this ceremony which would make them husband and wife only for 1 year. giving them time to find a priest to make it a legal union in the eyes of the church and law. so by itself it's a bit unofficial and temporary, but incorporating it into a ceremony sounds really nice. I used to altar serve at weddings as a teenager and saw a lot of varying cultural traditions. Mexicans and Filipinos often use a wedding lasso to bind the couple together. the way you will use it sound similar to this.

I don't actually have any experience with it so I don't know what you need, but I have a story and maybe some advice. I worked a wedding reception a few months ago and they did it, the bride and groom struggled the whole night to do everything with their hands tied together, the bride ended up barely eating or drinking anything all night because she couldn't do much with just her left hand. I don't know anything about it so I don't know if it's typical to be tied together all night, just wanted to let you know that it can get difficult.

I don't know a whole lot about it, but I really like what @MoonRide said. That's a cute idea!

@Breanna- I think I would probably refuse to be tied up the whole night, that would make things very difficult.

@MoonRide- I'll have to ask my preacher what he thinks/if he's ever done that before, (ETA: Do I need the stone?? or is that part that you guys added yourself? )

ETA: @Crystal- I thought so, but I have to figure out what I need

Here is our hand fasting / ribbon ceremony:

Ribbon Ceremony

Tom and Elizabeth press their raised hands together and Alex (my step daughter) begins wrapping a ribbon loosely around their hands.

Tying the knot did not start out being an abstract term; the lovers' knot that binds two hands together represents an everlasting union, and the tying of a knot is still practiced in various ways in many cultures around the world as a symbol of love, affection, faith, friendship, and unity.

The two ends represent your separate lives before today; but looped over into a knot, you are joined as one.

Rev. Dayl loops the two ends into a loose slip knot and then removes the ribbons from the couples’ hands. She then hands one end to Tom and the other end to Elizabeth.

Love made fast by the tying of a knot.

Tom and Elizabeth both pull their ends, tightening the knot in the center of the ribbons.

Rev. Dayl takes ribbons and places them on the table.

Keep these ribbons in a special place, as a symbol of your promise to one another.

I'm planning on doing it as part of my ceremony since I'm of Irish heritage. (Which is kind of funny because my fiance is of Swedish heritage so my parents call him "the viking" who as come to drag away their little Irish girl.)

@Kate- haha that's cute

Another question- Does the handfasting replace the vows, or can the hadnfasting replace the unity candle??

We're doing one, since I come from Ireland, and my family would probably die if I didn't ..lol. We are using 4 cords. Each cord color represents different things - red is will, love, strength, fertility, and passion. Etc. etc..Each "vow" will be followed with the wrapping of one cord. One of ours is "Will you share in each others laughter, and always look for the brightness and positive?" We say yes, and then the officiant wraps one, and says "And so the binding is made." Then, once they are all tied, he will say " as your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust. The bond of marriage is not formed by these cords, but rather by the values you have made. For always, you hold in your hands the fate of this union. Above you are stars, and below you is Earth. Like stars your love should be a constant source of light and like the earth a firm foundation from which to grow. May these hands be blessed this day. May they always hold each other. May they have the strength to hang on during the storms of stress, and in the dark of disillusionment. May they remain tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wonderous love. May they build a relationship founded in love and rich in caring. May they be your protection, shelter and guide for each other." Then, we'll slip out of it, and hand it to my MOH,who will be holding the wooden box for it. There are a few be sites where you can find the meaning of each color of cord, and choose them from there. ETA autocorrect

So, @GeekyBride and the others planning this in your wedding, is it your vows or does it take the place of the unity candle ceremony part??

These are our vows. We weren't doing a unity candle. We will exchange rings right after , with the officiant saying " I will now ask you to seal the vows you've shared with the giving and receiving of rings" He's got another three sentences, as we put on the rings, then announces us as married.

@GeekyBride- Ok My mom keeps getting onto me about how I should have a unity candle and so I didn't know if this replaced that

Do it however you want! It's your wedding

Maybe try for some info from the SCA- society of creative anachronism- hand fastings are done there a lot.

This is more or less what I do; I wouldn't also to a unity candle; it's too much for one ceremony.

Matt and Carole have chosen to seal their vows with a traditional hand fasting ceremony. In Europe, until the mid 1700’s, few unions were sanctified in a church or synagogue. Rather, they were celebrated by a simple hand fasting ceremony in which the two partners joined hands over the village anvil, in the fields or in the groves of trees. Today, we build upon this tradition, and while we don’t have the village anvil…….

Please hold hands, right hand to right hand, left hand to left hand.

When you found each other, an ancient circle was closed. You have become Anam Cara for each other. Anam Cara translated from Irish means soul friend. Your Anam Cara is the person who supports and challenges you, who brings you to your full potential, who brings you joy.

Notice as you hold hands that your arms form a figure 8. Let this be a symbol of the eternal promise that is brought into the light by the presence of your Anam Cara.

Notice too, that the unity of the figure 8 holds within it two distinct circles. Let this remind us that even as you are bound together, you are two separate and unique individuals.

It is one of the mysteries of love, that in the eternal circle of belonging you can find freedom.

May your love be the wellspring that nourishes you, refreshes you and reveals to you your inner most nature. The green cord of renewal is draped.

May the warmth, generosity and creativity of your love touch everyone in your life. The red cord, the cord of possibility, the red cord of inevitable togetherness and boundless passion, is draped.

May you learn from each other and grow in ways you’ve never dreamed. The yellow cord, the cord of wisdom and creativity, is draped.

May you surround yourself with history and future, and always be open to the surprises of tomorrow, even as you remember yesterday with fondness. The purple cord, the cord of magic and mystery is draped.

May you always be ready for adventure, and may returning home be the best part of your journey. The white cord of peace and purity is draped.

May you value your relationship and realize that it is a priceless gift to be nurtured and treasured. The gold cord of intimate richness is draped.

This is the final cord of Handfasting. It will connect Carole and Matt together with bonds of love. For such bonds to be strong, they need support - not only from the couple themselves, but from you; their loving and supportive community of family and friends. As I bind their hands together with the six cords, please let your thoughts focus on the loving strength you bring to their union.

The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords but instead by your vows. May these promises shape your every day together, as long as you shall live.

Celebrant ties the cords. "And the binding has been made".

With the entwining of this knot I tie all the desires, dreams, love, and happiness to your lives for as long as love shall last. As this knot is tied, so are your lives now bound. Woven into this cord, into its very fibers, are all the hopes of your friends and family, and of yourselves, for your new life together.

@MoonRide- Ah, okay Are you doing a unity candle as well or does the handfasting kind of replace that for your wedding?? :o

ETA: @Celia- I figured a unity candle would be too much if I did decide to do handfasting, I just wanted to be sure so I could rebut my mom if she insisted on me trying to do both. I'll have to check and see if my pastor/preacher is familiar with handfasting, if not, is there someplace where I can show him how the knots are made? Or are they normal knots?? I really like the way you do it

I just have the cords draped over their hand. When I go in at the end, I just take one set of six ends and throw them over the hands again; I don't really tie them.

Our family is big on this tradition as we're Scottish-Irish. I plan on doing the God's Knot, also known as the Cord of the Three Strands. But the hand fasting definitely would tie in with HP!

We're doing one! I like how Celia does it

This is great info! I think we'll be doing a handfasting ceremony too, to honor my dad's side (some scottish) since we're doing a traditional Korean ceremony as well during the reception. Since our officiant is our friend and doesn't have a clue, I think I'll have to combine parts of what I've read here as well as other sites. We'll probably still do basic vows (don't think we'll be writing our own) and then the rings exchange after that.