Has anyone eloped and regretted it...or were you really glad that you did?

I haven't, but I've talked to a lot of fellow military spouses who have. None of them regret it. One who sticks in my mind was engaged for 3 days before they ran away to Vegas to get married. She called up her mom, said, "Aaron and I are going to get married! See ya when we get back!" I asked if they had a "wedding" when they got back and she goes, "nope! it was good enough for me. We had a little congrats party, but nothing like a wedding reception."

I am eloping tomorrow. And I don't think that I will regret it. we plan on doing something next year for our family and friends but I think that once we are married it will tak a lot of stress off of us. I wish you luck.

Thank you ladies! I think it will be extremely romantic to elope....

and Amanda....that's wonderful....Congratulations!!!!!

I am sorry about the loss of your sister as I know first hand how hard that is, I lost my brother two years ago. (feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk).

We are having a civil ceremony next month here in Germany (so it's kind of an elopement) although we are planning an actual wedding with family and friends back in the States at a later time. We've told all of our close friends and family the plan but not announcing it on FB or doing any name changes ect until after our bigger ceremony. I think you should do what you feel is best. I have actually considered just eloping and not doing the bigger one but I feel personally I would regret it.

I have not but so far in all this wedding planning, I've had one nightmare/dream, and it was about us running away and eloping cause we are so sick of all the stress surrounding wedding planning.

In the dream, I come home, and see my dress hanging there, never worn, and I lose it. I am so sorry I eloped, and never got a chance to wear my dress, and I feel so ashamed. I'm afraid to tell my family. I woke up freaking out thinking it really happened, and it took a bit for me to realize we didn't do that.

I think I'd regret it.

But since it's your 2nd wedding, and you've had the big affair before, I kinda think it would not be that much of a regret. At this point, it's really just about the two of you.

As someone never married before, and never had the expereince of being a bride, and having my family there, and all the 'traditional' things like my dad walking me down the aisle, and my father/daughter dance & our '1st dance". I really don't want to miss those moments.

Thank you Ginny...yes...it's only been a few months...so it's still really tough. I'm sorry for your loss too.

Congrats on your upcoming civil ceremony! How much later are you planning your large ceremony?

@ Jaclyn that is a nightmare....well I agree.... you should not elope!

For for me you are right it would be different...since I had the traditional wedding.....but still I may miss having my friends and family there.

I guess we will really have to think about what is the most important thing to us...

a stress free elopement just the two of us...or a small wedding with just our closest friends and family...

We started planning a larger wedding and then completely changed everything. I wanted to get married on a beach somewhere with just the two of us but we decided to do a small, intimate wedding and only have our kids and parents there. I know atleast one of my sisters are hurt she was not invited, but if I invited her, I would have had to invite my other two sisters, their husbands, hubby's siblings..... and that would make the guest list way too big for what we were planning. I don't have any regrets. I think we had a beautiful wedding and the day will always be very special for us. I was worried about him though.... this was my second wedding so I have had the big traditional wedding... but it was his first. I asked him if he had any regrets afterwards and he said not at all and it was perfect. When we were discussing options, he was very adament about not going to the JOP. He did want something special even if it wasn't a huge affair.

We were sort of forced to elope, as none of the local jurisdictions had same-sex marriage at the time. But we ended up being very happy with our wedding. We got an intimate wedding, with a chance to talk at length with our guests instead of just spending three seconds saying hello. And then we had an evening dance at-home reception.

Ive never heard anyone regret it. (that i know of) after planning this i know why. Im so sorry for your loss!

I am so sorry for your loss.

We ditched a big, traditional wedding for a small DW - SO happy we did. I know a few people who eloped and none regretted it. But they wanted the romance of running away together.

I very much understand your not feeling the celebration vibe right now, but may I suggest that you give yourself some more time to grieve before you decide how you want to get married? You and your family could really use some happiness and something to celebrate, once you're ready for it. A wedding combined with a vacation may turn out to be just what you all need, eventually. It was for a couple of our DW guests who had lost their child within the past year.

@Beachy Bride- were having our civil ceremony next month & planning our wedding with family & friends in the States for Spring 2013. Further apart than we originally wanted but were paying for our own wedding & have to factor in the cost of our international flights along with giving our guests plenty of notice since everyone will be traveling for it. We're having our civil ceremony now bc it will make things much easier for us with me living in Germany with FH, plus it's required to have a civil ceremony here first & then you can have a traditional ceremony if you choose. Also, a big reason I want a wedding with family is so were coming together for something to celebrate. My family has had a lot of loss in recent years including my step dad, my moms brother & her baby sister & my brother. I feel we're always together in mourning so actually throwing a wedding is all the more important for me bc of that. Edit: We're planning a small intimate wedding in 2013.

Thanks J&R S. I know....my family has expressed it would be nice to have something happy to focus on...and getting away would be really wonderful for them. I am conflicted...I guess we need to wait and give it more time...but part of me also feels like time is precious...and I don't want to wait too long.

Ginny...that is a lot of mourning...I can see how having a wedding would be good for your family. I am glad that you are doing something to celebrate.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts!

This could just be me, but I think once you are able to envision being happy at your wedding, you'll be okay to move forward with planning. But by all means, do make sure you are happy as you can be at your wedding. I bet your sister would have wanted that, right? What better way to honor her than with a celebration of life and joy...again, when you and your family are ready.

It was my dream to elope my whole life, and it became even stronger after my mom died 2 years ago. I still wanted a real wedding gown, but a super small wedding, even to Vegas. But my DH wouldn't allow it. He wanted a wedding, and he wanted ME to have a wedding since he was convinced I would regret it. Once the night was over, I was very happy with how our wedding turned out, but I didn't enjoy planning like most people. It was a chore to me, and I always wanted to elope in the back of my mind. So when we renew our vows in 5 or 10 years, we are eloping, so I can have MY dream wedding. I don't regret the wedding we had because it turned out stress free (on the day) and really very nice, but I wouldn't have regretted eloping either. You can always elope, and then in a few years have a big renewal party if you want. This wedding is for you and your FH, not your family, or a way to cheer them up. Its for you, and you should do whats best for you two, no matter what anyone else wants.

Thank you J&R S.

<3

I kinda regret getting eloped. I akways wanted to wear a gown and walk down the aisle. I wanted the " I do " part. But We eloped when I was 18 years old. He was in the military and was being deployed. He called me up and asked me what I thought, I was so exited because I thought we would have our religious ceremony when he got back. Fast forward 10 years and 3 kids, I still wish I had my moment. We are planning a small DW in a few months but now I am second guessing that too. I wanted to have my moment and exchange vows and have pictures like everyone but, I am also feeling very guilty about spending extra money when we are married.

@Stephanie T.

I regret not having a real wedding, too. My circumstances were different. But it all came down to most of my family and none of my husband's would be able to attend, so we went to a state where no witnesses were required so as to make it fair to everyone that no one could attend. But I really wish I could have had the dress and flowers and cake and photographer and everything the way I always dreamed. Looking back now, I think my OCD would have overwhelmed me and turned it all into a disaster anyways. But I will never know and that makes me just as sad. Recently my husband mentioned the idea of upgrading my ring. I honestly would rather have a nice picture to hang on the wall and the memories of a dream wedding than to exchange the only nice thing I have from that day. Even though technically it isn't even an actual wedding ring. It was sold as a cheap "promise ring". But I picked it out and I love it. To be honest, I never dreamed of actually being married. But I always wanted a fancy wedding. Instead, I got the marriage without a real wedding. Go figure.