Has anyone here actually NOT invited their problem in laws?

I havent invited a lot of people just because they havent deserved it.

My FMIL has actually told my fiance that we (I) must give up on trying to make amends (for what, I don't even know).

So I thought, if she isn't willing to even be civil with me (FH goes to visit her alone, she literally walks out shops if she sees I am in there, after 10 years she still misspells my name and when I invited her out for dinner in Feb for FH's 30th birthday, I got a message saying dear FH (name) and PARTNER, just a few examples), why should I invite her to my wedding?

You dont have too if its going to be a hassle for you..

what does FH think?

I would definitely talk to her, and ask her what you've done. I'll say that I don't know how you can get away with not inviting her since your FH gets along with her. That would put a bigger strain on the relationship, and what about your marriage? What does your FH think about it? I think I'd invite, and let her decline if she wanted to. Just my thoughts.

I would get your fh involved. Let him make the decision and deal with it. But if he does decide to invite her he better make sure she keeps a civil tongue to you. Or if you are brave enough you tt her. Tell her you would like to repair the relationship bc u are going to be family and it would be such a shame if your future children didnt have a relationship with their grandmother.

Alysia, I haven't spoken to him about it. We already disagree on a couple that he wants to invite and I don't ('cos we haven't seen them since their wedding last year, they've never come to anyones parties since) so I can just imagine how not inviting his mom is going to go down.

Future Mrs. C, I think it goes back to when we used to work together like six years ago (she was paid a monthly salary, I was paid per hour and my FMIL started taking some of my shifts to get paid overtime and I was losing out on money, got sick of it and took her to task about it. She then gave back all the gifts I had given her, said I was denying her the right to earn a living and support her children, bla bla) BUT my FH said that his mother is the same with his sisters boyfriends, so it just seems that she has decided she isn't going to like anyone, ever. He knows his mother is full of rubbish, and he probably would understand why I don't want her there but he would want her there.

Oh Jennifer the granny ship has sailed long ago already. She already told FH if he has children it would be the biggest mistake of his life, and she has other children (who FH hasn't even met) who have children (so she is already a granny) and I don't think she has ever seen any of them, ever.

Well you need to just sit down and ave a nice conversation with him about it especially if it bugs you that bad you know.

Theres the issue that you invite her and she says yes just to come and be rude and then theres the option that you dont invite her and shes rude to you. But like Future Mrs. C said you could invite her and she declines on her own. Its hard when you dont know if people will accept or decline.

Not directly my in-laws, but we didn't invite one of FH's aunts because nobody knows where she lives. FFIL refused to send her a wedding invite c/o another relative since if she cared she would have responded to an email and told someone where she lives. her mother (FH's one remaining grandparent) was invited but declined, supposedly because I'm not Jewish, but FH's family thinks it has more to do with her choosing the crazy aunt over FH's dad.

I'm not inviting my mother. Sometimes you have to do what is in the best interests of yourself and your FH. One way or another FH would never try for force me to not invite her just because he doesn't like her. At the end of the day it was my decision and would've been his job to grin and bear it. Its his mother. Its his choice even if she is a crazy bat. It will get ugly if you try to step in between them and will only prove her right.

I would leave the decision up to FH. Trust me, I get your anger. I’m going through quite a bit of family drama myself. But in the end I decide who I want there from my family and he also has the right to decide who he wants from his family. I would personally leave this one up to your FH.

My parents are not invited.

My FSIL is CA-RAY-ZY. She has done some extremely messed up stuff to FH and I, and she will not be invited to the wedding. It is hard, because I am a pretty nice person and both FH and I have a hard time holdin a grudge. But believe me... if you knew what she had done you would not want her there, either. So yes, it might be a little odd, and we might have to do some explaining to FH's fam, but they will all understand and support our decision

My FMIL is the devil. there is no nice way to put it. i do not consider myself to hate anyone, but this woman walks a fine line on that for me. i do not want her to come whatsoever. however, my FH says that he would be hurt if his mother isn't there and that he might regret it someday even though he knows that she's the devil. so, with a heavy heart, i have to invite her now to please him. he has assured me that since this is a one-time thing, i don't ever have to be around her again. all i can say, is she's got 40 years on me and i'm hoping that longevity doesn't run in her blood.

The only people we didn't invite to our wedding were 2 of DH's cousins. In the over 4 years of being together I had never meet one of them. One of them worked for DH and his dad for like a month and then started flaking out on the job, calling "in sick". The one that I have yet to meet has diagnosed mental problems and won't take his medication for it. So yeah, definitely weren't having either one at our wedding.

That really sucks about your FMIL.

Same problem but with my bro and sis in law. You and your fiance have to be a united front and stand your ground. It may be hard for him to see your views because It is his family, but you are going to be his wife and he needs to support you as #1. If anyone does not support you or has drama with your marriage then they do not deserve to be there.

I don't plan on inviting my dad simply because he told me he is not sure whether he wants to come or not. It's not like he deserves to come anyway.

I have similar problems with my FMIL. She is a witch, FH knows this, but she is still his mother and the only mother he will ever have. I have to remember that marriage is about compromise, and two people coming together as one. I would never ask him not to invite him mom, but that being said, I've already told him that she and I will not be in any pictures together AT ALL, and I am not going to speak to her let alone look at her the entire day. If she wants to amend her behavior, apologize for past comments and antics, and finally congratulate us on getting engaged OVER A YEAR LATER, then I will rethink my plan. But if not, she (unfortunately) is still a guest and welcome to at least a seat and a meal.

I think she's waiting to be uninvited. Then, it doesn't matter what happened years ago, all people will hear about is the fact that her evil daughter-in-law didn't allow her to attend her son's wedding. She's definitely looking for a fight (and another fight and another fight). Whatever happened at work years ago (and I know her side of the story would be completely different), it's time to let it go. Apparently, she likes drama.

Do you think she'll cause a scene or try to humiliate you at your wedding? If so, I'd seriously consider leaving her off the list (and really, I don't say that lightly).

I agree with Centerpiece Flowers.