Has anyone lost a friendship during their wedding planning?

Wow Duskie that "friend" was insaine and so selfish

@JulyBride..that’s terrible..so sorry to hear it.

@Meghan…I gave you guys the cliffnotes so since you don’t know the whole story I could see what you are saying..at the same time I didn’t say on my post that that’s why I am nixing them…they just haven’t been there for me and the engagement party was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Over the past few yrs, I keep having to be the one to reach out to her and make sure we keep in touch. I think friendship means being there for each other and showing up when it matters. An engagement party matters…especially when I called her specifically to see if she’d be available before I even set a date. And specially if the friends supposed to be a BFF.

In all honesty..I’m not positive I’m making the right decision. These girls and I have a history that goes back 12yrs..and in the beginning they were there for me. In the past 4yrs they haven’t been and it’s more like we are pen pals and I don’t think that will change..so if anything…

I’m letting go of a good pen pal friendship.

I lost a friend at the very being stages of planning for the wedding last year...We have known each other since 8, we actually went to a Kris Kross concert together...lol

I always knew she was a selfish person however I couldn't take it anymore when she tried to put me in a weird predicament with my fiance, his sister and her friend during Thanksgiving of 2009...

some people will never change and she is def one of those people, no need to include in the festivities because she would make it all about her as usual...to think I was actually going to make her the MOH...I dodged a HUGE bullet!

I have a couple of friendships that I feel are kind of on life support at this point--one friend made a big commitment to drive because she's afraid of flying, even though I told her several times that it's a three day drive from Wisconsin to Las Vegas ONE WAY--then backed out a month later when she suddenly realized I wasn't kidding about it being a long drive, AFTER having agreed to transport a bunch of stuff for us. the kicker is, like two weeks after not attending our wedding because of her terrible phobia of flying... she flew to New York with her new boyfriend. So basically, I rate below a guy she's been dating for two months, I guess. Honestly, this friend has been getting on my nerves for awhile now with various things, so it's kind of a last straw deal.

The other friend is my best friend from childhood, whose family is so close to mine that we basically consider each other like sisters, and who didn't come to the wedding because she said she couldn't afford it--which is reasonable on the surface, but her parents didn't come either and I KNOW they would have paid her way instantly if she'd said anything about being sad about not being able to go or whatever. (She has a long history of sponging off them, too, so it's not a question of pride.)

I just feel like the money wasn't the real reason--it was her not wanting to be there. Obviously our families are still close, but if she can't manage to come back to her own hometown in September for our second reception, I honestly don't know how I'll feel about putting further effort into the relationship.

I haven't... Though I know a few people will be upset about not getting an invite to the wedding. Eh, it is what it is.

My daughters first MOH is now a distant friend. She tried to scam us, the parents, for airfare for her entire family, to fly here from Texas. Our mistake was offering airfare for her to come to the Bridal Shower. She took that as, "my entire family will come for a month at your expense." NOT!

She has since been replaced with the lady who should have been the MOH from the start.

By the way, the original MOH IS coming here during the wedding time frame, with her family. Amazing how she was able to do that without our dough, even though she told us that she could not possibly make it to the wedding without us paying for 3 of the 4 in her family. *sigh*

@Kathy...wow...you would think it would be awkward for her.

I haven't. But then again, during each of my weddings, I went for a) a very small bridal party, b) bridal party members were family, and c) not asking anything from my bp other than showing up on the wedding day. Thus, there wasn't much of a chance of drama.

First wedding, my sister was my MOH, and my only attendant. Second wedding, my two kids were dude of honor and MOH, and our only attendants. I'm still in touch with all three. ;-)

I almost let go of a good friend, although she wasnt my MOH or bridesmaid, i still asked her if she would like to be part of my planning (bach-party, and even far enough to give a toast the day of) Welp, one day my sister came into town and since my sisters are all my bm's i wanted to go dress shopping. not intentionally did i find the dress of my dreams, but when i got home and my friend was the first to know cause i told her, she says "cool".. i said "cool?" she comes back with, yeah cool you dont care to involve me in your dress shopping then why would i want to be involved with planning your bach and even giving a toast." I was livid, told her, its my wedding and i cant plan everything around everyones schedule, plus she was at my first initial dress shopping day, so dont give me this bs!!.. she understood, but seriously, i woulda dropped her.

I can imagine FH will lose some friends when they find out we're getting married since I won't let him go to strip clubs or brothels with them *eye roll*. But frankly they pick on him too much to be real friends anyway. Both FH and I are pretty bad at making friends, that's why our bond is so strong.

I believe i have. My original MOH is a girl who is super unorganized & was busy with her own life. FS& I had to put the planning on hold for a bit so I told her to take the wedding out of her schedule because we didn't think we were going to have a WP. Once planning started back up, FS & I decided we didn't want a WP. When my youngest sister heard that she got extremely upset so our mom asked us to reconsider, so we said fine. At that point, I told the girl planning was back on but she didn't help 1 single bit. A childhood friend who I had reconnected with was helping me left & right, all while she was planning her own wedding. So I asked her & told a white lie to the other girl (I know I'm awful) but I knew she wouldn't care anyway.

Since then I've sent her an email apologizing & told her she should make a shop on etsy (makes amazing jewelry). That was about 3 weeks ago. haven't heard from her since. Oh well. :-/

I just lost a best friend today who i gave the honor of being one of my bridesmaids (and i decided not to make a made of honor so that it's fair for everyone). She kept telling me one thing or another about possibly not being able to make it to my wedding and would I be mad? I told her I would be really sad. Well now she made some sorry excuses and therefore is too broke to make it to my wedding (she moved out of state). I said you should understand if I am not friends with you ever again if you don't make it because it's the most important day of my life. She said "We've been friends for 17 years and I don't want to lose our friendship" So I told her that's true and it sucks but I am hurt and can never forgive her. I took her off of my friends in facebook today because of her selfish decision. Oddly enough my fiance is having similar issues with some friends. Amazing that it takes planning a wedding to realize who your true friends really are!!

I just recently lost a friendship over my wedding. I never asked her to be a maid of honor because i had ask someone else already, who is passionate, fun and very out going. I wanted someone out of my friends to be a MOH who will take control, and gets along with other people. I knew my friend I recently lost was not that type of person. She hate engaging with other people, and planing a wedding isn't her thing. When I originally asked her to be a bridesmaid, she was going thru a lot for her personal life ( long term brake up), and I didn't want to put any type of extra stress on her at that time. I even explained it to her, that titles of my wedding does not mean anything, but I wanted you to still stand up there with me on my side ( we had this talk more than once, bc i wanted to make sure she wasn't in her feelings and that to know she is still very special to me). Well 8 months later, she avoided me, didn't answer any calls, stood me up dress shopping. I finally texted her to call me. When we spoke ...well really like her yelling. She first started off that, 3 years ago when she came to visit my home (she lives out of my state) she saw my place and I had no pictures of her in my house and only my soon to be husband and our family members (so that identified my friendship with her) , than said i have changed since I have been with my soon to be hubby because i hung out with his family (remind you she lives out of state) Lets put this factor in she moved to another state 5 years ago, for a man she thought she would be with. But it didnt work out for her and not she is a lone over there. Myself, her and another friend were a trio all single and hung out together.....and Third reason I didn't make her a MOH, was the icing on top of the cake for her. She said from that point she knew she wanted nothing to do with my wedding. We ended our conversation with her wishing me the best of whatever my future holds and she hopes i can find it in my heart to wish her the best...

in my own thoughts, it is very selfish for people that when a friend is going thru a highlight moment in their life you should be happy for them regardless what you are going thru. We all have problems, we all have our ups and downs in life, but never should mean when you are a friend to someone they need to be down with you as well.

My lesson of this, they can call you friends, but not always rooting for you.

Yup. Had a friend who just showed me her true colors. Constantly just couldn’t make the effort for me when I was making an effort for her. We had a fight, she apologized but not about the things she did or said, just that she didn’t want to throw away our 20 year friendship, because I’m selfish and immature... I told her, Its ok. But she didn’t actually apologize for the hurt or the bold actions, which was the whole reason Fh and I were even hurt. She was supposed to be a bridesmaid but has a tendency to flake, that my mom thought she’d even bail on the wedding. We haven’t spoken since July, and I feel fine, not upset. I’m at peace with it. I don’t know if she is

View Quoted Comment I feel like i have this exact situation going on right now.

I asked someone I was very close with to be one of my bridesmaids she happily said yes. Well, previously she had said some very inappropriate comments about my FH. I just kinda let it go and let it go. Well 2 months before my appointment to pick my dress I sent a group text to her, MOH and other bridesmaid and told them the date/time and that after if everyone would like to have a celebratory lunch for picking a dress. Everyone said yes and said how excited they were. Well this "friend" showed up late. then she doesn't go to lunch because she has to take her 16 year old food (just an excuse not to go) but, I just found out she told my grandma I didn't belong in the dress and that she did. I had ended our friendship a couple months after the dress fitting. Haven't been happier since.

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I am getting married in 39 days Oct 11 and i asked my sister and supposely my bff and 2 daugthers to be my bridesmaid. My bff at first seem happy for me and my sister but now ever since I got engaged on my birthday June 25th they don't say much about it. I mean I have a bff from high school lives in a different state and she is doing more for me then my sister and bff. I mean i feel like they are not trying to talk about it with me when I bring it up and I don't think they care much or it could be jealousy. Ive been emotional all day yesterday but hey today is a new day and all not on onboard the day of the wedding, then that will tell me who my true friends are

My friend is mad at me because I told her only married and engaged people are getting a plus one and she invited her boyfriend anyway. She then went on to tell me how she’s never been to a wedding without a plus one and I should know she would be “uncomfortable” being solo. She will know like 10 people there! I’m pissed because it seems she only cares about coming to show off her boyfriend and if he’s not allowed, she won’t come. Still waiting for her RSVP back but also secretly hoping she just won’t come as she’s not there for me anyway. I know our friendship will be different after this and it’s unfortunate.