Has anyone regretted eloping?

I had a big, white wedding with all the trimmings and have zero regrets. That said, I don't think eloping is going to solve the "avoid the headache" problem for you if you still plan to have a reception at home. It's the reception that costs all the time and money, not the ceremony, so it seems silly to do that for that reason. People are still going to throw opinions at you, whether the ceremony is here or not.

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Exactly this. The reception is the difficult part to plan, and the expensive part.

I had a large wedding and have absolutely no regrets, but I didn't want to get married without all of my family there anyways so that is what I knew I wanted to do.

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Alllll of this.

If you're going to elope, do it because that's what you want. If you're second guessing it, sit down with your FH (and ONLY your FH) and discuss what the two of you want for your big day.

If you want to elope, great, but if you are planning on having a reception here you need to budget for that accordingly.

If you choose not to elope, you don't have to tell anyone any information they don't absolutely need to know. People always have opinions on this stuff and it can get super overwhelming. Do what's best for the two of you- and nothing else.

We are eloping next week with FH mom and bro and my best friend. Let me say this, neither eloping or wedding planning is drama free. Neither. A lot of people are selfish and will want it to be convienent or worth it for them to come, or offended at the decision. We did it bc it saved money (even with travel) and bc we have a lot of family that we aren’t close to and friends we are and the headache of who to invite was overwhelming.
So this is what we want money wise and drama wise. But either way you pay and there is drama so chose whatever path that you will look back on pics and be happy with.

Is Mom fronting the money for the State side wedding? Or even the reception after the small affair in Scotland? I know nothing about elopements other than the fact that its sounding really nice right about now! You mentioned a small budget, so unless they are willing to pay (which comes with a lot of say), and you are ok with it, don't do it.

We would of had maybe 75 guests? Now we are at 188. Parents had to pay for the extra extended family and what not and now it just seems unending. I haven't taken any of their 'say' as they aren't actually paying for anything, just guests they had to have, not flowers or food for my guests. So there is a ton of attitude! I really wished I had listened to others who told me/us not to do it and consider something smaller, now here we are!

I don't think eloping and then having a big party afterwards is going to save you money or the headache. The party is what is going to cause the headache. If you're private and love the idea of eloping then you shouldn't worry about others opinions.

FH and I are planning the big white wedding with all of the bells and whistles and some days it feels extremely overwhelming and eloping sounded like a better plan. But I know come the wedding day we will be happy with our decision. We plan with others in mind and its caused more headaches than its done good. We now keep all of our plans to ourselves.

We are doing what you described (but not til August so obviously don't know how it will pan out). We wanted to keep things small and that would be impossible at home, so we're getting married in CO in August (just parents and siblings) and having a reception in MN in October. It's not necessarily cheaper or less work BUT I will say that the reception has been less stressful to plan just because it's not that important to me since we'll already be married. We're renting decorations from the venue and having a taco bar so nothing too extravagant. We're going all out in Colorado. If something goes wrong in October, oh well. So far no regrets at all!

View Quoted Comment I don't have as much of an issue with planning the reception because at the end of the days it's just a party. I want the ceremony to be as stress-free as possible because that's the part that's important to me. The reception is for everyone else, the ceremony is for FH and I.

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Ya i dont get how its saving you any headache. This is more work/money now because not only are you throwing a reception but you are having the ceremony overseas.

OP Your situation is SO similar to mine. We decided to do a small ceremony/dinner with parents, siblings and grandparents. We are doing it locally only because we didn’t want to make our grandparents travel. Like PP said, nothing is drama free. Both of our sets of parents were (and still are) openly against the idea and wanted us to have a larger reception including aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, etc. it would have been over 200 people and though they were willing to pay, it was 100% what we didn’t want. I almost gave in several times because it was causing so much drama but everyday I am glad I didn’t. FH kept reminding me that we are adults, we made a decision based on what we wanted, and we can’t worry about making everyone else happy because we will be miserable.
All of the family/friends who won’t be there were disappointed at first, but they accept it because it’s our wedding and it’s not about them.
At the end of the day, it’s your wedding and your decision, and if eloping is what you truly want, you won’t regret it.

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A ceremony really is pretty stress-free to figure out, no matter where you do it. So again, I don't think eloping is necessarily the answer to your problems.

We tried to elope and people invited themselves now we are up to 50 people for our "elopement" so I would suggest not telling anyone if you do it. (I know I wouldn't have regretted it but now it's just a DW wedding lol)

I thought eloping was when nobody knows.

FH and I are eloping in May. (Surprisingly enough, not far from where my family lives) and have invited our best friends that are standing up for us. We are gone from my hometown area most of the time, so renting a place and not telling family will be easy enough. As others have stated, it isn't stress free, but for us, it's a lot less stressful because of family dynamics that posed problems if we were to have a traditional wedding.
For you, decide what the two of you want and only you. It's your day and it should be planned that way. I believe your mom means well and is excited, but if you give it a little time until the level of excitement cools down a bit, and you decide to elope, she may take it better with a gentle conversation. Good luck in deciding and let us all know...

I got married at a courthouse with immediate family and always regret it (divorced now). I never stopped feeling like I missed something important. This time I'm planning the big wedding.

We are doing a whirlwind Las Vegas wedding and honeymoon at Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego. Just my FW and a few friends. Honestly, I love this route due to it's zero drama and ease. The wedding will be at the Chapel of the Flowers and we are booked for a 4 night stay at The Venetian Hotel in Vegas.

We had a large wedding, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Though there were definitely moments in the planning that I thought, “screw this, let’s elope,” I’m so glad had the day that we did. It was worth every bit of stress and every single penny.

View Quoted Comment See I'm the opposite I did the big wedding last time (divorced) and felt like it was a total waste. I didn't particularly enjoy it even at the time. This time I'm getting married with 2 friends there and then a reception a long time off.

My sister regretted it. She regretted it so much they did a vow renewal on their 10th anniversary so she could have some of the wedding experience with family. I took that as a lesson learned.

Here is my experience:
My FH and I were originally trying to do what you are interested in. A very small elopement/ destination wedding with like 12 people in Spain. Then we wanted a casual, reception, bbq, party back in the states for family and friends.
This has been so much stress so far- first, the guest list for both events has grown considerably. So now we are at 45 people for Spain, and we’ll over 100 for the reception back at home. Because of this, this options has been neither cost effective nor easier. Not only are we now paying for two receptions, but we also are paying for travel and extra events for the guests who are also traveling (welcome party, after brunch). Planning has been logistically challenging, trying to balance the two events as well. You can read some of my other posts to see some of the frustrations.

My advice: choose one or the other, but don’t try to do both. It seems like you get the best of both worlds, but it doesn’t seem to be working out that way. In hindsight, I would have still eloped in Spain, but I would have been more firm about the guest list, and I would not have had an extra party back here in the States.

Think long and hard about what what you truly want, and who you truly want to be there with you, and then do that thing and don’t look back.

FWIW: I’m getting married in the mountains in Spain in May and coming back Stateside to have a reception in my rural hometown afterwards.