Having a courthouse wedding for immigration reasons then planning a formal wedding.

Do everything that you have dreamed of!

I held a little tiny bouquet and my FH and dad had little lapel flowers that my grandma got for us. We did bare minimum in my parents living room with our officiant. We are also waiting for name change, exchanging rings, and vows, until our formal ceremony in May. We did our legal marriage since FH is military and is having orders drawn. Don't want to get separated and I also needed some better health care!

Consider doing the unity glass thing or google different unity ceremonies. Best of luck with the immigration paperwork. My FH and I started looking into it for him and it makes me ill. All of the fees!!! $$$$ x_x

Make it memorable God bless you and your FH

Thank you al so far

@Jess, yeah, after we were $7,000 into my immigration, we realized we couldn't afford our dream wedding right off the bat!

I find this extremely sad. Marriage is something to celebrate, it does not have to be a huge party and $20k event. Have a little wedding and go to a restaurant, elope in the mountains, etc. Don't treat your marriage as a business deal. Might be a UO but I don't care.

Edit: took out last sentence since everyone takes things too literally.

Mrs b - what are you talking about? OP isnt hiding her marriage. She is just getting married through the court house .... a lot of people do that and later have a big wedding. Immigration costs are ridiculous!

If we had a courthouse wedding, I would still get a wedding dress, FH suit, bouquet, photographer for an hour n a nice meal afterwards with a very few family members.

Your formal ceremony would be a vow renewal.

Lizzy this plan is doable and will be fine if;

you're honest with your guests that you're already married

the formal celebration is identified as a vow renewal

you host everyone properly

Those are the things that are most important to you're guests, according to what I see here on this site and others. Your formal event will still be real!

You may want to discuss this with your immigration attorney if it is marriage-based immigration. I used to work for one, and USCIS would want things like photos/invites from the wedding as proof of a good faith marriage. One client had lost most documents in a natural disaster and they gave her a really hard time about it.

We are braiding rope into a cross and will have our officiant talk about the bibles verses that say 3 cords are not easily broken; me, FH, and God.

@kahlcara are there other things they really look for in the applications? We are pulling together our app and with lawyers, fees, and all that stuff it's getting crazy expensive. Any advice you can legally give aside from the above?

Mrs B, it's not a business deal. We just don't make much money, so after what's going to be between $7,000 - $10,000 just for me to move, not to mention the fees for my visa extension in six months, or the one two years after that, or my cost for citizenship; we wouldn't be able to afford a dress or anything bigger than a two witness courthouse date, within the time limit that we need to married in. Even if we could afford a wedding, it wouldn't be a 20k event. We were looking around the 5k range, since legally everything being paid for has to come from FH's money and I'm not allowed to work until I've lived there for 6 months.. We really just want our family to be there when we make our promises and exchange vows. We also believe marriage should be celebrated but you can't do that when we settle for a two witness event. Lol

@LIzzy, we do a lot of these, for a lot of reasons (and most of our courthouses don't anymore). Even more reasons thanks to our current administration and the anxiety they've managed to create.

Do whatever works for you. In many countries, you'd have to get married by a legal official before your church/family celebration. Your 'formal' wedding will totally feel real, especially if you keep the legal one very, very minimal. In NJ? We need to ask if you're serious, you have to say vows and then we need to pronounce you. That's pretty much it. It's not very romantic (unless we embellish it because it's the only ceremony the couple is going to have...) and that is on purpose.

You don't need to tell anyone ANYTHING you don't want to tell them. You don't have to 'identify' it as anything.

Get married, deal with the pressing issues on hand and plan the celebration when the dust has settled.

Good luck!

Don't worry, we've already talked to our lawyer about things like that. We've smoothed those wrinkles.

My husband and I did a courthouse wedding before he deployed, and I'm currently planning a formal wedding. We said the traditional vows for the courthouse and we are going to write our own for the actual ceremony. Do everything you have wanted to do for your formal ceremony & treat it like your actual big day! Good luck

In the U.K., they don't do the whole interview thing after the wedding. Before letting you into the country, you have to show proof of being in a serious relationship and have witnesses send in letters complete with ID to confirm that the relationship is real. Then, when getting the visa extension, all they need is our certificate and updated evidence. The lawyer we are working with said most likely, the only interviews we'll have is when applying for our license to marry.

I never even thought about not exchanging rings. That is an amazing idea! I am in college and my FH is coming over from the Netherlands; with my school/work schedule and depending on how long it takes for our visa to get approved we will probably have to do a courthouse wedding before having an actual ceremony. Until I read your ring idea I was really afraid it wouldn't be special because we were already legally married.

Hello,
Sorry for asking on this thread but it seems the most relevant one I could find...

I have moved from UK to California. SO and I are getting married this October. We didn't want to tell anybody apart from certain families and friends because we need to be married for me to legally stay in the country. I am a hopeless romantic and I wanted to propose to her with a ring in a beautiful location so she would remember this. However we simply cannot afford this due to immigration costs and the fact I cannot work until we are legally married and I have obtained a work permit.

We want to get married in secret in October but once I am working I want to "propose" and then have our wedding with all our families and friends to celebrate in the near future. We know we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together, I just want my to be wife to have the amazing wedding day she deserves and a romantic proposal without everything thinking, "Oh they are already married this is just a load of BS." Maybe I'm thinking about the social perspective too much but she really deserves a special day and I feel if people knew we got married (with no rings and it not really being special) in October and then we had our wedding the following year, it wouldn't be as special.

Just looking for some advice or if anyone has been in a similar situation.

Long distance: 3 years (saw each other for 1 month in each summer and 1/2 weeks every 3/4 months)
Living together: (2 months)

Thanks in advance.