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kbrands
Super December 2018

Having a family friend marry you -- in pa

kbrands, on August 20, 2018 at 8:42 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 13

Has anyone in PA had a family member or family friend marry you? Did they just get ordained online? What was the process like -- would you recommend it or not? We are unsure if we want to hire someone or just have someone we know do it.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Annie, on August 20, 2018 at 4:33 PM
  • firstoneat56
    Master August 2017
    firstoneat56 ·
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    I’m in NY but we had my BIL (husband’s brother) marry us. He got ordained on line. Keep in mind that this can be nerve wracking so make sure the family member is super comfortable with this responsibility and is a competent public speaker.

    We asked my BIL because he’s officiated at many weddings in Florida (you can marry people if you are a notary in FL). He’s an attorney and a PT actor do he’s very comfortable with performing and public speaking and is a fantastic speech writer as well.
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  • Mrs. H
    Master September 2019
    Mrs. H ·
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    FH and I are not religious and honestly have no preference who marries us, so for us, this is an option as well. Apparently it is very easy to get ordained - esp. online like @firsoneat56 mentioned.

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  • Munchkin9218
    Master September 2018
    Munchkin9218 ·
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    It can vary by county in PA so your best bet is to call the county you live in or are getting married in and ask. I live in PA but we are getting married in NJ. I had a friend who had officiated a wedding for another friend so I knew it was possible but just wanted to call and confirm. It was helpful to get all the information first hand from someone in the office so we knew nothing was being misconstrued.

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  • Heather
    Expert August 2018
    Heather ·
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    Husbands best friend married us. Practically family as he's been a friend for over 20 years. It didn't take him long to become ordained, a quick test I think online, and it was totally worth it!
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  • Heather
    Expert August 2018
    Heather ·
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    Oh, we're also in PA. I don't think it matters the county, like the marriage license.
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  • Happily Ever Mrs. H
    VIP October 2018
    Happily Ever Mrs. H ·
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    My uncle is marrying us. I am unsure if he did it online or through his church, but he got a license, so I am hoping it's legal? I am going to ask the Court of Wills when we appear for our marriage license.

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  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
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    PA has had some issues with marriages where the officiant was ordained online. Definitely call the county you'll be married in and ask where they stand on online officiants. Or, go the self uniting route.

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  • C
    Super August 2017
    C ·
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    I am pretty sure you cannot have a person ordained online officiate in PA but absolutely check the website of the county you’re getting married in and call them to confirm everything. Look into self uniting marriage licenses. This is what we did to have a friend “marry” us. Technically we married ourselves but he led the ceremony. Like someone else said make sure you really think about who the person is you’re thinking of asking and if they’d be comfortable doing this. I wrote our entire ceremony script except for a small part where I told him he could say whatever. I didn’t want to give him a job. There was a couple small hiccups and he left out some parts that he originally was going to say so it definitely wasn’t perfect but I don’t mind. It meant a lot to us.
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  • Munchkin9218
    Master September 2018
    Munchkin9218 ·
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    Agree with this, confirm that the person will be comfortable and knows exactly what they are getting into. FH's sister was going to officiate for us, but at about 8 weeks out when we sent her our script got really nervous about it, and asked us if we would mind if she didn't do it as she was nervous about messing up. We assured her we knew everything would go great but didn;t want her to be uncomfortable. Then we had to scramble to find a professional. We were lucky to find someone with stellar reviews so close to our date available but if I could do it again I would avoid the stress and just hire someone from the get go.

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  • AshleyR
    Master January 2021
    AshleyR ·
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    I live in PA. If you read the state law it says that it does not recognize officiants ordained online since they require the officiant to have a congregation that actively meets in person. However I’ve heard that this can vary county to county. I would call the county office that you would be filing your marriage certificate in and find out for sure, although I’ve also heard from others that they won’t really give a definitive answer. I personally did not want to risk the chance of my marriage being illegitimate so I just hired a pro.
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  • M
    0000
    Mim ·
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    Pennsylvania has very different standards for weddings. Call the county clerk where the ceremony will be and get a clear answer. You might also want to ask about a self uniting license. Because of the Quaker population this is a very rare option in PA, I believe Colorado is the only other state that has that option.
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  • MrsMcK
    VIP September 2017
    MrsMcK ·
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    This is literally the most important part of your wedding day.
    Hire a professional.
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  • Annie
    VIP October 2018
    Annie ·
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    Depends what county you're getting married in. One of my cousins got married in Lancaster Co. and they don't allow that. Another cousin got married in Chester Co. where a family friend who was ordained online was able to do it.

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