Having a friend or family member ordained to marry you

I hope you think I was being negative - I totally want you to be married by someone special. Just be clear from the get go about boundaries, fees, etc. If we had been paying someone they would have done what we asked, period.

Best wishes!!!

Hi Kelly,

Getting an officiant that knows you both is definitely the way to go! We picked a friend that we met as a couple and made sure their service was their gift. It was great because we were able to plan the ceremony sitting in our living room like we always do anyway- which made for some very open collaboration between the three of us!

It also allows you to get really creative and come up with unique ideas. Please check out 20 Ways To Personalize Your Wedding Ceremony on the WeddingWire ideas page.

My stepdad is an ordained minister and doing our ceremony. I think it so much more meaningful when you have a family member or friend do it versus the pastor you met two weeks ago. One of my friends had her brother do it and it was such a pretty ceremony! He received his certificate weeks before the wedding, practiced and it turned out amazing! I would definitely consider someone you have a relationship with.

One of my FH best friend went to school to be a pastor & is currently looking for a job as that, has worked in churches, etc. and we've always said we really want our wedding to be as personal as it can get so why not have his best friend marry us! So that's what we are doing, when fh asked him he cried lol

We had one of my wife's best friend's marry us. We knew we wanted someone who knew us to do it and we picked her cause of our closeness and that she would be fully capable of doing an amazing job (very responsible, well spoken, etc). She was wonderful, did such a nice job, everything was beautiful and so well written, we are 110% happy we went with her :-)

My dad is going to be marrying us. It'll be his first wedding since becoming a pastor, but he checked with his synod and the state law and he's all set. He's going to be doing the ceremony mostly by the book. We only have a few phrases we want to add, as well as a "ring warming/blessing" by those present.

It's awesome you've received so much positive encouragement to this post. If you go this route I really hope it works out perfectly for you. However, you might try searching old posts related to "friendor officiants" because there have been many stories from brides for whom this didn't work out very well (e.g., some "officiants" end up flaking out at the last minute -- leaving the couple scrambling and stressed trying to find a replacement, others have messed up filing the paperwork and the panicked couple was left dealing with the legal mess, others just do a bad job). We have a relative who asked a favorite law school professor to officiate their wedding. You'd think, wow! A law professor should certainly be qualified to do the job! I guess she was technically qualified, but IT WAS AWFUL.... Literally, the entire "ceremony" was 3 minutes -- and for two of those the officiant was introducing herself and talking about her newest position as the dean of a law school. 85% of the guests flew 3000+ miles for this destination wedding. The ceremony ended so quickly and so abruptly that everyone just sat there trying to figure out what we were supposed to do. The venue was NOT ready for cocktail hour to begin for at least another 30 minutes (everything was in one place). It was incredibly awkward, and, honestly, the bride's mother was completely mortified (not in a MOB-zilla way at all..., it was just REALLY BAD). Just be sure you REALLY do your homework and think long and hard about the person you who ask to take this critical role and responsibility in your wedding -- a lot will be riding on them. Good luck!

Oops - I meant to say I hope you didn't think I was being negative. Can't edit!