Having family help with the wedding or not?

I firmly believe that it's not your friends and family's responsibility to set up for your wedding. If you and your FS won't be available to do it, I would hire a professional and allow your family to enjoy their day.

I think you should ask. I love helping decorate for weddings and showers but some people find it overwhelming.

Our DOC and florist are doing our decorations. My mom and I will probably go down and see how things are going at some point (I am a perfectionist and will want to double check stuff), but I decided I would rather have someone else take care of it than stress over it myself. I also didn't want to put the stress on my mom. So if you can budget for someone else do it, that would be my suggestion.

My fam and friends helped decorate and set up mine. You can show them pictures and they can try to set it up that way. Honestly if it was the other way around I wouldn't mind at all helping. It does save money. Of course if you haveeee the budget for it it's always nice having a professional but if you dont, nothing is wrong with having help at all.

I think maybe you should talk to your family before you decide. My opinion regarding my own wedding was that I didn't want my friends and family to have jobs for my wedding. I just wanted them to come and enjoy themselves.

However, my FMIL pointed out that she, as well as others she had already spoken to, wanted to help out in any way they could, and possibly save FH and I some money along the way. So before I could even think of asking how they felt about helping out, I had several family members all set to come and decorate, and tear down at the end of the night. Our venue will tear down all of the tables, chairs, dishes, linens, etc. But any decorations we bring in, we have to take down ourselves, or be charged a "cleaning fee."

When I told FMIL that I couldn't possibly ask anyone to help out in that way, giving them "jobs" at my wedding, she told me to "get over it" and that she had already started the ball rolling. Umm.......ok. LOL She's the best!!

My long-winded point is that you never know how people feel about it until you ask. I'm sure you can discreetly start polling your family members to get a sense of their take on this subject. It can't hurt to ask, as my FMIL so cleverly pointed out to me.

My family doesn’t mind, I’m more so worrying about it being too much on them or things add up cost wise buying decorations and or things just going wrong. Therefore hiring a professional and being done with it. Just wanted to hear both side of things

Setting up, sure if they want to. Every wedding I've gone to, the family and groomsmen set up.....but that's discussed really early on to see if they're up for it/want to do it. But if you want to go the DIY route, you have to keep an even closer eye on purchases since stuff adds up more via hidden purchases.

I would never have family do anything that was important to me for a wedding--even if they enthusiastically volunteered. The problem is, if it isn't done right, you can end up resentful that they "ruined" your day. Why risk family relationships over one day?

We got a month-of-coordinator to help with the actual coordination of planning everything and also to set up and tear down things - I'd highly recommend looking into something like that. If your family really wants to help and you think they can do a good job, I think it's ok to have them do it, but I personally would rather pay a professional and let my family and friends relax the day of the wedding. Also, at our venue everything has to be taken down the night of the event, and I'd feel bad making my family stay behind to clean up.

It depends on when you plan on getting the venue set up. If you have access to the venue the night before your wedding then that could be when you set up your venue. However, if setting up is not possible till morning of then I woul ddefintely hire someone to set up because you, your party, and family will be too busy getting ready.

I personally didn't want my friends and/or family to work for me for free on my wedding day BUT i don't have family members who offered and enjoy doing that kind of a thing. Even if I did, I wanted to rent so many things I couldn't have provided myself that the business I hired has and they set it all up so I knew that was the best option for both myself and my loved ones. I know so many people whose friends and family did help them decorate and it was fine but I think it's really hard for your friends and family who more than likely haven't set up a wedding before to bring your vision to life.

It doesn't hurt to maybe ask someone who likes to set up for parties in your family. Especially if you're going to pay them something or give them a gift as a thank you.

I say definitely ask. You know your friends and family best! I didn't even have to ask and my twin sister and mom said they plan on helping with the setup and recruiting a few others as well since they were the main two people helping with my DIY projects.

My wedding is in my hometown and I live four hours away so I took off the Friday before the wedding and will drive there that Thursday after work, FH will come that Friday morning and my family and future in laws will decorate together Friday morning and then come back later that evening for rehearsal.

I'm also very picky so with us doing it I will be 100% satisfied with the end result, and if I'm not then it will be my fault for not changing it during the process.

I actually wanted to find someone to decorate but they were charging a fortune.. I called a few wedding coordinator who didn’t even want to do day of only. If anyone knows where I’d look for someone reasonably priced to that I would love to know?

View Quoted Comment What is your budget for both?

If they dont mind then I would let them. I know some people want to do it "traditional way" of not having any friends or family ask but it's your wedding. If it saves you money heck yes!! Which it will.

There's always the chance that your family will change their mind on the day of the wedding about wanting to help decorate, and then you'll be out of luck and bitter.
Best to pay someone else to do it.

Don't forget also you will need to have a tear down group as well and I'm not sure who after a wedding really wants to stay later and clean up the reception space after spending all morning setting it up, attending the wedding and then clean up well into the night. I would highly recommend hiring a DOC or a company to do all set up and tear down and let your family have a fun weekend as well.