Having my moh step down ?

If you really want her to step down, then you do it now, don't wait. But if you think you all can get past the disagreement with her husband then why ask her to step down?

You have plenty of time to see how this resolves. Keep in mind we are in the middle of a pandemic so many people haven't hung out with anyone in months. If you value this friendship, you should focus on that. Kicking her out of your wedding party will be a friendship ending move.

Be honest. Only you know what happened and how it made you and your FH feel. Tell her while you don' want it to affect your friendship, you feel that perhaps her being MOH is not the right fit. - Knowing at the end of the day, you've just completely more than likely ended your friendship.

Your wedding is almost 13 months away. You have time to see how things play out without waiting until the last minute.

If you ask her to step down, that will pretty much end your friendship forever. Do you really want to do that over something her husband did? There is a reason she is your MOH, I assume she is ypur best friend. Are you willing to end that friendship?

I would instead find a way to make peace with her. Go out to lunch or a winery, just the too of you. Explain how you love her and she is your best friend. He husband hurt you and you don't feel comfortable spending time around him, unless he apologizes. Reassure her that you will always be polite when you see him and not cause a scene, but that you are not interested in being friends with someone who treats you like that. Tell her that you would like to maintain your relationship with her, but most of your time together will be without the husbands, unless something changes.

What a hard decision to make! If what her husband said offends you to the point you don’t want to be friends with her, then I would let her go now. However, if you value her and your friendship, maybe you can work it out? Sometimes people think they know others intentions, but maybe there is more to the story, or more reason why she got so upset, or why others got upset. Obviously we don’t have the full story, nor do I know what words she called you. Sometimes outbursts of angry words are not always about what we think it’s about. Since this is a DW, I would not wait too long, especially if flights/hotels are involved, do it before she books. This is also such a stressful time for everyone. 💕

I hope you can work it!

I agree, perhaps meet up with her once things with covid settle even if its an ice cream date or coffee date and talk it out. Relationships change from day to day and week to week and right now things are so stressful and uncertain. Offer her a hand if closer to next year things are still bad or have taken a turn for the worst then ask her to step down, at this time there is time to remedy that bridge.

Is her husband in the wedding?

This type of stuff drives me insane. People don't seem to understand that you can have differing opinions with your friends and respect that. If he said hurtful things to you, and she's on his side, and isn't talking to you - then I'd just straight up tell her like look if you're going to be that petty, I wouldn't want you standing by my side on my wedding day anyway. byyyyeee. Lol sorry but I don't deal with that. Friends don't treat friends like crap. Especially when she's your MOH.

If he called you names, didn't apologize, and she's still upset with you I'd be done. Arguments happen, major differences of opinion can happen and things can get heated. I've even told people that their opinion is wrong (if you think the Earth is flat then your opinion is wrong too). BUT name-calling steps over the line. If you value someone in your social circle then you refrain from it unless you are a toddler. If you mess up and your temper gets the best of you, you apologize. If she's okay with him treating you poorly then what else is there to say?