Having problems with my husband

My husband and i keep having issues and fighting. They are mostly my fault and i feel horrible about it. I feel like i cant trust him though. He lies about stuff i ask him about like i asked him about the liquor i know he's been hiding and he says it doesnt exist. He knows i dont like when he smokes cigarettes but i would rather him tell me he wants one instead of telling me to go inside then i later walk out and he hides the cigarette under his knee thinking i wont see it and lies about it. He got trashed and yelled at me making me feel like a piece of crap on our wedding night and said its my fault that thats what i remember of our wedding night even though i didnt do anything but what should happen on a wedding night (intimacy). Today i tries to be honest with him about my feelings about him drinking so much and told him i dont like the way he treats me when he drinks and he started yelling at me saying thats the only thing that makes him happy and not want to killing himself is drinking its what makes things not so boring. I get it some things are more fun with drinking but he makes it like its the only thing that is fun instead of going and doing something to not be bored, he drinks. He makes me feel like i dont make him happy, like he married me because he thought thats what comes next in the relationship it didnt seem like he actually wanted it. He is always complaining like we're gonna end up divorced and im gonna take half of his stuff and thats always been something he brings up as a "joke" and during arguments. I feel that when he says that i want to say "then why did you marry me?" Because it makes me feel like he is more worried about that than losing me. Well i think thats all i have to say right now i know its a little all over the place and jumbled up but i needed to say it and i need some advice about how to be able to trust him or how to let the little things go easier and what to do about my marriage.